Nightly I yawn and fall deep into nightmarish slumber:
My incisors loose themselves from diseased, purplish gums
Pus accumulates in a boil on my upper lip
Despotic supermarket cashiers loom large
They punish me with bladed instruments
I am forced behind the toilet
I have only a bag of caramels and a bottle of bourbon
They have taken all of my spinach
I have been hoarding it for months
cans and cans of it
in case of emergency
I stand alone under a gazebo
Wearing only a pink cardigan
A crowd gathers behind me
They laugh at my pale sagging ass
They write bad reviews that are published in a scholarly journal
I cannot turn around due to severe whiplash
I stand before them, baring my embarrassing rear
and forming my malleable forehead into horns and antlers
with chapped and shaking hands