Here is a fun game that I only started to play last night with some friends just as we were leaving a dinner party:
What would be the most wrong, the most embarrassing, the most raw and inappropriate title for a solo show?
Here are my ideas:
1. My Barren Womb
2. I am Miserable
3. Please Buy My Art and/or Write About It
195 comments:
What are your ideas?
gosh, that about sums it up mm. lesseee.
"incest" - or "grandaddy touched me"
"picking the wounds"
eh. these suck. this is hard.
The Stillness of The Heart
Breaking Boundaries
Poignant Reflections
I Love K Fed
Phenomenology and Tautology
Flattering Self-Portraits
Have you heard the good news?
I Hate Myself
Fractures of the Soul
I Wish I Had Been A Stripper But Now I Am Too Old
Genius
I hate my parents
Conquering addiciton
Here is a title:
I Have a Yeast Infection
positive alignment is welcome. yes.
hearts on fire
bush sucks
coma remeniscent
cornrows and hatemail
slumber love and sexuality
wonderland and sexual activities of the stars
paris hilton had sex with me
gnostic gospels and Jesus: my interpretation
I am the way the truth and the life; I am a believer
Prophetic wanderer
I've already made it
this was brought to my attention
Well done Hams!!!! I knew you'd be good at this game.
Jesus Won't Save Me
I am Blind with Desire
My thighs need squeezing for they are soft as Cheez wiz
I like "Slumber Love and Sexuality"
Hams!!! ROCKIT.
zany contours
dog days for me
alice is my whore in wonderland
Child Abuse is Ok
Poo Smears
I Steal Bikes
pussy moments
the grimy underpinnings of armpits and universalism
untitled horse
empathy for my naval
Trapped in Rabbit Hutches
Paper Clips in My Ears Hurt Me
Juice and Jam Stains on my Jeans
i cannot even escape computer to make coffee. I have a problem! L train is out today. I think i will go on another bushwick camera outing today. now that the alcohol from last night is winding its way out.
"Pussy Moments"!!!! HAHAHA! oh my god....
Please Love Me
Please Love Me and My Poo
Lap Trauma
Gazing Inward at my Problems
Trying to Get Close to Others
corosive parking job
wishful cartharsis and jubilation
myself and you
For My Dead Dad
I am Highly Sensitive
The Dance of Anger
juxtaposing different things
juggling time and space
i am flying, no, i am soaring
the square dance of anger
the timing and placement of me is unfortunate
lap trauma!!! love
drawing money
falling leaves
the earth is painstaking
anatomy of barbarism
naming my aid's related illnesses
I am flying, no, I am soaring. LOL
corrosive parking job is great!!!
that homeless smell
my coming death via overdose
Embarrassing Problems
Joy
Healing Images
chinks and kikes should stay away from each other
aids and how to beat it
poke my wounds
symetry and justifications
detection of white heads
falling leaves....YES!
Stop the Rains
Don't Stop the Rains
Don't Stop the Dance
Stop the Dance
Me vs. Picasso
After the Rain Dance
Gut Trembles
Just Cause
Beer Goggles
tag you're it
hunting prey for kicks
Me vs. You vs. Picasso
"LOL"
Chewing Kittens in the Morning
"LOL"!!!!! YES!!!!
"Placenta non-grata"
This Work is Made from Baby Remains
Babies Kill
Cunts are Magic
Sallie Mae is My Pimp
memoirs of the drug clinic
I was once hospitalized
depression
bi- polar disordered
check points for mental hygiene
the gospel of carol
Splats on the Sidewalk
She's Listless, She won't eat
My sagging belly gets in the way
God's Invitation to You
Hammy, what about
Pressure Point and Chicken
remember? That was your name one time.
juicy drippings and paint
the studio is my coffin
cunts ARE magic
my cat is my child
The Labial Goddess
those are good ones. :)
Pressure pointing the starry scopes of visionary siezure
divorcing hank
lost in labial lubricants
libidinal listlessness
languid labial labrynths and lies
"Divorcing Hank"... HAHAHA! love it
My Psychic Told Me This Show Will Be a Failure
Oh my god I am laughing too hard...!
my dealer is a pharasee
art jams
I LOVE
Divorcing Hank!!!!
My Dealer Undermines Me All the Time
Art Jams!!!
a psalm for dollars
angels in my breadbox
ANything with Labia and lots of alliteration would be a success.
daddy touched me
manna in chelsea
Ruminations
you guys are cracking me up laughing out loud!
must... go... to... studio..........
This is kind of cheating since it's already a cd title but...
"babies pregnant with pregnant babies"
re: baad show titles
'blank slate'
'procrastination reigns'
You know I can't stay out of this one, this one the best ever. My entries . . .
Fuckbag Flora
I Went Down On My Dealer
Jesus Was A Capricorn (Wait. No. That's a Kris Kristofferson song.)
Minty Squaw
My mother, my art, and i...
Here's some guaranteed winners:
My Uncle the Rapist
Desperate Housewives
Tears of Jesus
Neoanything
Sadness: a Poem
Paintings from the Heart
Painting -- To Live!
I'm good too (I think)!
Most Improved 2005
looking under scabs
Fit to Frame
Touched by the Pope: A Visual Diary
Shapes-n-Forms-n-More
I Love You, Fuck You, I'm Sorry
I'm sorry, Edna, but "I love you, fuck you, I'm sorry" would actaully be a great title for a show...
I like Shapes-n-Forms-n-More but that's just me.
Torsion and Touching
Kinetic Invitations to Spirituality
Freed from Bondage of Self-Hate
Eliminate Hair Growth
And HAA Minty Squaw IS great. I want to steal it.
Ma Pussy Has Sagged to Look Like a Pair of 1984 Cheenos
I have a show coming up and now I'm scared about the title!! I'm serious.
what do you think?
Divorcing Hank or Art Jams?
I missed a great time--I've been really sick. So here are mine:
Fun with Fellatio
Obesity is so over
I just saved a ton of money on my car insurance
Hope you have a heart attack and die
Bush sucks Cheney's....
PD, I'm really sick too. I wish we could sip chicken soup together. I am sequestered.
"obesity is so over" is hilarious
I am so tired of chicken broth right now--ugh! It would be more fun if I had some company.
Who moved my cheese
Ham--come over and we'll have some Jack Daniels and Oxy.
It's not your baby
Who let the dogs out
Bladder control is overrated
Ha! Highlarious, PD... who let the dogs out... owie!
Bitch Whores
Dirty Little Whores
Hammerhead in the Morning Light
Breakfast on Bald Head
Put the Bacon Down
Give me back my suds
I am drowing in fish delight
Dolphins are a symbol of Peace
My Anullment
PD - you are great! Feel better please, you too Hams.
I like Divorcing Hank personally, HP. It's weird. But now you have thought of so many that the right one will hit you like a turkey in the forehead.
the pot is full of beans
gynecology is more painful than people want to admit
Reading these over again revealed new faves... most excellent thread!
My Fourth Abortion
Interplanetary Federations are a Mistake
What if your juice is made of pee?
Wazzup, Yo?
Voiding My Soul
The Zone
Yeah Sloth. Wazzzup Yo.
24-7
It's All Good
What up?
Pretentious German Attitudes
Rich Man's Po-Mo
Dirty Pillows
pursed lips
aging pets
pet loaf
sexy lady expressionism with flowers
The Baby Was Mine and You Killed It, Bitch
Women are Inferior
Can't you just imagine everyone saying, "Have you seen the 'Dirty Pillows' show at MoMa? It's great!!!
That would be great. I would like to see a show called that.
Nice Sloth.
It hurts, It burns
Greenish Discharge
My bisected stomach looks like a tush
Buy My Art So I Can Get My Teeth Whitened
Yeah!!!
My Teeth Are So Yellow, Please Help Me!!!!!
Based on this show, Would you imagine I had been ass-raped?
Hot Dogs Are For Everyone
2 dimensions are 3 dimensions
penis warts
Soul Ache
Soul Acne
MM, I can't stop laughing... the ass-rape one....
The Power of Art
I love Soul Acne
How about
The Power of Love and the Power of Art working together for the first time
PS - PLEASE CHECK OUT EDWINKLEMAN.BLOGSPOT.COM for an excellent excellent pick for artist of the week.
My Obsession: Kiddie Porn
Crevasse
Synergy Flow
Phat Lines
blogger can't find it, ems...
sorry that would be
edwardwinkleman.blogspot.com
my apologies. i too think kiddie porn, in particular baby porn would be good for art and show title.
kickass to uncle fritz on the blog mention. i just commented. scary.
I loved your comment FB and UF will too. He was very touched by the post. He deserves. He works harder than anyone I have ever met. Ever. Also let it be known that he has a Mountain Man sized appetite. Makes sense.
Reading the tea leaves
Zeitgeist
My hands are bleeding from painting so much
Sloth, what about
I am the Zeitgeist??
Zeitgeist is a word that is under-used especially in the art parlance.
I am the Palimpsest, the Zeitgeist, the aging Youthquake
YAY Uncle Fritz!!! I am in love with his paintings.
MM, I like how "I am the zeitgeist" has a Beatles reference...
Also, the Jesus reference..I am the way, etc., etc.
Fritz will be very pleased with these responses!!! He needs to feel the love.
Fritzy must know he is a frickin genius artist & loved by many.
ps MM, as per your & UF's recommendation, I've been playing with the Golden Fluid Acrylics. LOVE.
They rule. And they have changed both of our work and for the better we both think. Love the Golden Fluids.
They impart a freshness that has been lacking for me.
still experimenting... gotta make a real painting with them still...
Has this one been used already?
Who do I have to blow to get a review?
Nabob, no I don't think that one's been used yet. But there has been plenty of references to fellatio.
Do I Have To Suck Jerry Saltz's Penis to Get a Review?
I think this is an appropriate path you are onto.
Jerry, just for the record, I'm REAL good at BJ's. I got a blue ribbon at the County Fair.
I'll put you on the list.
WOW!!!! Thanks Jerry!!!! I am super duper excited to be on the list. Please make me, don't break me.
Please don't tell anyone about what I'll be wearing, okay?
Edgecutters of the Future
Future Shockers
The Shock of the Nude
History in the Making
Neo Avant Guardist
Fire in my Belly
My Paintings are my Children
I Paint with my Cock
More to come . . .
Numberone,
I can't wait for more. Please don't make me wait too long!!!
Cocks had make their debut.
My Cock is Set on High to Emit Rapid Fire Daubs of Paint
The Cock of Humanity is My Art
My Cock Hurts From Painting So Much
You have inspired me so much. I heart you.
The Avant Garde is Me
The Scalliwag Artist Leader is Me
I am Shocked by Newness in the Form of Me
Body and Soul
Heart and Soul
Stop Slapping my Face with Your Dick All Covered in Shit from Fucking Jesus, Part II
Touch of Class™
It's All About Me
Autobiographical Exhibit
A Show on Me
My Private Experiences Are Worth Sharing
Impressionism is Back
Try to Contain Your Jealousy
Mesothilioma Sucks
Mucus Membrane
Anal Retardation
Oxy-Induced Imagery
The Cum Paintings
Pay me in cash on the way out
Zit poppers
Turd in the Punch Bowl
I'd Rather Be Golfing
On the Same Page
Must . . . hit . . . 200.
Scorched Earth Policy
My Mac Made My Paintings
Kiss Me, I'm Jewish!
Special Women Artists
Celestial Realm (Actual show name!)
HaHa!!! I read that last one as "Celestial Cream". Word up to the accidents of my mind.
Props to Dyslexia, Yo.
I love my mac made my paintings!!!
Phlegm: It's what's for dinner
Jerry Schmaltz Loves My Work
My Paintings Ruined My Liver
A Very Special Ejaculation
Yes - the "phlegm" one is a hoot... also "my painting ruined my liver..." (I just almost typed "dinner" for "liver," which would be odd but also kind of funny)
Mrs. Andry is calling her show that opens in LA in two weeks
"Wimmin by Womyn who love Wymin"
How's my painting?
Call 1-800-EAT-SHIT
HAHAHA!!!! oh my god, coffee just came out of my nose...
my painting ruined my diner.
lol
Hitler Youth Art League 2006 National Juried Exhibition
if you kids want a "Hows my painting?" Bumpersticker, I had 500 of them made and don't know what to do with them all. (I used a few in a painting al la Kippenburger...)
write me your address and I'll pop one in the mail to you
corncub42@hotmail.com
Trite Made Flesh!!!
This should be everywhere.
Holistic Art of the Sedona Transgendered
Daddy's Little Boy
Slopes: Art of Asia
Candy Tinkles and Marigold Dreams: Art for Living Beings
From Me to You, with Love
Delta Dawn: Watercolors of a New Dawn
i think i can get more offensive, but i'm afraid.
MARTIN!!!! I love yours. Especially the last one. Mentioning Dawn twice in the title is a stroke of genius. Please get more offensive.
What can be more offensive than what we have already mentioned:
pussies
cunts
bj's
cocks
green emissions
wound pickings
Please be more offensive.
I heart you!!!!
Yes We Can!!! All Canvasses in this Show Were Stretched By Retarded Teens.
I love Daddy's Little Boy too. Good stuff. Turd Pavilion from AlsoArthur is another gem.
I thought Numberoneartist said "Kill me, I'm Jewish"
HAA, I love misreading. It is so much more fun than real reading.
I Believe in the Power of Retarded Teens
My Cyclops Kitten is Actally My Furry Wang
I know, Martin turns out to be a comic. I love it.
Rip some more from the headlines, AA. We need context if we are going to have relevance as artists. ART CAN CHANGE THE WORLD.
Urine My Face, I Want To Be In Your Living Room
HA!!! I don't know what to say Martin. Very nice. I want to be in everyone's living room. But I want the urine out of my face for good. What to do.
My Effort = Profound
I Wish I was Prettier so I Could get Photographed on Artnet
Why Are My Hopes So High?
How about
What is the Title?
I Don't Believe in You Barbara
Avoid me or Embrace me, I will tell you my deepest thoughts anyway
Sexual Organs, Responsibility and The Torah
Slide Down
Self-Hating Jews: a Love Story
The Mother Load
My Daisy is Proud
Retrospective Afterbirth
The Corners of My Heart, The Angles of Our Love
Slitstream
Paul Virilio's Super Bowl Ring
Chinese Outback
Marcus Welby's Legacy
Empitago
Wife Swamp
Ballerina Machete
Milk Toss
Brain In A Bat
Stealth Health: You Can't See My Lungs
Get It Off Me
Hitler: Can We Really Get Enough?
Laughing All the Way to the Bank
"Get it off me" HAHAHA brenty... hilarious!
It Curves to the Right
Shack Nasty
Chewing on Insanity
Skankin' Through Mordor
My Taxidermied Life
The Disproof of Intelligent Design
"Skankin' through Mordor".... brilliant, Krix!
also LOVE "It Curves to the Right"
Hitler: Can We Ever Get Enough? No, we really can't.
Marcus Welby's Legacy!!! Not enough people realize how pervasive it is.
It Curves to the Right - yes it does!!
Maximal Pretension, Minimal Work or It's Easy To Dupe The Critics
Thank you DW!
The Maximal/Minimal axis has always had a lot of potential for duping.
Catch My Wind
Creativity Gets Me Fired Up - See?
The Waters of My Mind are Overflowing Onto Canvas
Molding Matter
Surface Textures are Romantic
I am Richter
This won't hurt abit
I promiss to put out
Just sticking the tip in
This will require lots of LUBE
The only abortion that ever lived
"On Becoming"
(that last one is an actual show title).
"High On Life"
I Want to Pork My Daddy
I am High on Art and Life
Why?
Boisterous Travels in the Tributaries of the Mind's River
Fortuitous Collisions of Ideas and Materials
Dental Dams are Cheaper Than Herpes
Damn straight, Gene T. Do you think someone could make a bumper sticker reminding us all about the power of dental dams?
"I went to Yale for Christ's sake!"
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