Monday, January 09, 2006

Please Excuse Me

In no way do I want to cease ruminations on the topic of Bad Art Show Titles, but I have this love for Donald Barthelme and it is so deep that I must post another quote. This one is from "The Rise of Capitalism" also from the 60 Stories collection.

"The first thing I did was make a mistake. I thought I had understood capitalism, but what I had done was assume an attitude - melancholy sadness - toward it. This attitude is not correct. Fortunately your letter came, at that instant. "Dear Rupert, I love you every day. You are the world, which is life. I love you I adore you I am crazy about you. Love, Marta." Reading between the lines, I understood your critique of my attitude towards capitalism....Darkness falls. My neighbor continues to commit suicide, once a fortnight. I have his suicides geared into my schedule because my role is to save him, once I was late and he spent two days unconscious on the floor. But now that I have understood that I have not understood capitalism, perhaps a less equivocal position toward it can be "hammered out."

120 comments:

postmoderndebunker said...

Capitalism sure is sunny!

postmoderndebunker said...

"You going to the hog wrassle?
No I'm after the emerald.
What's your name?
My name is Cold Cuts. What's that machine?"

postmoderndebunker said...

"The Emerald" has the best names in it....like "Wide Boy"

mountain man said...

Hey buddy what's your name?
My name is Tope. What's your name?
My name is Sallywag.

mountain man said...

I also loved "Rebecca."

Rebecca Lizard was trying to change her ugly, reptilian, thoroughly unacceptable last name.

postmoderndebunker said...

I was gonna mention Rebecca next!

This guy is so brilliant. I heard that he once won some big literary award and gambled away all the $$

mountain man said...

Yeah I think he and his brother Frederick were addicted to gambling in Texas? Must doublecheck on that.

Another fave:

See The Moon?

I know you think I'm wasting my time. You've made that perfectly clear. But I'm conducting these very important lunar hostility studies. And it's not you who'll have to leave the warm safe capsule. And dip a toe into the threatening lunar surround.



It's pure magic to read.

pd said...

Show me a man that worries about pure edges and I'll show you a natural-born winner.

This quote would be a good subtitle for an art show.

mountain man said...

So many lines would be good, in my opinion. You could pick blind.

Why Did You Have To Have a Drink With Stephanie?

It's Strengthening

A Brilliant Life Awaits Me, Is What I am Trying to Say to You

These are not good reasons, But good reasons exist

Calm Reigns in the Country, Thanks to the Confident Wisdom of Everyone

pd said...

Yes, success is everything. Morally important as well as useful in a practical way.

mountain man said...

Oh PD. I am so glad we share this!!!

Elsa, Jacques, Ramona and Charles drove out to the combined racetrack and art gallery. Ramona had a Heineken and everyone else had one too.

pd said...

What did you do today?
Went to the grocery store and xeroxed a box of English muffins, two pounds of ground veal and an apple. In flagrant violation of the copyright act.

pd said...

I don't think writers today take enough chances like this guy.

mountain man said...

I completely agree. One more quote (for now):

from The Dolt:

Edgar was preparing to take the National Writer's Examination, a five-hour fifty-minute examination, for his certificate. He was in his room, frightened. The prospect of taking the exam again put him in worlds of hurt. He had taken it twice before, with evil results.

pd said...

oh i remember that one--soooo good.

fairy butler said...

mm, that gnar tapeworm post really cracks me up. everytime i see it on there. ffffffffttt

Mountain Man said...

Thanks FB. DId you notice that someone named The Capt'n from Team Shredder blog posted it on theirs? I thought that was funny because I remember when I was writing it, feeling like a real dumbass laying in the guest room bed at my parents, deleting and re-writing the post over and over. To arrive at FFffffttt. Very strange.

Here's a funny little story regarding Fffffffttt:

When mini UF was like 12 I told her that was really the sound a tapeworm made and she believed me for like 3 years and had told all her friends who thought she was crazy and sick. I finally told her that it had been a little joke and she was shocked. Pretty funny, it was. It is now the stuff of stepfamily legend. By the way, on that note, she has received her punishment and wrote an excellent and well-thought out apology to myself and UF. As they now say in the suburbs "It's all good."

sloth said...

She's gonna be fine, MM, & so will you.

Traumatizing children is so fun - the sloth niece is especially suceptible...

Mountain Man said...

Sloth, I know you are trying to be nice esp. since I talked your frigging ear off the other night, but come on now!!! She of course will be fine but I am anti-fine. It is part of my life's purpose.

PS - are you going to drawing? I am. First time.

sloth said...

susceptible... duh.

Chicken Tenders said...

I love hurting babies.

Becky said...

That is unnecessary. Babies are truly innocent. Stop maiming them.

sloth said...

Sigh. I didn't want to ever post this, but since you brought it up:

http://www.missingangel.org/beautifulbabies.htm

warning: it is horrible and grisly and sad... but somehow absurd, too.

Mountain Man said...

HOLY MOTHER F-ING CRAP!!!!! Whoever thought this was a good idea? Must be someone on the Right, right?

The parents, this was cathartic for them? I am so upset. But thank you for bringing this to our attention. Oh. oh ohhoh oh.

Mountain Man said...

I can't look at too many. It makes me sick. OH!!!

sloth said...

sorrs, MM. It is so incredibly gut-wrenching and weird.

Mountain Man said...

I am glad? No, unusually freaked in a good and bad way to know about it.

krixfort said...

holy sh*t. truly disturbing.

krixfort said...

you got my mind off the stalker for a min.

sloth said...

SAD... so very sad and tragic, but dressing 'em up for Jesus? something very bizarre about that.

krixfort said...

slothy how far west do you go this weekend?

Mountain Man said...

I would say so Sloth. It is really a bad bad idea, I think, but if the parents feel better than I guess well I don't know what to say. The shambles of this ritual are somehow oddly reflective of our screwed up time.

Personal Anecdote #2:

My grandmother gave birth to twins in 1962, one was stillborn. My uncle and his 2 daughters were recently visiting her. She is very pissed at him for having divorced their mother, whom she loved. She said, in front of her 10 year old and 6 year old granddaughters that their father killed his brother in the womb and that's just the kind of man he is. They all started laughing. Yes. This is my stock. BTW, they are Canadian. Just saying.

sloth said...

Going to Coloraddy, Krix.

krixfort said...

that's kind of funny MM. A little.

sloth said...

WOAH mm's, that is way fcuked up!!! yikes!

krixfort said...

There's lots o Mountain Mens over that way. But none like MM.

Mountain Man said...

But it is kind of funny too. You gotta laugh in the face of tragedy. Or else the terrorists win. Or something. I may have gotten it mixed up.

Mountain Man said...

Slothy is sure to have fun in Colorado!!!! But no, the MM's there I am sure are much hairier. I am pretty sure.

sloth said...

trueness. lots o' republicans there, I gather.

conch shell said...

where are the sailor outfits?

sloth said...

yes, funny too ems, definitely good & entertaining family anecdote. Gots plenny of those.

krixfort said...

they are hairy and they wear funny hats. They drink too much Tequila. They commune with bigfoots.

goblin said...

who wants to play canasta?

conch shell said...

on the stillborns? is is too much to ask for a peppy outfit? a rocking horse photo? anyone... anyone...

sloth said...

MM, you could kick Colo. mountain "men's" ASSES!! You would CRUSH them!

Mountain Man said...

Re: Stillborns

Conch Shell, I completely agree. My thought was more along the lines of animal outfit, like they are dressing up for the long everlasting Halloween of Jesus. It would be cute to see them dressed like little piggies or kitty cats.

sloth said...

HAHA conch, most excellent gallows humor.

Mountain Man said...

Thanks for your confidence Sloth. I would krush. Yeah!!!

Goblin, Troll has gone missing. I didn't want to say anything to you so close to the holidays. But I think Troll has committed the S-word.

gothra said...

how come that website doesn't have a shopping cart?

sloth said...

maybe pose them in interesting poses, like on a pony, or maybe golfing er something...

goblin said...

you don't say. That's no goody. No goody at all. I will play some solitaire for awhile in hopes that Troll returns someday.

Mountain Man said...

Now we're getting somewhere. Put wigs on them. Blacken their eyes and lips further. Make them more Goth, definitely.

sloth said...

oh I am ashamed... headed straight for hell...

Troll said...

MM is always undermining me, the S-word he is referring to is SOLVING Rubic's Cube for the first time in my life, about which he is very jealous. Very jealous indeed.

Troll said...

You're headed to hell? Hey Goblin, I'm alive and so are you so let's play dead baby dress-up.

conch shell said...

plastic vampire teeth. please. throw a rubic's cube in there too. what the hell. or maybe a big fatty.

Big Fatty said...

I'd like to play yard games with them. Lawn bowling. Volleyball. Yeah?

goblin said...

I LOVE DOLLS!!!! That sounds like fun. I'm going to dress up my dead babies like Minutemen.

Troll said...

I'll dress up mine like Reality TV Stars. Fun!

Chimney Sweep said...

This is a somewhat dark subject but I would like to wish Mountain Man a howdy do. Sloth too.

FitRU2? said...

Chimney, hey, what up? I may be just the mate for you. I love chewing tobacco and dirty faces. I can dance too and am very reliable.

goblin said...

do you thnk they would be good for Toss Across?

sloth said...

hi chimney. at a certain point one must push beyond death into humor.

Troll said...

Good thinking. How about Kick the Can?? I mean dead baby? OH GOD that felt so wrong to write. How can I stop myself???? What will it take?

Chimney Sweep said...

I love a merry jig and although I may seem a bit soiled, I'm into good clean fun.

Chimney Sweep said...

I understand Sloth. Humor turns our world.

FitRU2? said...

Chimney, I could send you a pic of me but the only ones I have are DIR-TY. Do you still want to see them?

goblin said...

dead baby poker. stakes are high.

pirate slut said...

dirty fun much, much more fun, chim.

Chimney Sweep said...

hmmm Pirate slut, I may have to research.

Mountain Man said...

Ahh Slothy you gentle being, look what you have started. You should be somewhat proud/frightened. The two can go together, can't they? Kisses to you for starting a great new topic.

pirate slut said...

This is getting to be a sex-and-death stew, yum!

Chimney Sweep said...

welllllll, okay. but make sure they are low resolution pictures. I don't know how much I can take. I must ease myself into your dirty world.

sloth said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Mountain Man said...

If we play dead baby poker are we playing for the dead babies? How many does each person get? Can I pick the one with the last name of Whitehead to be in my pot?

FitRU2? said...

Chim, I'll send them at 48 dpi so the info is not so much. You'll get the dirty idea.

pirate slut said...

(whispered) scrub me with that sooty wire brush, chim...

fitRU2? said...

Listen Pirate Slut, you're horning in on the action I got going on with CS. I fuck you up with all kinds of dead baby smears on your face.

Chimney Sweep said...

please send them to chimneysweeper@imadirtyguy.com

I opened up a special account.

goblin said...

It's Texas Hold 'em.

pirate slut said...

fitRU2?, you are a putrid bitch. I love you.

Mountain Man said...

I am overwhelmed with all the references that are criss-crossing my brainwaves....smut, soot, stillborns....it's almost too much for me to handle.....

dead baby said...

I don't like gambling. Please do not use me for your wagering.

FitRU2? said...

Right back at you Pirate Slut. You are my kind of sick twisted whore.

dead baby said...

I am somewhat disconnected from all this.

Dead Baby Whitehead said...

I wanna be in MM's pot. Screw you Dead Baby, I wanna play games.

Chimney Sweep said...

there is enough Chimeny Sweep to go around.

Dead Baby Doe said...

I wanna play too. I like the Kicking idea. I need to wake up from my numb Jesus-induced slumber.

brain in a bat said...

I'm going to smack you dead baby.

fairy butler said...

i am crying with joy. wrong joy.

scallywag said...

argh pirate slut, where've you been hidin'. I need you to swab me deck.

Buddy said...

I used to have a 12 foot wang. Here is a rhyme for you:

Buddy Sabatini had a 12 foot weenie, it reached the lady next door.
She thought it was a snake so she hit it with a rake and now it's only 2 foot 4.

shanty town said...

welcome sloth. I will see you in Colorady. Unless you're plannin' on stayin' with city slickers down in the flatlands.

pirate slut said...

I'm thinking about putting a chimney on my pirate ship... a very tall, very DIRTY chimney...

dead baby said...

I'm not into pots either.

Jesus said...

I am dying with laughter. You are righteous and blessed, all of you.

brain in a bat said...

dead baby you just watch out I said!

pirate slut said...

really, a chubby chimney...

Dead Baby Whitehead said...

Dead Baby you are a buzzkill.

Buddy said...

Did no one like my rhyme?

I can help you build the chimney, Pirate Slut. I have needs too.

pirate slut said...

wow, 28 inches, buddy... I think it needs another whack o' the rake!

pirate slut said...

I mean, it isn't so deep as a well, or wide as a barn door, that's all I'm sayin.

Buddy said...

I hear you. I am not girthful, just long. Go ahead though, take another whack. I can re-sculpt it back into weenie shape.

krixfort said...

it's been fun hangin' out with all y'all. I gots a train to catch.

see ya friends! see ya cubes.

game developer said...

you folks have some interesting gaming ideas. This could be very big. Do you mind if I steal them?

dead baby said...

yes I mind. I am a buzzkill.

brain in a bat said...

that's it dead baby. You're outta here.

game developer said...

dead baby, I would like to sign you on for a one-year contract. My people will contact you in Jesus-land.

Corny said...

I'm pretty sure everyone posting here has used up there karma coupons for the week.

Corny said...

I'm pretty sure everyone posting here has used up their karma coupons for the week.

ah, that better.

pirate slut said...

nothing is sacred on artisticthoughts, corny. this is why we love and need it.

pd said...

pirate slut--where were you? you missed Pirates class.

I must say i did not go to the baby site out of fear...my karma remains intact, for now.

pirate slut said...

I get my abs exercised in nastier ways, PD. No pirates class needed for PS!

sloth said...

PD, you were smart not to go there. I feel soiled.

Mountain Man said...

This may sound surprising but I have this feeling that things could have gotten more horrendous today re: stillborns. I am not sure I have the guts or the support of my friends to push it further. It's just something I am thinking. I looked at more pictures. I wanted to cry, I yelled out in shock, I thought there was something beautiful and totally sick...but also I was pretty sure I could have been more offensive. We'll see. There is a Redon post in draft form and a dead baby fiesta ruminating...maybe one, maybe the other, maybe neither. But I think 2006 is all about yuck. Let's get grodier. Maybe.

I love you all!!! Pirate Slut, you whore of the open seas, Dead Baby you boring fun-killer, Chimney Sweep, you inexplicably magnetic stud.

Mountain Man said...

Sloth, here is the thing, you are inherently clean. That is part of the law of the ether. Sloth=clean, gentle, blameless. I am sure Sushi would back me up on this if he/she could.

It is I who must bear the cross of scum. I can and I will.

Drawing was fun, BTW Slothers.

And PD, thanks again for the Faust, I think it's brilliant, almost better than Can in some ways. And I love Can.

Mountain Man said...

Drawing was fun and I wished you were there. The room was infested with this one chick who I wish to smite, however. I smite her in my mind. She is fishy.

sloth said...

MM, you are the toastiest. I didn't mean to cause havoc - I just posted the link because it freaked me out so much... I had to pick at the mess in my psyche to see what was inside.

sloth said...

If I'd known you were at the shesh, MM, I would have forsook the studio & gone for sure!

sloth said...

I meant "sesh" as in "session." blah. fat fingers.