Sunday, January 08, 2006

A Fun Game

Here is a fun game that I only started to play last night with some friends just as we were leaving a dinner party:

What would be the most wrong, the most embarrassing, the most raw and inappropriate title for a solo show?

Here are my ideas:

1. My Barren Womb
2. I am Miserable
3. Please Buy My Art and/or Write About It

203 comments:

1 – 200 of 203   Newer›   Newest»
mountain man said...

What are your ideas?

fairy butler said...

gosh, that about sums it up mm. lesseee.

"incest" - or "grandaddy touched me"
"picking the wounds"

eh. these suck. this is hard.

Helpful said...

The Stillness of The Heart
Breaking Boundaries
Poignant Reflections
I Love K Fed

Baby Denim said...

Phenomenology and Tautology
Flattering Self-Portraits
Have you heard the good news?

mountain man said...

I Hate Myself
Fractures of the Soul
I Wish I Had Been A Stripper But Now I Am Too Old

fairy butler said...

Genius
I hate my parents
Conquering addiciton

Big Barb said...

Here is a title:

I Have a Yeast Infection

fairy butler said...

positive alignment is welcome. yes.

hammy said...

hearts on fire
bush sucks
coma remeniscent
cornrows and hatemail
slumber love and sexuality
wonderland and sexual activities of the stars
paris hilton had sex with me
gnostic gospels and Jesus: my interpretation
I am the way the truth and the life; I am a believer
Prophetic wanderer
I've already made it
this was brought to my attention

mountain man said...

Well done Hams!!!! I knew you'd be good at this game.

Jesus Won't Save Me
I am Blind with Desire
My thighs need squeezing for they are soft as Cheez wiz

mountain man said...

I like "Slumber Love and Sexuality"

Hams!!! ROCKIT.

hammy said...

zany contours
dog days for me
alice is my whore in wonderland

Ken said...

Child Abuse is Ok
Poo Smears
I Steal Bikes

hammy said...

pussy moments
the grimy underpinnings of armpits and universalism
untitled horse
empathy for my naval

mountain man said...

Trapped in Rabbit Hutches
Paper Clips in My Ears Hurt Me
Juice and Jam Stains on my Jeans

fairy butler said...

i cannot even escape computer to make coffee. I have a problem! L train is out today. I think i will go on another bushwick camera outing today. now that the alcohol from last night is winding its way out.

sloth said...

"Pussy Moments"!!!! HAHAHA! oh my god....

Fazz said...

Please Love Me

mountain man said...

Please Love Me and My Poo
Lap Trauma
Gazing Inward at my Problems
Trying to Get Close to Others

hammy said...

corosive parking job
wishful cartharsis and jubilation
myself and you

sloth said...

For My Dead Dad
I am Highly Sensitive
The Dance of Anger

Dirk said...

juxtaposing different things
juggling time and space
i am flying, no, i am soaring

mountain man said...

the square dance of anger
the timing and placement of me is unfortunate

hammy said...

lap trauma!!! love

drawing money
falling leaves
the earth is painstaking
anatomy of barbarism
naming my aid's related illnesses

kitten said...

I am flying, no, I am soaring. LOL

mountain man said...

corrosive parking job is great!!!

that homeless smell
my coming death via overdose

sloth said...

Embarrassing Problems
Joy
Healing Images

Big Barb said...

chinks and kikes should stay away from each other

hammy said...

aids and how to beat it
poke my wounds
symetry and justifications
detection of white heads

fairy butler said...

falling leaves....YES!

mountain man said...

Stop the Rains
Don't Stop the Rains
Don't Stop the Dance
Stop the Dance

sloth said...

Me vs. Picasso

sloth said...

After the Rain Dance

mountain man said...

Gut Trembles
Just Cause
Beer Goggles

hammy said...

tag you're it
hunting prey for kicks

mountain man said...

Me vs. You vs. Picasso

sloth said...

"LOL"

mountain man said...

Chewing Kittens in the Morning

mountain man said...

"LOL"!!!!! YES!!!!

sloth said...

"Placenta non-grata"

Gorgon said...

This Work is Made from Baby Remains

mountain man said...

Babies Kill

mountain man said...

Cunts are Magic

sloth said...

Sallie Mae is My Pimp

hammy said...

memoirs of the drug clinic
I was once hospitalized
depression
bi- polar disordered
check points for mental hygiene

hammy said...

the gospel of carol

Anonymous said...

Splats on the Sidewalk
She's Listless, She won't eat
My sagging belly gets in the way

sloth said...

God's Invitation to You

mountain man said...

Hammy, what about

Pressure Point and Chicken

remember? That was your name one time.

hammy said...

juicy drippings and paint
the studio is my coffin

fairy butler said...

cunts ARE magic

sloth said...

my cat is my child

sloth said...

The Labial Goddess

hammy said...

those are good ones. :)

Pressure pointing the starry scopes of visionary siezure

divorcing hank

hammy said...

lost in labial lubricants
libidinal listlessness
languid labial labrynths and lies

sloth said...

"Divorcing Hank"... HAHAHA! love it

mountain man said...

My Psychic Told Me This Show Will Be a Failure

sloth said...

Oh my god I am laughing too hard...!

hammy said...

my dealer is a pharasee

art jams

mountain man said...

I LOVE

Divorcing Hank!!!!

mountain man said...

My Dealer Undermines Me All the Time

Art Jams!!!

hammy said...

a psalm for dollars
angels in my breadbox

mountain man said...

ANything with Labia and lots of alliteration would be a success.

hammy said...

daddy touched me
manna in chelsea

sloth said...

Ruminations

hammy said...

you guys are cracking me up laughing out loud!

sloth said...

must... go... to... studio..........

silent sapien said...

This is kind of cheating since it's already a cd title but...

"babies pregnant with pregnant babies"

Anonymous said...

re: baad show titles
'blank slate'
'procrastination reigns'

Heart As Arena said...

You know I can't stay out of this one, this one the best ever. My entries . . .

Fuckbag Flora
I Went Down On My Dealer
Jesus Was A Capricorn (Wait. No. That's a Kris Kristofferson song.)
Minty Squaw

iidoit said...

My mother, my art, and i...

desperate housewife said...

Here's some guaranteed winners:

My Uncle the Rapist
Desperate Housewives
Tears of Jesus
Neoanything
Sadness: a Poem
Paintings from the Heart
Painting -- To Live!
I'm good too (I think)!
Most Improved 2005

krixfort said...

looking under scabs

Edna said...

Fit to Frame
Touched by the Pope: A Visual Diary
Shapes-n-Forms-n-More
I Love You, Fuck You, I'm Sorry

nabob said...

I'm sorry, Edna, but "I love you, fuck you, I'm sorry" would actaully be a great title for a show...

Mountain Man said...

I like Shapes-n-Forms-n-More but that's just me.

Torsion and Touching
Kinetic Invitations to Spirituality
Freed from Bondage of Self-Hate
Eliminate Hair Growth

And HAA Minty Squaw IS great. I want to steal it.

Big Barb said...

Ma Pussy Has Sagged to Look Like a Pair of 1984 Cheenos

hammy said...

I have a show coming up and now I'm scared about the title!! I'm serious.

what do you think?

Divorcing Hank or Art Jams?

pd said...

I missed a great time--I've been really sick. So here are mine:

Fun with Fellatio
Obesity is so over
I just saved a ton of money on my car insurance
Hope you have a heart attack and die
Bush sucks Cheney's....

hammy said...

PD, I'm really sick too. I wish we could sip chicken soup together. I am sequestered.

"obesity is so over" is hilarious

pd said...

I am so tired of chicken broth right now--ugh! It would be more fun if I had some company.

Who moved my cheese

pd said...

Ham--come over and we'll have some Jack Daniels and Oxy.

pd said...

It's not your baby
Who let the dogs out
Bladder control is overrated

sloth said...

Ha! Highlarious, PD... who let the dogs out... owie!

Mountain Man said...

Bitch Whores
Dirty Little Whores
Hammerhead in the Morning Light
Breakfast on Bald Head
Put the Bacon Down
Give me back my suds
I am drowing in fish delight
Dolphins are a symbol of Peace
My Anullment

PD - you are great! Feel better please, you too Hams.

I like Divorcing Hank personally, HP. It's weird. But now you have thought of so many that the right one will hit you like a turkey in the forehead.

the pot is full of beans
gynecology is more painful than people want to admit

sloth said...

Reading these over again revealed new faves... most excellent thread!

Mountain Man said...

My Fourth Abortion
Interplanetary Federations are a Mistake

Mickey said...

What if your juice is made of pee?

sloth said...

Wazzup, Yo?
Voiding My Soul
The Zone

Mountain Man said...

Yeah Sloth. Wazzzup Yo.

24-7
It's All Good
What up?

Pretentious German Attitudes
Rich Man's Po-Mo

Mountain Man said...

Dirty Pillows

Mountain Man said...

pursed lips
aging pets
pet loaf
sexy lady expressionism with flowers

Fred said...

The Baby Was Mine and You Killed It, Bitch

Dirk said...

Women are Inferior

sloth said...

Can't you just imagine everyone saying, "Have you seen the 'Dirty Pillows' show at MoMa? It's great!!!

Mountain Man said...

That would be great. I would like to see a show called that.

Mountain Man said...

Nice Sloth.

It hurts, It burns

sloth said...

Greenish Discharge

Pippin said...

My bisected stomach looks like a tush

sloth said...

Buy My Art So I Can Get My Teeth Whitened

Mountain Man said...

Yeah!!!

My Teeth Are So Yellow, Please Help Me!!!!!

Mountain Man said...

Based on this show, Would you imagine I had been ass-raped?

Gigi said...

Hot Dogs Are For Everyone

Anonymous said...

2 dimensions are 3 dimensions

Anonymous said...

penis warts

sloth said...

Soul Ache

sloth said...

Soul Acne

sloth said...

MM, I can't stop laughing... the ass-rape one....

Nabob said...

The Power of Art

Mountain Man said...

I love Soul Acne

How about

The Power of Love and the Power of Art working together for the first time

PS - PLEASE CHECK OUT EDWINKLEMAN.BLOGSPOT.COM for an excellent excellent pick for artist of the week.

sloth said...

My Obsession: Kiddie Porn
Crevasse
Synergy Flow
Phat Lines

sloth said...

blogger can't find it, ems...

Mountain Man said...

sorry that would be

edwardwinkleman.blogspot.com


my apologies. i too think kiddie porn, in particular baby porn would be good for art and show title.

fairy butler said...

kickass to uncle fritz on the blog mention. i just commented. scary.

His Wife said...

I loved your comment FB and UF will too. He was very touched by the post. He deserves. He works harder than anyone I have ever met. Ever. Also let it be known that he has a Mountain Man sized appetite. Makes sense.

nardlet said...

Reading the tea leaves
Zeitgeist
My hands are bleeding from painting so much

Mountain Man said...

Sloth, what about

I am the Zeitgeist??

Zeitgeist is a word that is under-used especially in the art parlance.

I am the Palimpsest, the Zeitgeist, the aging Youthquake

sloth said...

YAY Uncle Fritz!!! I am in love with his paintings.

sloth said...

MM, I like how "I am the zeitgeist" has a Beatles reference...

Mountain Man said...

Also, the Jesus reference..I am the way, etc., etc.

Fritz will be very pleased with these responses!!! He needs to feel the love.

sloth said...

Fritzy must know he is a frickin genius artist & loved by many.

sloth said...

ps MM, as per your & UF's recommendation, I've been playing with the Golden Fluid Acrylics. LOVE.

Mountain Man said...

They rule. And they have changed both of our work and for the better we both think. Love the Golden Fluids.

sloth said...

They impart a freshness that has been lacking for me.

sloth said...

still experimenting... gotta make a real painting with them still...

Nabob said...

Has this one been used already?

Who do I have to blow to get a review?

Mountain Man said...

Nabob, no I don't think that one's been used yet. But there has been plenty of references to fellatio.

Do I Have To Suck Jerry Saltz's Penis to Get a Review?

I think this is an appropriate path you are onto.

Mountain Man said...

Jerry, just for the record, I'm REAL good at BJ's. I got a blue ribbon at the County Fair.

Jerry said...

I'll put you on the list.

Mountain Man said...

WOW!!!! Thanks Jerry!!!! I am super duper excited to be on the list. Please make me, don't break me.

Jerry said...

Please don't tell anyone about what I'll be wearing, okay?

NumberOneArtist said...

Edgecutters of the Future
Future Shockers
The Shock of the Nude
History in the Making
Neo Avant Guardist
Fire in my Belly
My Paintings are my Children
I Paint with my Cock

More to come . . .

Mountain Man said...

Numberone,

I can't wait for more. Please don't make me wait too long!!!

Cocks had make their debut.

My Cock is Set on High to Emit Rapid Fire Daubs of Paint
The Cock of Humanity is My Art
My Cock Hurts From Painting So Much

You have inspired me so much. I heart you.

Victor said...

The Avant Garde is Me
The Scalliwag Artist Leader is Me
I am Shocked by Newness in the Form of Me

Anonymous said...

Body and Soul
Heart and Soul

Foul Mouthed Serb said...

Stop Slapping my Face with Your Dick All Covered in Shit from Fucking Jesus, Part II

Rose Tatoo said...

Touch of Class™

Me said...

It's All About Me

Me Too said...

Autobiographical Exhibit
A Show on Me
My Private Experiences Are Worth Sharing

Anonymous said...

Impressionism is Back

Anonymous said...

Try to Contain Your Jealousy

pd said...

Mesothilioma Sucks
Mucus Membrane
Anal Retardation
Oxy-Induced Imagery

AlsoArthur said...

Ohhhh can I play too??


Art Blog!!! (must have 3 exclamation points)

Skeet Skeet Skeet

I Am Better Than You

My Dealer Thinks I'm Great, But I'm Not Convinced

Comma, Chameleon

Turd Pavillion

Yet I Still Work In An Office

jazzer said...

The Cum Paintings

pd said...

Pay me in cash on the way out
Zit poppers

numberoneartist said...

Turd in the Punch Bowl

I'd Rather Be Golfing
On the Same Page

Heart As Arena said...

Must . . . hit . . . 200.

numberoneartist said...

Scorched Earth Policy
My Mac Made My Paintings
Kiss Me, I'm Jewish!
Special Women Artists

Earnest Hippie said...

Celestial Realm (Actual show name!)

Heart As Arena said...

HaHa!!! I read that last one as "Celestial Cream". Word up to the accidents of my mind.

Celest E. L. Reem said...

Props to Dyslexia, Yo.

pd said...

I love my mac made my paintings!!!

Phlegm: It's what's for dinner

Jerry Schmaltz Loves My Work

My Paintings Ruined My Liver

sloth said...

A Very Special Ejaculation

postmoderndebunker said...

Very good Slothy! Seems the fluids are the most popular choices.

sloth said...

Yes - the "phlegm" one is a hoot... also "my painting ruined my liver..." (I just almost typed "dinner" for "liver," which would be odd but also kind of funny)

Corny said...

Mrs. Andry is calling her show that opens in LA in two weeks
"Wimmin by Womyn who love Wymin"

Corny said...

How's my painting?
Call 1-800-EAT-SHIT

sloth said...

HAHAHA!!!! oh my god, coffee just came out of my nose...

Corny said...

my painting ruined my diner.
lol

postmoderndebunker said...

Okay...How's my painting is hilarious.

postmoderndebunker said...

Trite Made Flesh
The Artificial Intelligence show
I'm not a genius, but I play one on TV

Corny said...

Hitler Youth Art League 2006 National Juried Exhibition

Corny said...

if you kids want a "Hows my painting?" Bumpersticker, I had 500 of them made and don't know what to do with them all. (I used a few in a painting al la Kippenburger...)
write me your address and I'll pop one in the mail to you
corncub42@hotmail.com

tripe flesh said...

Trite Made Flesh!!!

1 800 EAT SHIT said...

This should be everywhere.

martin said...

Holistic Art of the Sedona Transgendered
Daddy's Little Boy
Slopes: Art of Asia
Candy Tinkles and Marigold Dreams: Art for Living Beings
From Me to You, with Love
Delta Dawn: Watercolors of a New Dawn

i think i can get more offensive, but i'm afraid.

mountain man said...

MARTIN!!!! I love yours. Especially the last one. Mentioning Dawn twice in the title is a stroke of genius. Please get more offensive.

What can be more offensive than what we have already mentioned:

pussies
cunts
bj's
cocks
green emissions
wound pickings

Please be more offensive.
I heart you!!!!

martin said...

Yes We Can!!! All Canvasses in this Show Were Stretched By Retarded Teens.

mountain man said...

I love Daddy's Little Boy too. Good stuff. Turd Pavilion from AlsoArthur is another gem.

I thought Numberoneartist said "Kill me, I'm Jewish"

HAA, I love misreading. It is so much more fun than real reading.

AlsoArthur said...

How about:

"Cyclops Kitten"

Ripped from the headlines yo!

http://news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/060109/480/nyet27501091906

mountain man said...

I Believe in the Power of Retarded Teens

My Cyclops Kitten is Actally My Furry Wang

postmoderndebunker said...

Martin--you're cracking me up.

mountain man said...

I know, Martin turns out to be a comic. I love it.

mountain man said...

Rip some more from the headlines, AA. We need context if we are going to have relevance as artists. ART CAN CHANGE THE WORLD.

martin said...

Urine My Face, I Want To Be In Your Living Room

mountain man said...

HA!!! I don't know what to say Martin. Very nice. I want to be in everyone's living room. But I want the urine out of my face for good. What to do.

Mindy said...

My Effort = Profound
I Wish I was Prettier so I Could get Photographed on Artnet
Why Are My Hopes So High?

Pig Snout said...

How about

What is the Title?

Big Barb said...

I Don't Believe in You Barbara

Sugar said...

Avoid me or Embrace me, I will tell you my deepest thoughts anyway

Anonymous said...

Sexual Organs, Responsibility and The Torah

Heart As Arena said...

Slide Down

numberoneartist said...

Self-Hating Jews: a Love Story

Heart As Arena said...

The Mother Load
My Daisy is Proud
Retrospective Afterbirth
The Corners of My Heart, The Angles of Our Love
Slitstream
Paul Virilio's Super Bowl Ring
Chinese Outback
Marcus Welby's Legacy
Empitago
Wife Swamp
Ballerina Machete
Milk Toss
Brain In A Bat
Stealth Health: You Can't See My Lungs
Get It Off Me

numberoneartist said...

Hitler: Can We Really Get Enough?

Laughing All the Way to the Bank

sloth said...

"Get it off me" HAHAHA brenty... hilarious!

krixfort said...

It Curves to the Right
Shack Nasty
Chewing on Insanity
Skankin' Through Mordor
My Taxidermied Life
The Disproof of Intelligent Design

sloth said...

"Skankin' through Mordor".... brilliant, Krix!

also LOVE "It Curves to the Right"

Mountain Man said...

Hitler: Can We Ever Get Enough? No, we really can't.

Marcus Welby's Legacy!!! Not enough people realize how pervasive it is.

It Curves to the Right - yes it does!!

dwnr said...

Maximal Pretension, Minimal Work or It's Easy To Dupe The Critics

Mountain Man said...

Thank you DW!

The Maximal/Minimal axis has always had a lot of potential for duping.

Catch My Wind
Creativity Gets Me Fired Up - See?
The Waters of My Mind are Overflowing Onto Canvas
Molding Matter
Surface Textures are Romantic
I am Richter

ArtSuperStar said...

This won't hurt abit
I promiss to put out
Just sticking the tip in
This will require lots of LUBE

lucky lucille said...

The only abortion that ever lived

AlsoArthur said...

"Just Sticking The Tip In"

Teehee! Reminds me of one of my favorite lines from Wedding Crashers.

"...It's very difficult trying to read the situation. And all the while you're just really wondering are we gonna get hopped up enough to make some bad decisions? Perhaps play a little game called "just the tip". Just for a second, just to see how it feels. Or, ouch, ouch you're on my hair."

the cuntessa said...

"On Becoming"

the cuntessa said...

(that last one is an actual show title).

Anonymous said...

"High On Life"

Julie said...

I Want to Pork My Daddy
I am High on Art and Life
Why?
Boisterous Travels in the Tributaries of the Mind's River
Fortuitous Collisions of Ideas and Materials

Gene Tierney said...

Dental Dams are Cheaper Than Herpes

Mountain Man said...

Damn straight, Gene T. Do you think someone could make a bumper sticker reminding us all about the power of dental dams?

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