Saturday, December 17, 2005

Disorders that I think I have

Both ADD and BDD. Can you believe it? Now will someone give me some heroin?

I am here in my studio and am unable to focus at the tasks at hand. Get to it MM, STOP YOUR DAWDLING YOU FOOL!!!!!!!! This public admission is meant to spur me on. Come on. Paint you damn turd. Do it!!!!! Stop checking your email and all the blogs. QUIT. Stop checking the corners for mouse poo. Stop picking your eyebrow hairs. Stop wishing you were one of those kids from Laguna Beach, the Real OC, one of those clean blonde tan children with bright futures and lots of disposable income. You can't go back, you can only go forward, accepting yourself for who you are in the moment. Forgetting your many flaws in order to make some (semi) compelling or something pictures. GET TO IT.

29 comments:

Worried said...

If you have BDD please don't turn out like 28 year old Jenny featured on Oprah who has had 28 plastic surgeries. She looks illin' like Michael Jackson. Please take care.

mountain man said...

Ok I will try not to. I will try to grant myself a forebearance.

lucky lucille said...

I have ADD, BDD and I am a DDD cup!
Ugh, what a life!

lucky lucille said...

Oh, and I'm hooked on LSD and am frightened of WMD.

Anonymous said...

I like to paint too, but my triple Ds get in the way.

hammy said...

what is bdd?
I have ADD too I think. i have a clock next to me when I work in the studio sometimes to force myself to work on one thing for a full half hour or hour before I hop onto another artwork. And there are many walks to the refrig, open up, look in. repeat.

mountain man said...

BDD is Body Dysmorphic Disorder. Believe me Hams you have it too. Trust me on that one. I know I have it. I keep seeing weiners on my back where there are none.

I am afraid of WMD I love LSD I have a C cup only though.

Lucille. Are you bawdy?

mountain man said...

I also have SAD Social Anxiety Disorder and GAD Generalized Anxiety Disorder and other things too. Probably a very long list of suspicious disorders. Disorders that only began to exist in the last 5 years. I feel lucky to live in this time.

Plus, I am a JEW!!!!! Ok, only half JEW but still. Oy.

mountain man said...

I am working. I promise. Just trips to the computer here and there. Sorry.

The power of Hashem is carrying me through the lackluster compositions.

mountain man said...

I am dying for a pickle. Not kidding.

mountain man said...

If I had a child social services would have come and gone, taking him or her away. That makes me feel sad.

mountain man said...

I am going mental.

Anonymous said...

woah.

hammy said...

Last night I dreamt I had a uni-boob. It was just one teat? (spell?) set in the middle of my chest. It looked like a medieval depiction of a very old lady. The nipple pointed downward. I was less scared than in wonder. It was a mystical occurance.

mountain man said...

That sounds beautiful Ham. I am proud of your dreaming skills. Last night my dream was that I shared a room with a small Indian woman who told me I had the ugliest thighs she had ever seen and that I should keep them covered always. I was indignant. No I said. It can't be. I told her to fuck off. We were at a ski lodge. I packed up my bags to leave and on my way out I realized she was related to Philip Guston. I felt very bad.

mountain man said...

Uni-boobs are said to be magical, according to Hashem. Hashem told me so.

hammy said...

that little indian should mind her own business. you were right to tell her off. Let your thighs run free!

Just a girl said...

I can relate to these rantings, and I wish that I could NOT....dammit. I am frozen in my studio, staring staring staring.
I Like hearing about the dreams, you were very empowered to tell the Indian woman to go to Hell. I am sure that your thighs are fine.

Just a girl said...

I can relate to these rantings, and I wish that I could NOT....dammit. I am frozen in my studio, staring staring staring.
I Like hearing about the dreams, you were very empowered to tell the Indian woman to go to Hell. I am sure that your thighs are fine.

mountain man said...

JAG I am glad you can relate, it swoons me. Tell me of your dreams next time you visit. Any drooping appendages like Ham? Any ski-centric antics?

Lucky lucille said...

I am bawdy--YES! Do you guys like CCR? I do.

Last night I dreamt that somebody loved me...

martin said...

I thought SAD was Seasonal Affective Disorder, or something. Are there two SADs? Even with it spelled out, I still don't understand what BDD is.

I think I have something, but it isn't diagnosed.

Mountain Man - I have been not painting well for the longest time. My idea was to make anti-meatballs; instead of color only black and white, instead of circles only squares.

They are all failures.

mountain man said...

BDD is when you think you are hideously deformed, Martin. I think I am. Do you think you are? Some people resort to cleansing plastic surgery to fix it. Some just sit around, in hate of themselves, trying to make paintings.

I am sorry to hear that you are having troubles in the studio. I comprehend. I feel stalled, repeating myself in a closed loop of pointless marks. Yet there is something there worth following, I think and hope.

It is always nice when you comment. When I write that it makes me feel like E.T.

mountain man said...

PS - How do you know if they are failures? What criteria do you use to judge? Maybe other people would like your anti-meatballs. Would you ever post anything you thought was a failure?

mountain man said...

Maybe right angles and no color is sad. Maybe your anti-meatballs make you sad?

mountain man said...

Just curious.

martin said...

I hate my teeth. I want a smile make-over. My nuts are gross when it is cold. Do I have the BDD?

The Anti-Meatball Project is a known failure because I have felt no sense of satisfaction, as yet. That is my criteria. Sometimes it takes time for the sense of satisfaction, also known as an S.O.S., to reach my brain - but I don't think I will be receiving an S.O.S. in this case.

mountain man said...

I definitely do not have S.O.S. in the studio either. Cheers to you. Sorry to hear about your nuts too.

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