Monday, March 21, 2005

The Shadowy Figure Whom I Hate

OK, I don't know what to do. There is someone with foul breath and a rotund figure who torments me. He owes me a lot of money. He pretends to help me. I suppose he has helped me but mostly he has just enraged me. He has some of my magic works in his possession. I want to get them back. I also want my money, but somehow, and I am not sure how, he makes it difficult for me to accomplish these tasks. He is a manipulative man. Some people find him charming and persuasive but I find him rotten.

I want to gain my own persuasive powers. Instead I am wilty like a droopy dandelion. I shrink. I smile. I say yes when I mean no. You see what I mean?

21 comments:

fairy butler said...

Once you get your goat legs attatched your confidence will improve. That I am sure of! But this shadowy figure sounds tricksy and cunning. I think he needs a spanking. Maybe Lion King would be willing to rough him up a bit?

Anonymous said...

This shadowy figure sounds ominous. If Lion King is unavailable, I know some people from Jersey who might rough this guy up. You wouldn't even have to pay them. They'd do for pleasure.

Anonymous said...

not that I'm advocating that kind of behavior. . .I'm just saying.

Anonymous said...

Yes krixfort, yes.
Do not hide from this desire.
We should hurt those who hurt us, at least on this blog, no?
This rotundity is a problem.
His girth invades and makes MM feel bad.
We love MM and want Rotund to disappear.
Thusly, and this is one of my favorite words,
Thusly, this rotund magicless f*@# must go.

MM, stealth, persistance and the patience that comes with knowing you will prevail over the worms will make you sit up straight.

Anonymous said...

I love sitting up straight.

Anonymous said...

Parabola.

Anonymous said...

Why is everyone up so late?
Don't you have day jobs?

Anonymous said...

Baby, we don't work.

Anonymous said...

Persistence, kitten, persistence.

Anonymous said...

earnest, what time zone are you in? blog, motherf%*&^$ blog.

Anonymous said...

Earnest, you're too earnest.

Anonymous said...

my boyfriend is in jail. when i go to visit him he asks me to sit up straight. once he asked me to show my tits to him. that was pure scary but very interesting. i don't think anyone saw. but i am not sure.

Anonymous said...

Hey girlfriend did you know they allow blogging in jail now? That was so cute when you showed me your sweet cookies. But painful too. I miss you.

Anonymous said...

Hi! I am a small white kitten. I was in a skiing accident some years ago. My leg is so swollen to this day.

Anonymous said...

my wheels are spinning.

Anonymous said...

Hi gas. I SAID HI GAS!!!!

Anonymous said...

Up.

Anonymous said...

hi gas!!

Anonymous said...

So, my main Man of the Mount, I have an idea for your dealings with the squeely little piglet who owes you and has some of your art held hostage.

Let the vile hogg know that for your next show, you will be working with a new medium, buckets of blood.

His blood.

The show shall be hung whenever you feel necessary, and can only be postponed by his paying you your due. Upon recept of said back payment, and return of current holdings, this new 'solo show' may be reserved for the next vilepiggydealer who scams you.

Anonymous said...

Well said Vivien. Why do you not have a blog? Your opinions are so unique and I feel they need to be shared more thoroughly. I like you. You are true.

Mountain Man said...

GP you are right. I will begin threatening tomorrow with my band of goons and my brass knuckles. Thank you kindly.