Thursday, February 24, 2005

PET UPDATE

Another enemy operation.
My second pet mouse was murdered in the closet last night.
This morning I saw it but left the carnage for my care taker to bury.
My grief was too much.

54 comments:

beth said...

I'm not picking it up. The agreement was that if I set the trap you would pick it up. Stick with the agreement.

pup tent said...

So you and MM are still together? Are you happy? Are you in couples therapy?

miracle worker said...

Can I come to your party?

mountain man said...

There is no party, freak. Just an ongoing tepid bath.

steve said...

I love knockers, boobs, tits, funbags, jugs, in soapy tepid water.

worm said...

steve that is too much. do you play by yourself at school?

steve said...

"with"
because there knockers abound.

mountain man said...

Could we please get back to my mouse? Why is beth so mean? why won't she serve me as she should? Why is she so ugly on the inside?

krixfort said...

MM, I need your advice. I want to smote someone who is jailed here at the jail I attend from 9 to 5. Do you have any advice on the best way to accomplish this?

mountain man said...

I have a third nipple by the way. It feels no pleasure unfortunately

mountain man said...

poison in drinking water. that is my suggestion. Puncture a hole in water cooler and add poison. I did and guess what? Pug was very ill for 20 days. She is now permanently greyish colored.

mountain man said...

krixfort. What are your enemie's faults?

mountain man said...

Please excuse my spelling. I accidentally drank some of the water and I haven't been right for some time.

candy said...

She just wants to smite the enemy. That means quick slap, not 20 day hospitalization!

krixfort said...

excellent advice. I need to destroy the insolent hooker that is jailed here.

PS sorry to hear about the mouse.

mountain man said...

What type of work do you do in jail Krixfort? Do you handle paper and staples?

rocko said...

A blast of fire is the best for smiting insolent hookers. Does she wash?

krixfort said...

my enemy's faults? She vexes me consistently. She knows not of which she speaks yet continues to speak. I will teach her to speak the name of ZOD. ZOD will prevent her from riding my ass.

Oh MM, Candy. . .can you not see the pain I am in. Please, MM, you are my only hope.

Tummyache said...

Your mouse is now in my closet. I am afraid.

mountain man said...

poison darts are highly effective. But one must be stealthy. Another excellent option is the fart hydralic station. I produced this in graduate school and it was super excellent! This only works if you are in separate rooms that can be connected with plastic tubing. Also needed is air compression system. Can you picture it?

krixfort said...

I handle the ethereal zeros and ones. My work has no substance and is not meaningful to most. My enemy is in charge of spreading the meaning to all that will listen.

But I know the truth.

pup tent said...

Krixfort you are suffering. It is wrong! I agree with MM. Poison in the water. And then indelible ink on her whore outfit by accident. Bad accident with markers. How can we get her to flatulate uncontrollably?

Warning Sign said...

The truth is coming out, Krixfort. It must come out like gassy vapors to smother the guilty.

krixfort said...

oh I can picture it alright. I have a vivid picture.

mountain man said...

Does she have her own office? If so another option is to brick over and spackle her door leaving no trace of her former cell.

mountain man said...

Can you implant a nanorobot in her ear that is a radio that only plays loud clangs and crying babies?

HENCHMAN said...

I have been sent by Mountain Man to do your bidding. I want to eliminate this greasy whore.

jessica said...

Why not punch in the gut?

jessica said...

Why not punch in the gut?

noxious plume said...

Zodd will not save her

krixfort said...

a nanobot radio that only plays "baby Come Back" would be good. Bricks are always good. . .for bricking and for throwing.

All these ideas are profound. . .they have brought tears to my eyes. Thank you. Thank you all.

Frank said...

You are sexy jessica, I like your direct hands on approach.

jessica said...

Frank, I'm a man.

WORLD OF HURT said...

May all the greasy whores be consumed by rabid foaming dogs and have lightning bolts rip into their heads. I know many greasy whores. I want them gone.

krixfort said...

a sexy man, though.

Frank said...

That's ok because I'm a woman.

jessica said...

Frank, are you a lesbian man?

mountain man said...

I am really in trouble because I accidentally ate something containing sawdust and am now having a blockage in my colon. HELP.

Frank said...

I am a forceful unit of womanhood.

krixfort said...

I agree with World of Hurt. We must rid our jails of greased persons.

mountain man said...

I could use a colon greasing right about now. Ouch.

mountain man said...

Sorry to be so grody.

krixfort said...

MM, do this immediately!

cover your mouth and nose and blow. You will either remove the blockage or have an anuerism.

mountain man said...

oh my god. Something strange is coming out.

krixfort said...

are you giving birth?

mountain man said...

Please visit my advise cube. I want to help. I am installing a brothy tub for your edification as well. I will scatter end of times literature like bread crumbs as a path to enlightenment.

mountain man said...

I am unloading tuber-shaped items onto the carpet.

mountain man said...

gross! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD!

gwendoline said...

I can help with this dearest Mountain.
I know expulsion spells and wizardry.
Meet me by the pond TODAY; the gnomes have left. A chill is upon us.

mountain man said...

OH MY GOD! IT WON'T STOP!

mountain man said...

The tubers are opening!!!

mountain man said...

I will meet you by the pond if you can help me with my blockage. Please please bring the meds.

mountain man said...

MUCUS!

mountain man said...

SOMETHING IS MOVING IN THE MUCUS!