I need baling out!!! I have a bad problem. There is a man who follows me around everywhere. He speaks to me in my head and won't shut up. That is my first problem. The second one is that I haev severe fears/hate/aversion of people and unfamiliar spaces.
Can you save me?
First you must have baptism in broth of tuber excrement.
HEY! Will you be serving alcohol?
Even though it sounds vile, I agree to do it. When can I do it?
I always have wine to spare. Not to mention Jack Daniels, beer and daquiris. Full service.
I can bring some tequila.
I will also need a specimen from you. Perhaps a pinky
You must bring me sandwiches for inspiration.
I don't have any pinkies. I lost them in an accident. You can have my clavicle though.
i will bring egg salad sandwiches. hold the sawdust.
THAT WILL HAVE TO DO. Are you fat? I hope so.
I need a full tub.
i am not fat but extremely pear-shaped. like Grimace from McDOnaldland.
I want the broth to overflow with gladness.
I am coming too, so that will help fill the tub. I am going to wear my founding father outfit.
The pear shape is beautiful. Thanks for your honesty.
Is there still room in the tub, pilgrims?
Yes but please wear a special outfit.
oh. how about if I dress like a capuchin monkey?
Okay. BUT I would prefer it if we all dressed as donkeys. I am aching for my donkey. She is still roped up in the empty lot. I miss her warmth.
Please let me wear my founding father outfit. I want to wear my George Washington wig.
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A blog about the New York artworld, body modification, mythical beasts, getting high, and wanting to die.