Monday, December 26, 2005

Post Porcutongue

Hi! I am sitting on a tree trunk with a larger tree trunk as my desk. I have wireless in the woods, near the mountain shack that is not my home. Actually I am in a bed with pink sheets and a dust ruffle but it's an act of will on the part of my mental state to pretend I am elseworthy - somewhere weedy.

This Christmas has been about downloading and appreciating the new musics. I am also compiling a list of resolutions for the coming year. Does anyone else do this:

1. Waste less product packaging (swear)
2. Eat less ham (lie)
3. Go to the pain arena every day
4. Appreciate music more, more varieties
5. Join Audible.com and listen to books going hither and thither in the urban cakehole
6. Drink more water and less wine, despite what Jesus says
7. Learn Bluegrass and Gypsy music on the violin (I used to play violin and it languishes in the corner, guiltily unused)
8. Rid mid-section of spare-tire type gut

What are yours?

There are forms grasping into the witless shelves of mental space: leaning proto-figural elongated monolith blobs which encroach upon and sometimes wind around each other. I CANNOT WAIT TO GET HOME AND GET BACK IN THE SHACK!!!!!!!!! We are back on the 29th. At least they like us, our families, it could be worse and they could hate us.

I am soaking my hands in pickle brine, readying myself for a meeting with my new friend. We will mime and stare at each other, attempting to move in unison, his hands dirty with gefilte nonsense and mine stinky with garlic dills. We are attempting to bring the way of the Jews to Baby Jesus.

16 comments:

Peg Leg said...

it's a shame about the water and wine. i agree, it's time not to confuse them, but still, the temptation remains.

Salt Water said...

I never done thunk you'd twang the Bluegrass. Mountain music seemed more yer speed, ol' time and down home.
Who's yer new friend? Is he friendly?

fairy butler said...

i am back at beige now. it is sadly a relief from the constant talking that has been forced upon me for 5 straight days. i cannot think or move correctly. unbalanced.

back in the farmlands driving around arthur and I talked of eating less meat this year. the cows and buffaloes are so darned cute out there in the wilds.

Mountain Man said...

My new friend is the other half of me. I am alone and only keeping company with myself. It is better this way. Despite everything.

Fairy fish are cute too. It's a slippery slope. So is cauliflower out in the wilds. Sorry. That was sarcastic. It's because I am still with family. Thoughts of death, murder and divorce are looming. I could run to the woods near the house with the winning self-kill combination and that would do it, don't you think?

I know what you mean about all the talking. I am either withdrawn or making inappropriate cracks. There is little in-between. But my nephew sure is cute, the little pudger.

hammy said...

Hi MM!
I wish you were back. I am never so happy to be back in brooklyn as I am after family time. I am chubby all over and still wolfing down chocolates.
Don't self kill! Come home instead!

Partial Payment Plan said...

Hi HAMS!!!! I miss you. How are your fists and paws? Your brisket? Clean up, you better clean up before I get back. I want that brisket nice and oily. I love you.

francesca said...

buon giorno Man della Montagna. Long time no seeing!

Jew for Baby Jesus said...

I am being tempted by crackling pig skins. I am a Jew from the northern climes. I am soiled by humanity and consigned to positive thinking in the form of Baby Jesus napkin holders.

Mountain Man said...

Francesca!!! I thought you were lost to me forever. How are your bosoms? May I still witness them? Did you fly back to Italy for the holidays? Are you Catholic?

xx,
MM

Baby Denim said...

Baby Jesus is here with me in my play pen. He keeps sucking my denim fingers and toes. He is aggressive.

fairy butler said...

is he stonewashed? pinstriped? is he hoarding the zippers that open to nowhere?

fairy butler said...

Hi HP! Did the baby jesus fly free this year to the altar? i was treated this year to a slightly out of tune organ and a little bird that popped out and chirped randomly. i kind of liked it - the bird, that is.

hammy said...

Chistmas Eve was fish stuffing topped by the baby Jesus careening into the priest in a square hat. It was sick.
We were all nauseous from incense in the end. the baby jesus was burping pork rinds.

Turkish Delight said...

jesus is more convincing with his message of love if he flies, right? this is what i have heard. i am back from an adult briss. the circumcision was performed by a rabbi with a dirty pen knife.

Ken said...

The zipper to nowhere, the stonewash which disguises a void, a lack, this is the uniform to watch for.

fairy butler said...

Ken, that is the most beautiful thing i have read in a long while.