Friday, December 30, 2005

Handlebar Hamburger




On the ride home yesterday I sampled a hamburger from a rest stop food purveyor. This hamburger felt lukewarm through the foil, still I purchased it. I opened up the foil to find an ancient burger, heatlamped beyond recognition - but my hunger ushered the dry patty to my mouth anyway. I took a bite, felt strange, looked at the inside of the grey lumpy mass. For some reason I thought I tasted handlebars. Not newfangled handlebars but the old kind, the curving kind from the 70's, initially black but now grey and tattered from overuse. I ate the entire burger and felt unique for the whole rest of the way home.

Do you not think that food criticism is in my future? I may have found a new passion.

21 comments:

lupakis said...

yay food! I wonder about bananna seats on your ten speed, gym shorts topped with a maranara sauce.

postmoderndebunker said...

I just had coffee that tasted like hot dogs.

little girl said...

i had nuts in my poo

mountain man said...

Banana seats are delicious baked in parchment, from what I understand.

And PD, whatever reason you have for not telling me up until now that you can get coffee that tastes like hot dogs is not a good enough reason. You know how much I love them.

Sexual Predator said...

Little girl, I think your mommy should take you to a doctor. I am a certified doctor. Come on over.

Jelly Quakes said...

I have poo on my nuts.

pd said...

sorry MM. I know--it's like hot dogs without the guilt. And it is easier to sneak into Film Forum.

mountain man said...

Yuck. Hey Sexual P, let it be known I do not endorse the sexual abuse of children.

little girl said...

will you fix my hee hee SP?

Stacey said...

I don't like all this sex talk.

stacey said...

JUST JOSHING!!

lupakis said...

Sandwiches are on! I'll bring the toast Jelly Quakes.

touchmefeelme said...

stacey, I have luke warm palms and a small kitten.

mountain man said...

What kind of plans do you have for this kitten? Tread lightly.

touchmefeelme said...

kitty purrrs when she is stroked.

mountain man said...

I hope you are not patting her too hard. She may bite your hand. She may pee on your bed.

Pregnant Ice Cream Container said...

Feeling the bite of internal strife is the hardest and least necessary. My unborn son makes himself suffer with no help from anyone else and I stay up nights thinking and worrying about his well-being.

seed loin said...

i just wanna have hot beef. i heart MM

krixfort said...

all this kitten talk must be making Helene hungry. Is she around?

Just a Girl said...

I am having so much fun I could Puke. Somebody throw me a life preserver before I drown in my happiness. I cannot stop sneezing, am I allergic to my kitten?

Doktor Wyrd said...

Dear Just a Girl,

You may be allergic, yes. But there are ways around this. Take two cans of darkly colored soda, poke holes in the can part before opening the snap top delightfulness and perform an enema upon yourself (that is, if you can get no one else to do it). Take three hits of acid but not before you've put out plenty of food for kitty. Sequester yourself in your home for a full week and you should be fine by next Friday. Say bye-bye to the sneezes!!! Always listen to the Doktor.

Love,

Only wanting to help you