Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Hairs Cut


FB, this reminds me of that time in grad school when you found a box in your studio, labeled "Ponytail" and it had someone's real ponytail in it. You generously gave it to me, I must still have it somewhere. Dismembered hairdos are creepy to happen upon accidentally. Stay calm, is my advice.

81 comments:

mountain man said...

I am putting my hair into ponytails so I can cut them off one by one. I think I am dying, slipping slowly into non-everything. See you later, or never again. It is time to do the gutless dance of nothingness.

mountain man said...

What happened to FB's blog??

krixfort said...

crappy blogger ate it again!! Don't worry MM, the Fairy Butler will be back.

fairy butler said...

oh my - i totally forgot about that pony tail talisman. it would make a nice blush applicator.

blogger is such a turd today. i hate today. BEIGE IS SPYING on me apparently and i have decided to wait and be fired. f them.

ham said...

FB. sorry to hear about your beige. I told that worker bitch to grow up. now I feel guilty.

pd said...

The minute I began blogging today at the beige---a total computer melt down happened! UGH...a very crappy afternoon...

fairy butler said...

Something demonic is definitely in the ether!!!

HP - she does need to grow up. good for you!!

Mountain Man said...

Today I go to the magical healer. Wish me lucks.

pd said...

good lucks MM! I hope you are fixed up soon.

hearts,
PeeeeeDeeeee

PD said...

MM--did I mention I heart you?? I will take care of you when you are sick?

McFarland said...

Dude! What's the deal? Are you sick or something? Shit--I hope it's not the herps. I got a bad case of that and shit, like, it was awful.
I've missed you man! I've been studying sooo much. I just finished reading Macbeth--woa! What a kick-ass piece of writing. Hubba, bubba, toil and trouba!

sloth said...

McFart! Long-time-no-hear-from, kiddo. You have been missed, liebling.

mcfarland said...

This school thing is no joke! I mean all this reading and stuff.
Dudes...I've missed you too. I've got a new gf, but have learned my lesson about blogging about it....

Mountain Man said...

Oh McFarty....tell us about your new girlfriend. We will keep it hush hush.

PD, thanks for the well wishes. I heart you too.

hammy said...

hello pals. My ears are hurting. The beige is murder. Today is so beautiful! I walked to my subway and nearly skipped.

Mountain Man said...

Hi. I am murder times five. It is beautiful, I can smell chicken in the air, even though it's not there. I received the pills of stoppage of embarrassing dampness today. I am luridly exciting to take them.

Gurgling Bunny said...

I am a very brave bunny. My master is very proud of me. My tummy gurgles from bunny nuggets - I am somewhat allergic to them, although I love them so. I am soft black and white bunny. I sit and stare, but have many feelings on the inside.

Chicken Tenders said...

I am invisible, travelling on the air molecules today. That is why you can smell me all around, a pleasing friendly smell that causes perk.

Anonymous said...

Listen. I hate bunnies and chicken things. I hate animals of all types in all states. Dead or alive, I don't care. All animals should be put to stinking death.

Crux said...

What is so embarrassing about dampness?

Stacey said...

Please do not perform the chicken finger rapes on me!

pd said...

Yes, it is beautiful today. So beautiful I nearly tripped on my way to the subway.

Stan Liebowitz said...

Stacey I am already raping you but you cannot even feel it. Stupid girl.

Mountain Man said...

Dampness is proof of existence, Crux. This is bad. It fits into PostModern theory too neatly. I am not happy about it.

Mountain Man said...

PD you should know all about the theories of residue and traces. Didn't you debunk these theories years ago? However they still hold sway on feeble minds such as mine.

Brigadier Squadron of Dragoons said...

It is time for the parade to begin, the march down the avenue in celebration of our daring win. We won!!! Will you skip and trip down the avenue of disaster into the next era, the era of no mechanization? It is an invisible era. Do you know what I mean?

Anonymous said...

No. You are making me queasy. I hate crowds.

hammy said...

there is vengence in the air. There are apologies which were not accepted. The tuber is next to me and I want to cut. Trim. Cut. trim. Her stirrup pants are pilled up around her bottom.

ham defender said...

whisper whisper whisper. Stop them. With poison and rice fermentation

postmoderndebunker said...

Tuber in stirrup pants deserves a slicing of the deli order.

Brigadier Squadron of Dragoons said...

I forgot to mention how miniature we are. We can fit into the stirrup pants bottom and make storms of twitchy havoc on her I am sure it is large tush.

postmoderndebunker said...

Crux--MM is right. You must read my manifesto on the topic--published in 1978. Really! That is so thirty years ago.
One must hide all evidence of the sweats so that the aliens will not perform the probe.

magical parpalegic protractor said...

Why not wrap the elastic loops around her neck for a good old-fashioned strangling?

Drndl said...

I absolutely agree with everything said here. 100%.

Stan Liebowitz said...

Stacey?????????? Wake up Stacey. You used to be so sensitive to my manipulations.

Mountain Man said...

Here is how I feel: like there is a secret formula to being a person and I don't have access to it. I want to calm down. This seems impossible.

postmoderndebunker said...

You are too much person MM (and I mean that in a non-physical sense)
I can't get to the formula either. I am calm on the outside, but not on the inside.

m&M said...

Hi MM, I melt in your mouth, not in your hands.

postmoderndebunker said...

If I can tell a good joke to get me out of an awkward situation....I'm okay.

hammy said...

This secret formula is beyond me as well. The crazy people around me are sighing heavily.
PD. Lets slice together. Rev her up!

postmoderndebunker said...

Oh Stan--you call that rape? Geez! Like, a hug from McFarland when he's horny is more like rape.

postmoderndebunker said...

Ham..it is purring right now...ready for the prosciutto-thin slices.

ham said...

yes! very sharp. Thanks, PD.
The hates are coming on strong. Slicing is the answere!

ham said...

yes! very sharp. Thanks, PD.
The hates are coming on strong. Slicing is the answere!

Paul said...

I like this blog. I am not a spammer or a pervert. I like this blog and wanted to say so. It makes me feel good, even though it can get a little strange at times. But thank you for the fun!

Mountain Man said...

Paul, you sound really sweet. I hate to tell you this though, that feeling good = pervert.

Ham can you measure tuber's ass for me? I need to know.

postmoderndebunker said...

I don't want to slice at the beige today. I want to take the slicer on the road. The Deli-Slicer-Gone Wild tour. I am content to stick to my friends' beige-people and the rats of NY, the daily subway schlubs, etc....

hammy said...

The alpha and the omega is merging into a white hot cinder. I'm slicing.

postmoderndebunker said...

Okay, I am laughin' over here. My boss stepped out for his walky.

postmoderndebunker said...

Nice blade, huh Ham? I sharpened it this morning.

hammy said...

MM, it is 2 feet. That's right. She is the one in the office with the basket of candy at her desk complaining about people eating her candy at the end of the day.

Mountain Man said...

Go grab a handful of her candy. Put one in your mouth and open your mouth - lean forward slightly, onto her desk. Let the colored spittle run down in a string onto her desk. Giggle a little. Fun????

Mountain Man said...

I would like some candy lozenges right now. I am feeling sour, what I need is sweetness.

hammy said...

that blade is sharp PD! you are most excellent!!!

postmoderndebunker said...

Ask her if she would like you to slice through her frozen Milkyway bar.

Frank said...

I want some candy too. I like fun dip. powder is power.

postmoderndebunker said...

How 'bout a Jolly Rancher MM?
I'll send him over after he is done with the cattle.

Mountain Man said...

Maybe you should start dressing exactly like her.

Paul said...

Well, I am not a pervert. I was just trying to be nice.

Mountain Man said...

I would like that PD. Do you think I can get to 3rd base with a rancher? Hot.

Mountain Man said...

Paul I love you. I am sorry.

postmoderndebunker said...

Yes--it would be so "Broke Back Mountain"

hammy said...

A cross section of her body would resemble a snickers bar. The peanut chunks are bitter organs.

Mountain Man said...

I am a bitter organ Ham. Ham. Eat her. Maybe she is a good source of iron.

Mountain Man said...

Take a picture of her cross section. She sounds suspicious.

hammy said...

The caramel is her bile.
mm, you are cracking me up! I can picture this candy spillage. I like this very much!

hammy said...

There is now a gooey blue stain in her basket. oops

Mountain Man said...

A blue stain!!!!! What could be more beautiful. Time to suckle from the wineskin, Ham. Celebrate your stain and slice maneuver.

hammy said...

The suckling has begun. There is much mumbling under breath and slamming things beside me. It is pathetic. I must focus on the slicer.

Kendra said...

I have a question. How can I tell if I'm fat?

hammer said...

HOSTILE WORK ENVIRONMENT.
Kendra, don't worry.

postmoderndebunker said...

Oh the blue stan appears with master slicing.

Mountain Man said...

Describe what they are doing to you.

Kendra said...

I just measure my ass and it's 68 inches across. Am I fat?

Mountain Man said...

Listen, I am about to drop acid in like 5 seconds. It should be really wild because I am going to go bowling by myself. Any last minute advice? What should I watch out for? But don't make me paranoid, ok???

Anonymous said...

Make sure that you bowl slowly. Dont' throw the ball at anyone inadvertently. Try not to eat either. And don't look too shifty. Wear a nice button down.

hammy said...

there are loud sighs. Slamming down of book. Muttering to self about being angry...Right next to me and directed at me. Stew in your own juices. This is pathetic behavior. And totally not justified.

krixfort said...

hey my main mountain man. . . in response to your question about how to motivate the little urchins. . .I posted a response over on my bloggy.

wbrant said...

Hey, you have a great blog here! I'm definitely going to bookmark you!

I have a macbeth act summary site/blog. It pretty much covers macbeth act summary related stuff.

Come and check it out if you get time :-)

Google Page Rank 6 said...

Want more clicks to your Adsense Ads on your Blog?

Then you have to check out my blog. I have found a FREE and Legitimate way that will increase your earnings.

Come Check us out. How to Boost Your AdSense Revenue

jefftyrome said...

Visit http://www.igotkicks.com/?ref=6 for Wholesale on Air Jordans Air Force Ones and many hiphop apparel! Starting at $64.99!!!!