Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Confoundation

I am developing my posterior muscles through repetitive squatting. I seek to become double my size in that area, out of proportion and worthy of sneering. I will krush with my rear, anyone who confounds me. Meanwhile the hair-crimping was a success and I believe it will be permanent, if only I can keep from washing my hairs ever again. This should not be a problem for I hate showering. I want to ripen like a good cheese. Many of you may find this disgusting however I am not worried, you do not have to be around me on a day-to-day basis.

Here are my temporary preoccupations:

pairs of ceramic animals
tangy taffy
scout sashes without badges
small tyrants
miniature robot police, also referred to as blue goo
Ralph Macchio

47 comments:

Sushi Blameful said...

Most good squatting brings lucky firm concluding muscles. Much round, much sun. Bring taffy, sashes, and tyrants inside. Blame Ralph Macchio.

mountain man said...

But what about the goo Sushi?

Ralph Macchio said...

Please do not blame me Sushi. I am older and wiser in the department of knowledge. I am biting apples.

Sushi Blameful said...

Must not speak of such things Mountain. Goo get stronger and much bad. Hide from goo and not utter. Stealth brings much sun.

mountain man said...

I have accidentally fouled something up. I am in a scrape as they say. Totally unavoidable of course.

mountain man said...

I mean totally avoidable. I am insane.

fairy butler said...

i love tangy taffy, however I am crushing my own spirit with a persistant squat. There are several small tyrants milling about me but they do not know my name. blogger is against me today.

PD said...

Yo, Yo, Yo, yo...
My brother once looked like Ralph Macchio--now he looks like Robbie Benson.

mountain man said...

That is a strange and unfortunate transition PD. Where is FB's blog today???

damp oar said...

I am trying to get to where FB's blog is and all I see is whiteness. I will keep forging further into the ether to find out the problem.

fairy butler said...

blooger. poops. another plant was stolen undercover of the night out of our flower boxes. What is that about? no sense to this.

MM, do the squats make you sweat? hair crimps and squats are a nice combination. you may want to consider lavendar sweats and matching sweatband.

fairy butler said...

and matching hairpick.

mountain man said...

FB you are so fashion forward. I have pale blue sweats only. Oversized of course and I jam my briefs full of TP to look XXL. I am sorry they keep stealing your flora, that is so sick.

PD said...

Yeah, where is FB's blog...did someone swipe it??
FB: what is with all this thievery? It is like a thievery Corporation around here. We must do something about it.

mountain man said...

What can you put up as a deterrent? A video camera that is not hooked up so they think they are caught on tape? Or maybe that would draw further fouling. Perhaps only very very thorny plants?

Anonymous said...

Evil trafficking is afoot. Human beings are the payload.

PD said...

Yes, how 'bout poison ivy? Plant a lot of it and stick little flags that have an exotic plant name in the soil to fool them.

mountain man said...

Very wise PD! Good rascal thinking. PD. I am tremendously burdened by the power of nothing. I am in a group relic festival that opens Friday. I must go deliver my work. And yet the world seems frightening to me today. How to propel self on subway with large package of relics. What to use as bait. Treats must await me. Taffy? Sody Pop? Sausages?

fairy butler said...

ha, that's a good one. i think it is kids. we live across from a junior high and they were out en masse last night. although at midnight everything was intact. There was a stack of plastic hubcaps in front of our car though, not from our car. ???

I think I should plant a snapping bear trap in the soil. Or wrap invisible razor wize around the boxes maybe. I like the Poison Ivy idea PD.

My blog is restored!! I fixey.

PD said...

MM: let me know about the relic showsy. Good luck making your way around the subterranean rat-maze. Guard the relics with your life.

fairy butler said...

for the record, in college i went to a halloween costume party as a gym teacher. I stuffed several throw pillows into loose grey sweatpants and wore a white tucked in turtleneck and headband with white reboks. It was very much like your look today MM. I could hardly fit in a car. It is important to be svelte on top to emphasize the behind. This look would be fun on the subway, trying to find a seat.

mountain man said...

FB! We should all go out in public like this one day! How funny would that be? All ugly and bottom heavy? I like. I wish I could see a picture of you in your outfit.

Crotchgoblin said...

I am not far from you. Do not forget about me.

PD said...

I would like to do this. We must also wear wristbands.

hammy said...

STILL SICk. 50 floor infectation not completed. Hi pals!

Anonymous said...

I think you are bottomheavy enough Mountain Tub.

crab ass said...

someone pop the blister on my ass

fairy butler said...

This might be a good video project. Riding the subway, eating icecream, dancing, talking on the phone. Yes.

fairy butler said...

HP, you may need the doctor pills. This is going on for too long! But, carry on with the infectation!!

Corny said...

capacious hind-quaters can also be used as shelving units, holding cups of coffee, hairpics, framed photos from Tiger Beat magazine, I hope someday you will be able to use yours to shelf your own bric-a-brac

crab ass said...

corny i like your style, functional , insightful and arousing

PD said...

HP: so sorry you are still illin'--you must infect everyone. You need a microwave disperser so that your germs evaporate into the water supply. It is a quick way to spread the disease!! Do you have one of these?? If not, The Sharper Image can deliver...

mountain man said...

Crab Ass you sound awful beyond comprehension. Stop trying to come onto Corny, she is too good for you.

My bottom cannot ever be heavy enough. I am serious about this dress up in public shenanigan. Video cameras are welcome. Ice cream stains on shirts are a must.

Feel better hammy. It took 8 days for mine to finally go away. Now Uncle Fritz has it. What is this heinousness?

mountain man said...

I am trying to mold my Duchess (the new name for my ass) into a shelf shape. It is malleable, my flesh down there. I hope to hold my bric-a-brac items within its festering confines.

crab ass said...

sorry corny, didn't realize you are a girl

krixfort said...

you guys are making me laugh out loud. but I am not snorting.

krixfort said...

get well soon HP.

mountain man said...

Some day you we will get you snorting Krixie. I vow such.

Anonymous said...

Good night dearies.

Anonymous said...

dream the dreams of kings and queens
live the lives of love...

Sugar high said...

Kings and Queens are morsels of delight on the face of decks. I can't sleep.

Anonymous said...

live then.

Sugar high said...

I am calming down. I am living through blogs and bad television. I will try the nighty nights. Thank you.

Anonymous said...

TV is so good. Especially shampoo commercials. Especially when they run their fingers through their hairs. So soft, so shiny, so pretty. I run my fingers through my own hairs and they get caught and snagged. It's ok.

alena said...

Hey, I have enjoyed...your blog is informative - even entertaining.

I have a halloween sites. They pretty much covers costumes and masks related stuff.

Thanks again and I'll be sure to bookmark you.

Anonymous said...

I've been finding almost all of my sushi minneapolis here

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