Tuesday, May 31, 2005

A Poisonous Nit Infestation

What happens is that very quickly my house is infested with nits and gnats and bumbles and earwigs. Sadly they are poisonous and bite repeatedly. They open all my cupboards, remove the contents and eat everything. They leave remnants of dirt and chow, chump behavior over every surface area. No harm is meant, they are just obeying their nature.

They are unlike the sirs with the jelly center. They are pestilence in the most intense formation - your friend and yet your foe. You feel for them, you experience emotion in relation to them, their centers are faceted with crystalline loveliness. It's the residue of their behavior that you hate, that you cannot stand. The infernal rat-tat-tats that are neverending.

Pus on you, pestilence. May you all be consumed by the pus of inequity.

32 comments:

Alice said...

This is troubling, as my ktichen has lately been succumbing to the daft nature of the nit-pack. They grumble and stumble, leaving poops behind them, and they will not heel.

Pestilence Attack said...

The thing about us is that we love you. We want to bury you in moth sauce and bite your arms until they grown pink and tender and begin the blood cycle. Please initiate now.

piteous plump said...

I fear for you, MM. The nits must be quarantined and garnished with celery. this is the way of the insect world of wonder.

enemy squad said...

Can I tell you all about what I hate and what continues to follow me everywhere I go?
I hate the listers, those who list every accomplishment from the last 2 years at the slightest provocation. Do not say hi to them. they will begin listing.

curious said...

That sucks. Do they touch you as they list?

mountain man said...

Fearful, enemy squad, am i of the listers and the nits.

enemy squad said...

Yes they do. they pick at me as nits in MM's apartment. They throw off bad energy. There is no harm intended here. just folly and following their nature like the infestors. It hurts inside me.

enemy squad said...

NEVER. The listers are from recent studies. They are piteous. You are not a lister.

enemy squad said...

The listers hate me and wish for my humiliation. You, MM, are not of them.

horror teller said...

One for instance picked dandruff out of my hair today as he was listing. I was frightened.

coin collector said...

I wanna jump in and eat the residuals of the nits. We eat skin.

bob said...

I just got some Spam-mail asking if I wanted "outright sex" and I realixed quite quickly how badly I wanted "in-wrong" sex. Am I bad, Mounatin Man?

Anonymous said...

I think you mean Enron sex, right? You wanna sir, right?

Anonymous said...

Wallow with the insects or by some eco-Raid, it's minty.

Anonymous said...

AJ and you are lovers. This you call free speach? This is smut. You are the enemy of this country. you are like George Bush because you hate people just because they are proud of themselves.

tang said...

I can Deep Throat.
Doesn't that count for anything?

http://news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/ap/20050601/ap_on_go_pr_wh/deep_throat_scene_1


Family and friends did what?

fairy butler said...

Listers are the most heinous - worse than nits. they must be subdued. i would like to try yawning when the listing begins, but have not had the courage as of yet. maybe i will have a chance in the upcoming days?

MM, this kitchen infestation migration is most unpleasant sounding. Please take care and do not feel afraid to end nit/gnat lives.

sloth said...

These little beasties will chew until the center no longer holds, MM; be sure to keep them away from the toast towers!

Treat your bites with poultices, and change the dressings twice a day.

That last bit was a message from Wandee.

fairy butler said...

Wandee is most wise.

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