Wednesday, May 04, 2005

A New Friend

My meeting with the rotund one yesterday (a meeting where I retrieved several items back from his control and received a check that as of yet cannot be cashed) was long and harrowing but all in all somewhat of a success. However it drove me to drinking at Ned's late into the night and I met a pretty lady named Chili Pepper who spoke to me with her pointy ears. It was some sort of combo of sign language and ear semaphore. I am not sure what she said, but she seemed intuitive and carefree.

.

I am learning and absorbing many things today.

113 comments:

Siegfried said...

wow, she is an impressive beast! I can image her next to a pyramid of lights

postmoderndebunker said...

Okay MM, that was me in my new workout tard. (nothing to do with having a whiff of the tard, mind you...) I wanted to do a little fantasy role-playing. You like?

fairy butler said...

i see her dancing on the tippity top of the pyramid, steel. many elbows and kicks with mirrors. Her pelt is most slick. You're a lucky man MM.

I heard from the rat army that the rotund one is on their "most wanted" list. The infestation will begin shortly. I am glad you were able to retrive your things from his foul clutches. when will the check waiting period be over? Shall my fairy butler assume the clutched-knuckle crouch?

I know of another wizard who is passive-aggressively fouling but I am choosing to ignore. It is best to pretend that we are in charge, MM, always.

Pasqual said...

Whatta ya want me to do? I am at your service Mr. Man. I will take this rotund fella and string him up by a testicular thread, if need be.

blister said...

yes MM, tell us where he sleeps, we can string piano wires down his dark hallway at night

siegfried said...

here kitty kitty...

postmoderndebunker said...

I prefer a deli slicer--it has never failed me in the past.

blister said...

I'm looking at your friend again. i love a smooth pussy, just look at that coat!

postmoderndebunker said...

Don't let the spandex fool you...it can smooth out all the bumps!

Crux said...

Can I get some spandex for my bumpy penis?

erectus gigantus said...

MAYBE THAT BUMP IS YOUR PENIS

mountain man said...

Fairy, you are truly fair today. Her pelt was very slick. I am to meet this CP (PD, I do not believe it was you, unless you were on stilts you sly one) at the portion control center later and I will ask her if she kicks and completes angular transgressions with mirrors. Good idea.

I think the clutched knuckle crouch must be assumed by your butler. The check waiting period is mysterious. But I am ready to fight with stiff knife hands.

postmoderndebunker said...

I was wearing my pegs MM. I was hightening.

mountain man said...

I met with a lovely witch last night who seemed interested in my items. We will see. She needs to be sure I have banished the fouling rotund wizard before she pursues any further connections.

mountain man said...

Ahhh, PD! What a talent you are. I had sorely underestimated your capacity for height achievements. You are a folly in the woods.

fairy butler said...

Yes to the new witch. Goodness and levity plus petals floating in the dancing wind it is. The soil is rich and ready.

fahrrses said...

I can smell the spandex.

Spandau Ballet said...

We love spandex!!

postmoderndebunker said...

I hope she is a good witch, MM.

crux said...

i'd like to taste her witches brew

crux said...

i'd like to taste her witches brew

Anonymous said...

Hi there. I love rotundity.

kitty litter said...

yes, rotund is prrrrrrrrrrrfect

gwendoline said...

Mountainous,
I saw you, I am sure, with this slick and pretty lady, last night by Dark Pond. Her cover is unique; attention grabbing, yet mysterious, blameless and keen. Oh, how she prances and darts; I know this slither. I am envious, as were all who saw. Eyes, beedy little red dots, were everywhere in the darkness, trying desperately to decipher. But the code was thick and disorienting. I think the cherub knows, but who can understand him?

krixfort said...

I missed this vixen MM. I was sitting at the bar. . .why didn't you introduce us? Just because I was collecting earwax doesn't mean that I couldn't be bothered. I'm sure anyone who communicates with her ears would understand that.

I'm a bit peeved about this.

sloth said...

Sloth is frightened by this creature with no mouth. How does it eat? Are it's eyes like small mouths?

mountain man said...

Dear Krix, I hate peeving you so I am justly truly sorry about this. You seemed to be having fun on your own and the ears mesmerized me and made me lose my manners. I am no good with manners very much of the time anyway.

Sloth you are interesting. I like sloth and sloths. I am lackluster, feckless and hapless like a sloth. Kisses!!!

gwendoline said...

Sloth
I believe I have seen you around Dark Pond. You just lurk and twiddle. Your shavings are neatly piled though, and all the Sprites respect you. Could you please open your world to the uninitiated? I cannot rejoin in LogWorld, and I wish desperately to dance there.

GAS said...

Envy.

Pan said...

I have things to think about, follow me...
Shhhhhhhhhhh.........

mountain man said...

I am absolutely miserable and my head is killing me. It hurts so bad and I don't know how to fix. Maybe hammers will provide distraction. It ouches.

***** said...

There is a pounding all around me, pipes are bursting and the pain seems unbearable...except for my pounding memories of Chili Pepper at Ned's...

Dancer of Asymmetry said...

I am wondering about the creatures and their viability for nature and sylphic causes. It is frightening to me.

sloth said...

MM, can you curl up in your Log and sleep? This is the best way to fix a furry head.

mountain man said...

Thank you Sloth, I will try it. In the meantime I am glowering on the job, which is not helpful to the furrows and protrusions of the face.

Pudge said...

I am leaving mortality for a better way that includes patterning of the fern as an alternative to hopscotch. The tendrils cause uniqueness to flourish.

quentin said...

Pudge that is a good idea. I want to excavate and arrive elsewhere myself. Hiding is good. Pain is unhelpful, flagging desires are coming, wishes for difference are penetrating me.

mountain man said...

OUCH!!!

sloth said...

Pudge, you are right. Fern fronds are a force for good.

mountain man said...

Sloth you are full of tumult and sweetness. Say more.

Preston said...

Penetration is overrated.
I like the orals.

Crux said...

I smell like puss. I can't figure it out.

slippage said...

I feel upended and desire an elixir to soothe my throbbing liver and failing eyesight. Gwendoline, bring the Sprites....PLEASE.

Pan said...

I can fly...

sloth said...

Sloth has heard many good things about the Sprites, but has never seen one.

Bubble of Nothing said...

I desire elixir too. I am in need of soothing. It is jagged on my skin garden.

mountain man said...

The ache is beginning to subside. I am still clamped though. It is a blue plastic clamp now instead of a grey metal clamp. I am ok. I am ok.

gwendoline said...

Sprites are felt, not seen, Sloth. They come to you when you need them most and they convey the most healing elixirs. Meet us by Dark Pond next moon and we shall dance together, if you are not too weary.

sloth said...

Will I feel bubbles in my nose? (Please, please say yes!)

lupus said...

i like sprites that sparkle, since i find they can lead astray, might as well get a light show. Also I can make sure my fly isn't down.

Sheep Protector said...

I am still out in the goon docks, protecting my sheep. No one has spoken to me for months.

mountain man said...

Sloth you are the cutest. Bubbles in your nose will come, all you have to do is breathe in the water. Be prepared for a burning sensation. Right Gwendoline? I think so, right?

sloth said...

Don't grumble, Sheepie. You have the sheep to talk to, don't you?

mountain man said...

LUPUS!!!! WHERE FOR ART THOU HAVE YOU BEEN?????? I thought you died.

Sheep Protector said...

I deeply didn't mean to grumble. I am lonely. The sheep speak only to themselves and resent me for what I try to do for them. They don't want my protection and yet without me, they get zapped and blitz away into the non-entity, i.e. they die.

Necklace of Fire said...

Lupus I have been hoping you might come back! I ran out of potato salad but maybe I can make a batch and have it all ready and slighty room temperature by tomorrow. Are you fine?

lupus said...

i lost my key, my flash light my belt and my pants fell down. I'm still can't get in my hut, but I thought I would stop in to show my love of mountain man.

sloth said...

Sloth understands, Sheeps. The weight of responsibility can lead to resentment. Soon you start dreaming of lamb-chops.

mountain man said...

Sheepie you sound sad. Have you tried candy remedies?

Lupus said...

necklace I've been eating vacume packed potato salad for months, please might I charm you for a fresh batch? I also have some dirt under my fingernails to bargain with.

Sheep Protector said...

I will never eat a lamb chop, no offense to anyone who will. I could not and would not eat a sheep. However, I do like boiled chicken.

Necklace of Fire said...

Lupus that sounds truly delightful. Only, I must make one request which is that you eliminate pants from your life from now on. Since you live in a hut, what need could you have for a lower half covering? Keep it loose, is my thinking. I will have a new batch of tater salad ready for the eating.

sugar high said...

I am ready to come help anyone who needs it.

sloth said...

Sloth only eats leaves, and the occasional ant, if it's on the leaf by accident. Candy remedies sound good. Maybe Necklace has a an elastic of Red-Hots, thus the fire?

Lupus said...

yes necklace you have a point, you are bright! I actually live more in a cave shaped like a log, light on either end. Since back is front, there really is no need to determine bottom by wearing pants. My mind feels clear already! and that tatar is tanging my taste buds

solar said...

i like to bend over and look at my red eye sometimes in the mirror.

sloth said...

What! You live in a Log too?? Joyousness!

Stacey said...

I am sucking on a lemonhead now.

I think it is Evan Dando.

Preston said...

I was sucking on a lemonhead too, AND a red hot.

Lupus said...

well it is log loke, not as natural though. Sloth, you dwell in logs?

solar said...

i put a red hot in my pink eye

sloth said...

Sloth lives in a lovely, lovely Log. Dark and moist.

smashed said...

gorod iythik i drunk to muvch

sloth said...

Solar, did it burn?

Lupus said...

how lovely sloth! With all that moisture you must have many colonies growing there.

mountain man said...

Ouch solar, but at the same time, what fun. I am going to go to the candy dispenser and try some fun with red hots. Burny sensation, nice like ginger in the tush. They used to put ginger in horse's bums and electric eels too, to get them moving. They were called feagues. I want a red hot feague.

sloth said...

Yes, many tiny friends live in Log.

Necklace of Fire said...

I would like to visit both Sloth and Lupus in their Logs. If it is moist, then as snacks, may I suggest macaroni and ale with cups of chocolate frosting? I will deliver these snacks in my bra and arrive at any time you desire. I like to help!

sloth said...

Eels have bums?

mountain man said...

Are the tiny friends mushroom-like? Or do they have small eyes and speak to you? Are they quick-witted and do they dash around, doing your bidding? Oh I am dying to know.

mountain man said...

No Slothy, I meant that the electric eels would go in the horse's bums too, like the ginger. You silly. But I wonder, they must have bums, the eels. And what would be small enough and spicy enough to go in their bums in order to get them moving. Very interesting.

solar said...

it did burn burn my pink eye, it tapped it with moisturizer by looking in the mirror

Frass said...

I live on the mossy forest bottoms. I am a product of untimeliness (sorry to be so vague). I am forthright in my desire to offspring.

mountain man said...

I see.

Tummyache said...

It is hard. I am liquefying, partial dehydration.

sloth said...

Every being in the Log has big pupils, to see in the inky Logness. Besides that, the friends are each unique, though there are too many to count.

Cookie Lerman said...

What are you folks speaking of here? You do not live in logs, you are merely mentally handicapped. You should go on the meds.

Lupus said...

oh necklace you have pitch perfect taste! i am now officially craving ale and macaroni. we can use my pants as a table cloth and eat with our hands

mountain man said...

Maybe sometime if you can't sleep you can count all your log friends. Sloth. Tell me more of your life.

fraggle rock said...

cookie i will tear your flesh with my fish infected claws and blow dry your vocal chords to a crisp

Necklace of Fire said...

Yes, let's eat with our scoop hands and try to keep our forearms at a constant 90 degree angle. It will be violently haha. I have so many food gifts I have been saving for you Lupus.

Cookie Lerman said...

What is a fish infection? What are you talking about you monstrous badly behaved puff?

sloth said...

Please don't forget the chocolate frosting!

fraggle rock said...

hold on cookie i'm shitting your name on the concrete

Necklace of Fire said...

Sloth I will not forget it. I deeply swear to you.

Lupus said...

neckalce i'm convivned we could fashion a flying machine of sorts from your bra and my pants.

Cookie Lerman said...

Fraggle you are disgusting. Please wear a diaper if you cannot control your shit fits. We don't live in a brown world.

Necklace of Fire said...

Yes Lupus. Perhaps we can attach them to a log with sticks and make a sail-log. We can float downstream to the less poisonous end and eat as we float along, the three of us. Nice. Perhaps we need to invite Krixfort. I think we should.

fraggle rock said...

its a nice dirah trail pelling out cookie lerman, it stinks and leaves twigs and bubble gum are getting caught in it

Cookie Lerman said...

I am placing you under citizen's arrest Fraggle. You are headed to the splicer.

pink eye said...

ooooooooh fraggle, can i see your pink eye? keep pushing!

solar said...

ohhh please me to, i admire them so! so pink, so fleshy and winky

Lupus said...

yes were is krixfort?

Poison Anus said...

There is none more beautiful than me with transparent green flecks on the pinkest wrinkle. I eat things. I am backwards on my master. He pushes what I eat out his mouth every morning.

Lupus said...

poison anus, WOW! do you have a napkin on your lap?

Poison Anus said...

I do not need a napkin, I am that clean.

Lupus said...

Poison you ar ean impressive creature! I need a garder to hold my jaw inplace when you speak. how old were you when you learned the ways of your master?

Poison Anus said...

Thank you for asking Lupus, not so many are curious about the ways of the poison anus. I was 12 when I learned how to invert my master's ingestion habits. He is much happier to consume his rations from the back end. It leaves him free to speak while he eats without offending anyone.

Chewed Up Baby said...

That is absolutely disgusting!!! Eating from his poison anus!!! Your master, what is his name so I may shun him??? HORRIFYING!!!!!

Lupus said...

well i am fascinated poison anus you are truly an observant creature. It is time for me to look for my keys again. love to all

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