The pontoons are sending out distress signals as they tumult across the foaming crests. I am disobeying their call and not answering their call. They are unmanned pontoons, they are guided by invisible evilbots from above with callous intentions to get me to drown.
Meanwhile, I am building a delightful wood shed in my living room. I have many beautiful planks of lightly stained wood, the grain is mesmerizing, I believe I see little men tumbling along sloping paths. I believe I see one eye after one eye. This shed will be the secret place of trowels, shovels, hoes and the like. It will be the site of various corporeal punishments that I will delight in enacting, alone or with another or two others, depending on how large they are.
I am in like with my shed. One day I hope to be in love.
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Yes, MM. Step into the shed. There is much that you love in here. Darkness, a blanket in case you get nervous, all the drugs and drink you want, and many many tools. Do not be afraid. It is time to give you the gnashes and bashes.
Sheds are miraculous places. Hideouts, play areas, secret sensual communes. The structure is rudimentary and evident and allows for all sorts of mental impositions and imaginings.
I agree. I am in tune with the importance of shed-only diets. I want to impose myself into the four corners and splay out.
Containment, yes.
Poignant and mysterious in terms of the darkness. Maybe a little light from a lantern. Just enough to see pale glow and glisten. To prepare for the unguents and the knife points.
MM, you are right to ignore the call of the drone pontoons. They are like mechanistic sirens, calling a doom-song.
Perhaps enacting the punishments will help you to bond with the shed and finally to love the shed and the implements therein.
Thank you Sloth! Yes!!! I am on my way to loving the shed. I didn't want to rush in to my shed passsion. I wanted to take it slow, as they say in high school.
Sloth can come visit in the shed if Sloth would like. I will pad it and decorate it with Sloth things. The Shed Punisher does not have to be there if Sloth prefers. I will hang pictures? Of girls peeing?
High school is the perfect time for shed passion.. Your love has a boundary and raw hewn structure. It is nice to sit in a shed and wonder.
I am interested in shedding my clothes
At first when I read that, Hoe, I thought you said shit in a shed. Which would not be such a good idea. But I agree with you. High School romance is the romance of hickeys in the hallway and pretending that you will one day be together, all the while knowing in 6 months it will all be over. Sadly such is less possible as an adult. Is this what leads to the runaway scenario?
Cameron, are there many mushrooms in your folds?
Can I be in your shed too? Hanging near the trowel?
Yes scissors. You may come.
MM, leave the shed exactly as you like it. Sloth will learn moer about the M-squared and the secret pursuits that make for a dark, gooey core.
Yes, chantarelle, porcini, portobello, oyster, and the poisonous variety down below.
Sheds are good for growing mushrooms, too. Dark and moist.
The dark gooey core is the core I am after. It sounds like caramel, only darker, more viscous. Goodly many mushrooms can grow but not in my shed for I wish it to be clean to the point of sterility. It must be hospital level clean, to avoid the bacterias that might come into the saucy bashes and cuts. Please do not be afraid of them. They are practically cartoon wounds, the severity is assessed in advance and dole out only in relation to the subjects wants.
McFarland. I am very impressed with your heavy book buying. However, I would like to know why you are always bothering these older folks. You are too young, too fragile. You are always thrashing about and trying to get attention. I am worried that you will keep injuring yourself both internally and externally.
Hospital level clean is not something to aspire to.
McFarland, are you real? Or a very well-concocted character?
Oh McFarland. You are so dear.
Hospital level clean may not be the cleanest you are right. I mean very clean.
McFarland, please open your bum so that I may enter with my morning steak.
Sounds good, MM. Sloth trusts. Will there be dismemberments?
I want to wax your bum hairs. I want to violate you with rare meats.
There may be dismemberments but only if the subject clearly states this is his/her/its wants. We will have prosthetics and orthotics on hand to assist with motility, post-procedure.
I am looking into buying an iontophoresis unit to pass low-level electric currents transdermally to assist in
1. control of body odor
2. production of sweat to gather and test for birth defect
Good, MM. Will Sushi Blameful be there to practice the Japanese art of the slices and dices?
I will summon my dearest dear Sushi Blameful and ask her to assist with the incantatory methods of East meets West medicine. There may be sauces on hand to dip the chicken fingers.
McFarland, you seem too true to be true.
McFarland, if you are playing in someone else's yard then you must succumb to the rules of their yard. That means opening up to meat rapes and being nuts. Go forth, my young nephew and learn the ways of the meat yard.
I believe McFarland is a friend in disguise. I believe McFarland is adding complexity to this discussion through opposition. It is welcome, if annoying.
Yes McFarland. I am eager to perpetrate on you. First is the painful waxing. You may need a rum and coke for this.
MM you may be right about McFarland. He is peppy and wants to play. Despite his constant rejection. It is cute.
McFarland--do you watch the O.C.?
Even if you are not a friend McFartypants, you are still fun and punishable by the laws of this meat yard.
McFarland were you born in 1986 or 1987? Those were my braces years.
Sometimes pesks can become like pets.
By the way, sloth listened to Spoon and now loves Spoon. Sloth did not mean to recommend old, musty books to McFarland. Sloth blew the disguise with that one - forgot to click "Other."
I don't know about disguises.
McFarland, it is true you are much better than that Finnish freak from a while back.
I believe we ass-assinated him.
Hey Mountain Man--I know Larry G. is gone.
McFarland--this is not a dorm...get out, unless you want to experience the rapes.
The visitor I liked is one called Stk. There is a picture of an alien next to him. He hasn't been back though but I liked his blog. He talked about spiders laying eggs behind his eyes. It was sad and magicful.
What about Baptist Rollerblader?
The pontoons are negative purpose and bad. It is good to ignore, please stay ignore.
Oh PD the splinters will get caught in your three teeth adn gums.
McFarland is seeping onto the cement. He is diseased and pointless. He is locatable at this time, in fact he is two units, moving towards a shrine of dumb and deafness. They think but know nothing.
Zowie! You're right MM, I am all splintered up. I have four teeth--thank you very much.
PD you are a fun in the sun babe of toytime even with 4 teeth even with no teeth, very appealing, come with me to the fork in the road and eat velour sandwiches. I am too much right now. I have to take a something in the toilet bowl and I can't I just can't get it to come out. Sorry for this nauseating news.
How about the salami juice? Doesn't that help?
MM! let's grow some schwag in yer shed. you in? Let's do some jackknife and perform some blunt rapelets. Whazzup??!!
Sheds always remind me of Cold Comfort Farm and the nastiness that always seems to happen in them in bad Victorian novels...please tell me you have plans like that for your shed MM.
I want schwag in my shed, but only in designated zones. Jackknife is a good position to get into, I will assume it now, I can channel stomach discomfort and push out the friendly faces in my tush.
Yes, Edward, sexual nastiness is in my plan. I will alternate role reversals between pain and pleasure, dismemberment and insertion routines.
actually, I meant bad Victorian novels, not sexual nastiness...I can see that in any East Village gay bar, I don't need to track off to wilds of your mountain top living room ;=)
I'm kidding...of course I meant sexual nastiness...I'd trudge across the tundra for a peek at your long underwear MM.
I need you to explain more then. I was thinking of surgery and probing into the orifices of despair and delight. Please tell me about the bad Victorians. I was not thinking sex club, per se, but unauthorized surgical procedures and acrobatic fierceness. Specificity is so important in these trying times.
My long underwear is tattered and torn, like my inner child. I like you Edward. Please visit my shed and enact whatever routines you wish. You may use scissors or not, you may exalt transdermal electric currents or not. You may wear a clown suit or whatever and what not.
schwag zone
krunk zone
sexay meats zone
cuttin' zone
implements zone
formica/sterilin' zone
secret pit/trap door
sompum like that?
YES Fabeebles. I love your list, it is wildly porno-culinatious. You are all over the place, in it and out of it, through the town and underground. I wish I could talk like you, but I am mired in my own anachronistic tongue.
acrobatonatamaton jizzy jazz
flippin the switch
electrocize and exercise
bring em out
the pee pee bottles
we got some brewin to do
The dining comes through cutting and biting into. Fabeebles is wise. MM is green but salad-like, as in the salad days, as in the first days.
I like you too MM, but the bambino has placed limits on my surgical escapades these days...highly unprogressive of him, I know, but he has photos of me that, you know, should probably NOT be released to the Post.
I have a secret stash of peepee bottles, Fabeebles. I didn't know what to use them for until now. Let's mix up that piss.
I don't know, Edward, maybe Bambino can come too? Are you sure you don't need a visit to the corporeal excavation site?
Boil in bag rice is suitable spot for pee.
you the man, MM! Edward, you in? I'll get us some Turkish grunky krunk - a couple sips and that yellow stuff iz flowin' and a sprayin. yes, mm, we can set up a foil backsplash, a mirrored reflection pool to hypnotize the smmallers.
I am not sure about the pee pee talk. It is very disgusting. I never pee until I am sleeping.
corporeal excavation does always seem to clear my head...hmm...let me consult with the ex-Soviet one.
Good idea! I want to be hyptonized to in the foil reflection. Infection of the succubus is coming to the shed. It is good rich times.
Please tell Bambino that I heart him.
will do...bambino hearts you too MM...have a great MD weekend
You too, my gimlets. I must go excavate for a while.
my head is on fire.
I am interested in this new language you are making here. I want to participate but am not sure what to say.
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