Friday, April 01, 2005

TRY

to act normal. I have on some excellent pants and I want to make friends with my enemies from the men's bathroom real bad.

57 comments:

mountain man said...

There is a giant fireball coming towards me. I am tucking in my shirt and I forgot to wear deoderant. It is all so bad!

Oprah Winfrey said...

You musn't become a slave to your attackers. Do not be taken in by their luncheon meat ways. The fireball is trying to save you from them.

Piss Poor said...

MM go into the light. This is a silly post. Couldn't you have made it a little longer? I am being mean. Sorry.

Stedman said...

Oprah, I wish you would come back to me. I have been stuffing myself with mallomars ever since you dumped me. I am going to have a can of beer now.

Terri Schiavo said...

Me and Janice and Jacques are having a great time up here. I am so glad I finally died. We are playing penochle.

Borat said...

My wife, she died. Is she there with you?

Terri Schiavo said...

What does she look like Borat? There are so many dead wives up here.

Borat said...

She hada brown hair and a nice **.

Oh, Oh, Oh, said...

Sted. we've been through this a zillion times....I love my best friend Gail now. But I will give you the numbers of my personal chef and trainer.

Terri Schiavo said...

I will keep an eye out for her and tell her you said "hey". I will be on the look out for an especially nice **.

Stedman said...

C'mon Oh!! You need me, you fat squatter.

Borat said...

Very niiiice. The afterlife, is it like New Jersey?

Terri Schiavo said...

Actually it is not unlike parts of New Jersey. It may be more like Delaware. Very nonthreatening.

Oh! Oh! Oh! said...

Dude, what can I say, I carried your sorry unsuccessful fat ass for all those years. I gave you enough money to buy a Malomar kingdom.

Fat Belly said...

I have eaten too many mallomars too Sted. Let's go on a diet together. I always wished "stop the insanity" with Suzanne Powter was still an option.

Dr. Phil said...

Now you and the Sted. Man are in a little trouble, but there is no reason to gain weight over it!

Stedman said...

My ass is cuter than your ass piggy piggy piggy. Betcha can't stay away from those white foods for long, delicious pasta and rice and potatoes and bread. You are weak Oh!!!

Borat said...

I like a little town called Camden--is a very much like Kazikstan.

Mr. Bill said...

Dr. Phil I wanna have a cut up war with you. I am funnier and nicer than you. I HATE YOU!!!!

Terri Schiavo said...

I absolutely love Camden. But heaven is more like Wilmington, DE.

Oh! No! said...

Sweet bejesus Sted, I just ate an entire Tombstone pizza 'caus of your whining!

Clint Eastwood said...

What do you want on your tombstone?

Mr. Bill said...

Dr. Phil, just you wait for this cut up war to start. Your ugly puss will look like spaghetti. Oprah will want to eat you right up.

mountain man said...

Terri Schiavo!!! Yay!!! You are my idol just for dying. Well done, sweetie!!!

Oh! No! said...

...and two McGriddles!

Rene Russo said...

Clint, may I lick your balls?

mountain man said...

I love McGriddles. Don't tell Beth. They are the cause of all my gas.

Firefighter said...

I am here to help you fight the fires of evil. I have a long hose and a nice red hat. There are many more besides me who would like to help.

surburban housewife said...

does the afterlife have outlet stores?

Chewed Up Baby said...

Oprah, I would like to go on your show. I think I would be a good guest.

suburban housewife said...

hi firefighter. I'm bored. I'd like to see your hose and your hat. Meet me in my dodge caravan in the parking lot of Costco.

krixfort said...

Hi Mountain-y! How are things?

Firefighter said...

I wanna show you my hose!!!

mountain man said...

I need to work out more, Krixfort. I need to do something with this malformed body of mine. Do you have any advice? How bout you Suburban Housewife? Chewed Up Baby?

mountain man said...

I am swelling from lunacy and perversions.

postmoderndebunker said...

Oprah did a Chewed up Baby episode last month when she had Gweneth Paltrow and Apple on.

postmoderndebunker said...

I lika you hose Fireman!

mountain man said...

Stay away from Firefighter's hose PD. I thoughta we had an agreement.

postmoderndebunker said...

Yes, you are absoluta-ly right MM. Your stick is all I need.

Stedman said...

Stay away from my malomars Oh!

mountain man said...

I'm gonna starta to havea some Jack Daniels now.

Geekbird said...

what teh fuck is this site?? I'm confused and intrigued. I'm ruler of the world, who the fuck are y'all?

postmoderndebunker said...

Have an oxycontin chaser MM.

Hey Geek...we are we are we are rebel helpers.

krixfort said...

yeah, rebel helpers doin' it clean!

know what I mean?

krixfort said...

MM, I do not have advice for the malformed as I am unsightly when I take off my phantom of the opera mask.

Ian said...

Beware of the cutter...who couldn't cut the mmmmmmmmustard!

GAS said...

Roll.

Poison Anus said...

I'm on fire!

mountain man said...

Poison Anus? That's pretty grody. What do you look like? What color are you?

Hi GAS!!! How are you? Fine? A little nerdy? A broken substance?

Inchworm said...

I am cheerful. Bright and sunny! I love you.

Poison Anus said...

I am blue and green like a milky algae.

Roberta said...

Hi. You can call me Bob for short. This is a weird evening. I was hoping to commune online. There is someone in my life who I desperately do not understand. He is like a planet with no moons. He is a nice planet and then he gets to be an angry planet. He needs moons!!! You see?

Planet said...

You're right. I need moons.

Moons said...

I need planets. Hope to meet you sometime.

Janice said...

Roberta, I totally understand. I am very much like that. Good metaphor.

Anonymous said...

Roberta it sounds like your husband beats you. I am so sad for you.

alena said...

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I have a halloween sites. They pretty much covers costumes and masks related stuff.

Thanks again and I'll be sure to bookmark you.