There is a giant fireball coming towards me. I am tucking in my shirt and I forgot to wear deoderant. It is all so bad!
You musn't become a slave to your attackers. Do not be taken in by their luncheon meat ways. The fireball is trying to save you from them.
MM go into the light. This is a silly post. Couldn't you have made it a little longer? I am being mean. Sorry.
Oprah, I wish you would come back to me. I have been stuffing myself with mallomars ever since you dumped me. I am going to have a can of beer now.
Me and Janice and Jacques are having a great time up here. I am so glad I finally died. We are playing penochle.
My wife, she died. Is she there with you?
What does she look like Borat? There are so many dead wives up here.
She hada brown hair and a nice **.
Sted. we've been through this a zillion times....I love my best friend Gail now. But I will give you the numbers of my personal chef and trainer.
I will keep an eye out for her and tell her you said "hey". I will be on the look out for an especially nice **.
C'mon Oh!! You need me, you fat squatter.
Very niiiice. The afterlife, is it like New Jersey?
Actually it is not unlike parts of New Jersey. It may be more like Delaware. Very nonthreatening.
Dude, what can I say, I carried your sorry unsuccessful fat ass for all those years. I gave you enough money to buy a Malomar kingdom.
I have eaten too many mallomars too Sted. Let's go on a diet together. I always wished "stop the insanity" with Suzanne Powter was still an option.
Now you and the Sted. Man are in a little trouble, but there is no reason to gain weight over it!
My ass is cuter than your ass piggy piggy piggy. Betcha can't stay away from those white foods for long, delicious pasta and rice and potatoes and bread. You are weak Oh!!!
I like a little town called Camden--is a very much like Kazikstan.
Dr. Phil I wanna have a cut up war with you. I am funnier and nicer than you. I HATE YOU!!!!
I absolutely love Camden. But heaven is more like Wilmington, DE.
Sweet bejesus Sted, I just ate an entire Tombstone pizza 'caus of your whining!
What do you want on your tombstone?
Dr. Phil, just you wait for this cut up war to start. Your ugly puss will look like spaghetti. Oprah will want to eat you right up.
Terri Schiavo!!! Yay!!! You are my idol just for dying. Well done, sweetie!!!
...and two McGriddles!
Clint, may I lick your balls?
I love McGriddles. Don't tell Beth. They are the cause of all my gas.
I am here to help you fight the fires of evil. I have a long hose and a nice red hat. There are many more besides me who would like to help.
does the afterlife have outlet stores?
Oprah, I would like to go on your show. I think I would be a good guest.
hi firefighter. I'm bored. I'd like to see your hose and your hat. Meet me in my dodge caravan in the parking lot of Costco.
Hi Mountain-y! How are things?
I wanna show you my hose!!!
I need to work out more, Krixfort. I need to do something with this malformed body of mine. Do you have any advice? How bout you Suburban Housewife? Chewed Up Baby?
I am swelling from lunacy and perversions.
Oprah did a Chewed up Baby episode last month when she had Gweneth Paltrow and Apple on.
I lika you hose Fireman!
Stay away from Firefighter's hose PD. I thoughta we had an agreement.
Yes, you are absoluta-ly right MM. Your stick is all I need.
Stay away from my malomars Oh!
I'm gonna starta to havea some Jack Daniels now.
what teh fuck is this site?? I'm confused and intrigued. I'm ruler of the world, who the fuck are y'all?
Have an oxycontin chaser MM.Hey Geek...we are we are we are rebel helpers.
yeah, rebel helpers doin' it clean!know what I mean?
MM, I do not have advice for the malformed as I am unsightly when I take off my phantom of the opera mask.
Beware of the cutter...who couldn't cut the mmmmmmmmustard!
I'm on fire!
Poison Anus? That's pretty grody. What do you look like? What color are you? Hi GAS!!! How are you? Fine? A little nerdy? A broken substance?
I am cheerful. Bright and sunny! I love you.
I am blue and green like a milky algae.
Hi. You can call me Bob for short. This is a weird evening. I was hoping to commune online. There is someone in my life who I desperately do not understand. He is like a planet with no moons. He is a nice planet and then he gets to be an angry planet. He needs moons!!! You see?
You're right. I need moons.
I need planets. Hope to meet you sometime.
Roberta, I totally understand. I am very much like that. Good metaphor.
Roberta it sounds like your husband beats you. I am so sad for you.
Hey, I have enjoyed...your blog is informative - even entertaining.I have a halloween sites. They pretty much covers costumes and masks related stuff.Thanks again and I'll be sure to bookmark you.
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A blog about the New York artworld, body modification, mythical beasts, getting high, and wanting to die.