Saturday, April 02, 2005

Toad

I want to conjure the toad on a miserable rainy day like today. I want the toad play to come into focus for me. Beth is helping to get my back in a "U" shape. The incidence of the toad might help the angry planet with no moons. I can understand this, I am always in need of something. Right now, as I assume the difficult but soothing toad formula, I am wanting to see a mermaid with no shirt on. Maybe Beth will play dress up with me. And if she won't then I will find someone else who will. I am thinking of a certain Marla who I know will play whatever I want. We may take a day trip to Jersey for some bowling and other stuff that I don't want to say. She will wear what I tell her. I will tell her to wear a tutu and a neck brace. Wow.

96 comments:

Anonymous said...

I am looking for my cute little angry nice planet. Where are you?

Anonymous said...

I love you planet!!!

Anonymous said...

I am going shopping for the perfect neck brace for you MM. Even in the rain, I will do as you ask. I already have a nice tutu. I will also try to find a good sturdy mermaid tail. In case you want that too. But you will probably have to bring the wheelchair if I am to dress up as a mermaid. But that could be great fun because I could also pretend to have broken legs (no offense to any paraplegics or broken leggers).

Mountain Man said...

Marla!! You are all sass. I love you.

Anonymous said...

sorry about the weather MM but I am actually responsible for this. I commanded it to rain like a bitch so that I wouldn't feel bad about not leaving the house today.

Mountain Man said...

the truth is that me too, i wanted to stay home!!!! thanks!!!

Anonymous said...

YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!!!

Anonymous said...

Jack you are so maladjusted. No one can trust you. Everyone, stay away from Jack. He is a problem child. I should have aborted him in the womb. I always, always hated him.

Anonymous said...

I am raining like a bitch. Taste my wetness MM, it is peach nectar. It has hints of spring rosemary. Feel my cool breath in your hair. I want to run my fingers through your fur. Come outside, you will feel virile and invincible. Your enemies will cower before your mountain manliness. Squish a toad with your boots. forget about a neck brace, I am in a full body cast with spaces in all the right places.

Anonymous said...

In ahh my countly, toad is ah derecacy,mmm taste ahh so good I feer so happy. Tank you.

Anonymous said...

Well, you know I like a little BAM! on my toad and a little HMPH! and ZING! then I finish it off with a slick glob of "ESSENCE"

Anonymous said...

I like a little KER-POW!! and a dash of ZONK!! and a hit of BANG! with my toad.

Anonymous said...

Hi men!!! I am a chewed up baby. I wonder what kind of sauce you would like to put on me. Dericious!

Anonymous said...

Juicy Woodwitch, my goodness. You are a handicapped sex kitten!! What a darling you must be. Are you really in a body cast? I am virile-feeling, I knew it was something about the wind and the rain. It is raining toads on my apartment building. They go plop-splat, plop-splat. It's delight-making. Juicy Woodwitch is giving me a good feeling.

Anonymous said...

I would use a scotch bonnet pepper puree...because you're so hot!

Anonymous said...

I love scotch bonnet sauce.

Anonymous said...

I love scotch.

Anonymous said...

I love rats.

Anonymous said...

I love angry planet.

Anonymous said...

I am going to an opening tonight. I will meet some people I do not know. i am scared. I want to not go but I think I want to go too. I will hide under the bar if it gets too rough.

Anonymous said...

good luck handy man. you are succulent.

Anonymous said...

september's is my favorite restaurant.

Anonymous said...

i love hawthorne.

Anonymous said...

i love chicken tenders.

Anonymous said...

I hate Hawthorne.

Anonymous said...

I love hot pockets.

Anonymous said...

I've got a hot pocket. OoopS! did I just say that? Sorry. . .too many days at sea.

Anonymous said...

You gotta get some sailor...Arghhhhh.

Anonymous said...

hear hear! I second that emotion popeye. I had spinach for dinner. I am feeling like I could go all night.

Anonymous said...

Yeah Popeye, like you are in a position to give advice. Krixfort, he hasn't eaten his spinach in years! He's on a liquid diet, which is not good for his stick, if you know what I mean. Now, Brutus, however....

Anonymous said...

What's Brutus's number?

Anonymous said...

867-5309

Anonymous said...

You know, how did I know that would be it? Oh yeah, because I got it. I got his number on the wall.

Anonymous said...

For a good time, for a good time call!

Anonymous said...

Zogg I miss you.

Mountain Man said...

How did I miss it? I've got it! I've got her number on the wall. I am so sad. I missed you desperately and now I am here and no one else is. Poor poopers.

Mountain Man said...

Hi Svetlana. Are you a figure skater? I like the same sex pairs.

Anonymous said...

I am champion whore.

Anonymous said...

I love a good whore. Please give me.

Mountain Man said...

I wanna be sedated.

Anonymous said...

I made a delicious dinner for my girlfriend tonight. It consisted of carrot sauce with ginger and garlic and monkfish with risotto and veggies. My pee smells weird.

Anonymous said...

I am a same sex pair.

Anonymous said...

From the ether, I am infertile, is my new realization. I wish I could eat and give birth. I can only blog and whore about.

Anonymous said...

Mmm, monkfish is yummmmy.

Mountain Man said...

I lika monkfish. I lika gelatin mutton.

Anonymous said...

I am only whore for wealthy people.

Anonymous said...

I am jealous of your creativity MM and PD. I am nothing compared to you.

Anonymous said...

I am a same sex pair too.

Anonymous said...

I am sorry I couldn't love you the way you needed a man to love you. You are too larger than life. Anna.

Anonymous said...

I smell icky.

Anonymous said...

do you want to figure skate together wearing the purple spangles?

Anonymous said...

I meant that for dolly. Hi dolly. Funkfish, no offense, but there might be a better blog than this somewhere out there for you.

Mountain Man said...

Somebody squeeze my lemon til the juice runs down my leg.

Anonymous said...

Yes, I'll call Elizabeth Fraiser...the spangle maker.

Anonymous said...

MM you funkfish fraud from Fishtown, get a clue. Those were my lyrics. I have a Russian whore squeezing the lemon right now. It feels real good.

Anonymous said...

Ooooh Mountain Man, wanna hear my band Soul Angina?

Anonymous said...

Hello? Can you help me? I need to be helped.

Anonymous said...

Mama!

Mountain Man said...

Soul Vagina? That sounds excellent.

Anonymous said...

Oh dear, Hunter!

Mountain Man said...

I am dirt cheap. I am flawless. I am a furry plaything that makes games of small monkeys. I am turdlike and increasing in speed. I took some yellow pills. My liver is aching but my brain is twirlilng. I am giving it up to Jesus the maker of you and me.

Anonymous said...

Yo! Later for you!

Anonymous said...

I know I am getting to be a man, Grandes Illusions, but I would like it if you still would diaper me like a baby boy.

Anonymous said...

What? What?

Anonymous said...

Hey good lookin', what you got cookin'?

Anonymous said...

No way. No way. No way.

Anonymous said...

Hey good lookin'.

Anonymous said...

Mama,,,where is your nipple? I am famished

Anonymous said...

What you say Siegel??

Anonymous said...

Hey good lookin', nice feet!

Anonymous said...

I have a fork in my head. I don't know about this blog. i am tired of all the absurdity, I mean what is the ultimate goal here. I am ready to kill myself is part of the problem.

Get up, get up, get up, wake up wake up wake up baby let's get down tonight. Baby i'm hot just like an oven I need some lovin'. Baby I can't hold it much longer it's getting stronger and stronger.

Anonymous said...

Hey, wanna see my cast bronze penis?

Mountain Man said...

I have teats enough for everyone to suck from . Suck from the milky teats. I have enough enough enough love for you.

Mountain Man said...

No Michael, I am not a same sex pair.

Anonymous said...

What?!? Jonny you're nuts!

Mountain Man said...

When I get that feeling I want secular healing. Secular healing, makes me feel so fine.

Anonymous said...

I had an accident. I miss Marvin and Jonny. And Robert. I want to commune with ghosts.

Anonymous said...

Mmmmmm teats.

Anonymous said...

Fahget about teats...I want feets!

Mountain Man said...

My pants are soggy too, darling. It will be ok. You can start to begin to wear the depends. There is no shame in wearing a man diaper.

Anonymous said...

Mother I wet my pants too. I am not sure how to handle this. I am standing in the middle of Houston Street.

Mountain Man said...

I feel dirty. Like dirty juanita.

Anonymous said...

Do me baby, like you never done before, oooo give it to me till I just can't take no more.

Anonymous said...

ow, oooo, ooooo, aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh,
c'mon and do me baby...

Anonymous said...

Uh, how 'bout a free drink at M&R? I will take the fork outta my head if you say yes.

Anonymous said...

where's a good manbaby when you need one?

Anonymous said...

where is dirty juanita by the way. I was thinking of salted pork baths earlier.

Anonymous said...

Hunter! Wait, I'll get a bucket from the art store.

Anonymous said...

Such silliness. i am spying on you naughties.

Anonymous said...

I am into diapers, baby.

Anonymous said...

oooo fabio! did you get your hair cut? You look great!

Anonymous said...

no, just a new dye job and a trim. I can't believe it's not blond!

Anonymous said...

Baby eee aaaa eeeaaa, I get chills when I'm with you...
coo coo coo

Anonymous said...

I mean James.

Anonymous said...

boom boom boom boom

Anonymous said...

i did okay last night. I begged my girlfriend to tell me the truth. "did I integrate well?" he said yes.