Sunday, April 17, 2005

More Metal, Less Flesh

Is the rule of the day today. I will wear loose, lightweight, casual clothes on my trip to the piercing parlor today. I have all kinds of metal dreams for my forehead, nipples, bum, and torso. When the pierced and/or enhanced places are less raw, I will switch to gutsier outfits. But for now, in my nervousness, I need the comfort of soft clothing. When I emerge, I will be a new MM with the following modifications:

1. Horns like Pan (one half goat - get it? - and the other half man)
2. Pierced nipples (this, I know, is no biggy, but it needed to be done)
3. Metal plates in bum cheeks
4. Rubber bands threaded with needles in long rows on either side of my torso.

Next Sunday is the tattoo parlor. Today is for metallurgy.

58 comments:

Geno said...

This is a relief. I was afraid you had given up your body modification ideology in favor of wimpy attitudes. Please engage in less horseplay. It's time to get serious, the time is coming for you to protect yourself against all enemies.

Cuddles said...

MM you will be even stranger than you are now, with rubber bands along your sides, you will look like Captain Lou Albano. I bet you are an ugly man.

ginger said...

Mountain Man
Please ignore cuddles, he knows not of what he speaks. Enhancements create beauty, enhancements by definition enhance; you can not be ugly. Though I question #3; will your flesh be covered permanently, that would be beyond enhancement and quite possibly a shame. #4 is fantastic, maybe even phantasmagorical. Go, Mountain, Go; I love pierced nipples and Pan is hot!!!

mountain man said...

Thanks Ginger. How have you been? I haven't seen you around here in so long. You are tops. FYI, the plates in my bum are a fabulous idea. They bring protection and ward off burglers, ie those who are seeking to burgle me bunghole.

I had an amazing night with Ham Paw last night. I was fully initiated and I will speak of it in greater detail later. I must meditate on it before I am able to tell the story in its fundamental completeness. I am roaming around on the inside of myself, very satiated, very interested.

Dancer of Asymmetry said...

I am excited to hear about your return to enhancement practices. It was wounding to imagine you without goat legs, so normal, interacting with the world fluidly and with purpose. Please maintain a high level of purposelessness and dont' be afraid to act in vain or with anger in your heart. You will be a risk-taker, and the world needs more of these. Do not stupefy yourself. No lulling.

Ernie said...

Foolish fun. A folly in the forest.

Sushi Blameful said...

I am so exciting to hear of your growths.
Much sun on your plates.
Please post of us image when complete.
Horns are happy making.

MOdernista said...

Ginger, you sound like a smart woman. Maybe we should start a reading group.

Modernista said...

Thanks for the ramifications, MM.

mountain man said...

Hi, it is so nice out but I am tres tired. How do I get going if I am tres hungover from Ham and Paw?

Anonymous said...

Sushi, who do you blame and for what?

postmoderndebunker said...

I hear you MM, I tried to take a nap, but the guilt is eating away at my rabid candy heart.

Did you ramify Modernista last night after the party for Ham?

Anonymous said...

Sushi, don't blame us for your raw energy.

mountain man said...

I could not ramify anyone after the rituals I participated in. I am so blasted out. My stomach is swelling. However, I look great with my new horns and hardened ass cheeks. It is very blossomy outside. I am trying to mix it up. Hard.

postmoderndebunker said...

Yeah, I smell the stench of dogwoods.

mountain man said...

It is truly gooney out.

Modernista said...

Oh shit, PD, where are you taking me now...ow...

postmoderndebunker said...

Okay, I have something I gotta take care of.

mountain man said...

I am falling deeply, sexually in love with my neighbor's small terrier. I believe she will be a suitable Beth-replacement mechanism. I am loading up on kibbles and 2 bits. This way I won't have to worry about STDs.

Dingbat said...

MM be careful of dog love, it stings more that you think.

Rumpleforeskin said...

What on earth? Dog love? Please tell me this is a euphemism for normalcy.

krixfort said...

I am feeling the pain of the initiation experience, MM. There is pleasure in it. But mostly I am worn out.

Bleet said...

Me too Krix. I am half dead from overseeing the textual component of our same-taste ritual last night. I am so in need of violent potions.

Blue Sock Of Mourning said...

My homeo-ramification is nearing treasure-state. I am missing out on most of life.

Hideous Frenchman said...

I am here looking for the love of a young female woman. I'd like to be her best amour. For amour and tres bien ecoute et repete. Oui! Le meilleur amour que tu will ever have, ma petit chou pour les fous.

Anonymous said...

I heard that the French are actually spawned from the lesser units.

Delphine said...

I have heard that too, however, it has never stopped me. I can't be stopped!

Judd Specter said...

I loathe the French. But not as much as the Dutch. I am sure MM will agree with me.

Anonymous said...

You people are so xenophobic, yet you are all such insane xenos yourselves.

Gelatin Mutton said...

I know. You are right and I am so sorry to myself and all the other xenos. I think everyone else should apologize.

Stacey said...

oh my gawd! i like, love frenching. hey Frenchman, wanna get together?

Lady Jane Sheepshacks said...

I dare say, this is quite a curious collection of characters.

Roscoe T. James said...

A coo, coo, coo to you Mountain Man--we'll get you yet!

mountain man said...

No! Of course you will not get me. I am loose and flexible since the initiation. I am determined and uncouth without care or reference.

Loose Stools said...

Are you loose like me? Or is it a different kind of loose.

mountain man said...

I am the different kind of loose. Real different.

Self-defecator said...

I have loose stools now.

Roscoe T. James said...

A coo, coo, coo, hee, hee, Tom Wolpat and me are gonna git you yet, a coooo

Lady Jane Sheepshacks said...

Dear me, I don't believe the disgusting nature of such posts

Smokey and The Bandit said...

Shit, Roscoe, you can't even catch herpes from a hooker!

Toto said...

Not quite a year since you went away...now she's gone and I have to say....meet you all the way, meet you all the way, meet you all the way....I can see your face shining through the window on the other side....

Rosanna Arquette said...

I don't care what you say...I'm not coming back to you.

Tommy Tutone said...

...I got your number, I need to make you mine...I got your number 867-5309

mountain man said...

Rosanna, Rosanna yeah. Can I kick you? Yes I can! Can I kick you? Yes I can!!

Tommy said...

for a good time call...

Rosanna Arquette said...

You wanna kick me in the teeth? I can take it.

Keira Sedgewick said...

I am so annoying, I know.

mountain man said...

Please ration out the peas and beans. I am hungry and ready to eat.

Jon Bon Jovi said...

I'm a cowboy...on a steel horse I ride...I'm wanted...dead or alive!

Anorexic Ballerina said...

One pea for me please.

Jason McMaster said...

No.

Stacey said...

Like,I have both my nips pierced.

mountain man said...

No.

mountain man said...

Your nips I bet are like mosquito bites.

Justin said...

Infected bites.

Stacey said...

like, NOT!

Fight said...

You were not made for detached aesthetic contemplation. You were made for all-terrain.

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