Saturday, March 26, 2005

GRAND OPENING!!!!

Hey everyone!! Come join me at my new saloon. It's called NED'S!!!! Do you like the name? If you bring your hat, your vest, your badge and a nice chunky belt or holster, you can have unlimited free rounds of sasparilla. We can all commune together in different contortions and recount the traumatic discourse of earlier times. We can have mind control festivities and poke each other with pens and forks. All hussies must surrender to being tied up, is part of the bargain at NED'S. Please come to my new saloon.

The theme of the saloon is old plus new. It is about the wild frontier and the new era that is approaching. Robots may be there on special nights. We will serve only the freshest chicken parts and make paw-shaped morsels out of ham in honor of our dear friend and spokesmodel, Ham Paw. We may have small chewy kittens there as well. We will curse the enemies and send them to the hinterlands. There will be willing and unscrupulous plastic surgeons everywhere to advise you about animal part transplants. Nothing is off limits at NED'S!!!!

We will have noxcema available in jars on every table for the soothing application on backyards. We all have to sit too much for our jobs so why not have a place to go where we can heal? Both inside and out.

Bring a friend! Welcome to my new saloon!!!!

28 comments:

Anonymous said...

Will you serve turkey or just chicken? I must know. I am addicted to the triptophan.

Jethro said...

Sounds fun. I may bring my Jew's Harp to play on. And dance around on my tippy toes.

Chud said...

Franz and I will definitely be there! We are going shopping for matching vests this afternoon.

Satoshi said...

Yes, yes and Helen and I will come with our laptops so we can speak to each other from different tables!!! Sounds like a good idea, MM!!!

Mrs. Finklestein said...

I will come on the condition that you not hang any disturbing fang-related images on the walls. Otherwise I cannot condone this saloon.

postmoderndebunker said...

Just don't serve gerkins...I'll have nightmares. Will you have Wi-Fi?

mountain man said...

I am having so many epiphanies at once. One is that Mrs. Finklestein may not enter Ned's.

mountain man said...

Forgive me, PD, what is Wi-Fi? I have tech-misunderstandings. I am contemplating the dead and giving them forgiveness.

postmoderndebunker said...

Wi-Fi is a polite way of saying "Whiff of the Stick" --you don't want the likes of C***aleeza Rice and Dick Cheney closing you down for indecency.
Wi-Fi allows one to whiff the stick without being hooked up with wires and such, and what not.

Secret Agent said...

I am monitoring this site. There is foulness here. There is deep wrongness.

postmoderndebunker said...

...not to mention spastic Colon Pow, and Don Rumpsfeld. And you don't want the stick to come in direct contact with Bush, at least not on opening night.

mountain man said...

I love what not. Thank you PD. You must be one hell of a sexpot. What do you think about meeting me by the fires later and condoning bad behavior that Mrs. Finklestein would find rabidly amoral?

mountain man said...

I want to put my stick in everyone's bum!!!

Chud said...

I like you piles MM but stay away from my bum with that dirty stick!! You are a manwhore!!!

postmoderndebunker said...

What time? I am getting my tail waxed at 6, but I am free after that. I'll just be a little sore.

mountain man said...

I will put nocxema on your tail. I will soothe you. We can put biore strips on each other's noses and get off the blackheads. It will be all about taking care of each other and lewd wrongness. I may even want to eat a pizza pie with you, in spite of my rampant food allergies.

Anonymous said...

You people are vile. Go out and get some sun!! It's a beautiful day out there and you are rotting your eyes at the computer.

postmoderndebunker said...

Okay anonymous, I know your my mother in disguise! The sun bothers my tail and causes more blackheads.

MM: I'll be there. I'll bring the oxycontin.

mountain man said...

That is so excellent. I am way far addicted to oxycontin. I was going to move to Mexico so I could procure it more easily. We are so "in synch." as they say.

mountain man said...

WHISKEY AND DOWNERS WILL BE SERVED AT NED'S!!!

Firefighter said...

I am on my way over to Ned's. Which way do I go?

Anonymous said...

How do you have time to run off at the mouth like this? Someone should tie up your hands for a while. How do you think this is adding to the world?

Anonymous said...

How do you have time to run off at the mouth like this? Someone should tie up your hands for a while. How do you think this is adding to the world?

friend of the wild said...

anonymous. I know who you are. You are a cow. Stop being so threatened and jealous of BETH! I know how hard it is for you to be a borderline personality, but try to stop judging the innocent mm. he is fragrant and lovely. He is precious. You are not. please find an outlet for your rage or get some meds! please step aside.

krixfort said...

I am on my way to Ned's right now for some fine sasparilla.

postmoderndebunker said...

CAREFUL Mountain Man....'cause BOOZE ROTS YOUR TEETH!!!!!

Anonymous said...

"The theme of the saloon is old plus new. It is about the wild frontier and the new era that is approaching. Robots may be there on special nights."

As sole proprieter and copywrite owner of the entertainment entity herin known as 'Westworld', I demand That 'Ned's ceases and desists from all activity pertaining to olde timey saloons and robots. Forthwith. Expect immediate official coorespondence from my lawyerbot.

mountain man said...

NO!!! MAKE ME!!! You are an olde time screwball lying c*cksucker piece of trash. You're not the boss of me!!!!