Sunday, March 06, 2005

Die Die Die

Aqua pools of sulphuric acid with pockets of steam rising from them. It's a beautiful sight. But meanwhile I am puckery and grey. I sit in my bedroom and hear the worst television set noise and giggling from people who I am supposed to love who are sitting in the living room.

I am bitter again. It was getting better at one point. I felt somewhat at peace for a day or so. I read this book that told me to calm down. Not to be so clingy. I felt I understood it for a few hours and I began to really calm down. I began to cling less. I had my own private thoughts and felt my bad pain like fluffy pudding in my stomach instead of like hot angry daggers behind my eyes. It seemed like the right thing to do to be nice. I wanted to smile and uncrease my wizened face. But now I am scrunched up again. Hateful again.

I want to be a better Mountain Man. I really do. But inside I am seething with hatred. I WANT THINGS TO SIZZLE. I am an ugly man.

15 comments:

Helen Bicklesworth said...

I am ready to sizzle.

foggy said...

i can't hear anything. i am mad at everyone i love too. i am mad at everyone.

Pawn Shop said...

I am sunburnt. Does that qualify as a sizzle?

troll said...

my hands and feet are swelling up. what is happening to me? where are all of my protectors?

GAS said...

Burn.

randy said...

Burn, baby, burn.

Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr said...

Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
I actually love everyone; I just hate that they are not what I want them to be. Break the TV. Sell the Couch. Murder a kitten.
Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

mountain man said...

randy i said sizzle not burn you hedonist.

mountain man said...

i guess i love everyone too. probably it's that i hate myself.

Mountain sprite said...

You are not ugly; you are self loathing. Welcome your Inner Sprite into your Mountain mind. She has hidden in your bowels for too long. Set her free and you will find happiness.

randy said...

WHAT is wrong with Hedonism (not the club)

mountain man said...

I don't have an inner sprite. Just some flat generic brand cola. Self-loathing is a bad idea. I am trying to stop.

mountain man said...

nothing is wrong with it randy. are you paranoid? or just mealy?

bob said...

Robert Meeley is a good artist.

mountain man said...

is that right? i can think of some other ones that might be better. besides don't you spell his name in a different way? are you him?