Thursday, February 24, 2005

Bathtub

This is to get you all fired up about tomorrow morning at Grand Central. It's real clean now. But it won't be clean tomorrow.

.

27 comments:

mindy said...

What brand of tub is that?

mountain man said...

I don't know, I stole it from my mom.

gwendoline said...

Mountain
Forgive me for I have no interest in tubs. Lakes and streams are more my milieu. I waited by the pond for hours. The gnomes went home and it became very dark quickly, unnaturally quickly. I am leaving your remedy in the knot of the old beech tree. It will be safe there. The tree has powers if you are open to seeing its colors. It and I will be waiting for your return. Yours eternal,
gwendoline

lion king said...

I AM PIERCING MYSELF THROUGH THE CHEEK WITH A SAFETY PIN!

dude said...

lion king i am here to taunt you.

dude said...

dude, you are so cool.

dudest said...

Dude, I hate Renaissance fairies, but I wouldn't mind tying gwendo up. She sounds hot in a crushable kind of way.

fairy butler said...

gwendoline,

Have we met? Do you know me or my fairy butler? Do you know that one gnome who hangs out in williamsburg, Nils? He wears a lot of purple and has that comedy act? Anyway... I just thought I'd say hello. We probably have friends in common from the otherworlds.

As I bow down to the heavens I bid you good night.

fb

runt said...

O.K. I'm in Grand Central and I can't find you anywhere. I'm looking for a tall mountain man with a bathtub who smells like a goat. Where are you? Please point me in the right direction. I am in need of your services

gwendoline said...

Dearest Fairy Butler,
I do believe I have sighted you and your Butler near Dark Grove, but I have not harnessed the powers needed to walk with you there. If you could teach me, I will share my knowledge of other crafts. I am versed in potions, balms and salves, and know the ways of the forest well.
I know not of this Nils. Williamsburg is filled with the forlorn. Lost souls have ruined that copse.
I am glad that you pray.
It is liberating for the self, no?
May your journey be peaceful through this and every world.

mr. wiggles said...

Yeah, where the eff are you? I was walking around for an hour looking for you. Why do you torment me so? I think you are a phony. You're not a mountain man at all. You probably don't even have long hair. I bet you look like Seth Green. Am I right? I bet I am. I'm right about a lot of things. I usually win at things like Trivial Pursuit and Boggle. I'd challenge you to a game, but you probably wouldn't show up.

krixfort said...

Gwendolyn, I am in need of some elixir to cancel the effects of last night's elixir. I am willing to offer up a hefty sum for this? Do your posess anything that could aid me?

krixfort said...

forgive the misspellings. I am not well.

krixfort said...

Mountain Man, I believe I need to soak my heavy head in your tub. I trapsed up and down the avenues last night but alas, I was not able to make it to the advice cube. I am hoping that you will refill the tub later today.

gwendoline said...

Fortress,
I am sorry to hear of your ails. A beechroot and black bear bile emollient is just remedy for your heavy and swollen liver.
For it is not the head that ails; the head merely acknowledges, and most oft causes, the malady. The pelt of the wolf that bit would hit the mark as well.....was it Maker's perchance, a dangerous elixir I too flirt with at times.
The only sum I ask is reciprocity; give to those deserving and in need.
As for any misspellings, not to worry. My name takes many forms, and I rarely use this alphabet anyway. Call, I will come.

randy said...

Krixfort
all flightyness aside
try a Jack and Coke and crank the Buzzcocks
works everytime

krixfort said...

gwendoline, you are wise.

The alphabet rings a loud bell in my shivering ears, for those were the avenues I was cavorting amongst, hurling myself to and fro, as though I were on a rocking boat.

krixfort said...

I was offered another rememdy for smiting enemies last night during my travels: poisoned lipstick

bob said...

I am hungover from life, and am finally seeing what Mountain Man is saying about wanting to die. Is no one thinking artistically today? Has the Man gone to the Mountain?

crapstack said...

I need a pork bath AND a new liver.

ginger said...

Mountain Man, I just wanted to say that this seemed like a cool blog, but people keep ranking on each other and using other people's identity.
Pan didn't stay out all night the other night; i didn't write that.

be yourself....

Has anyone heard from Trixie? Does she have her own blog?

solo said...

My drinking buddy surgically removed.
http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?g=events/sc/021905egyptbaby&tmpl=sl&e=1

mountain man said...

I apologize for missing from my cube duty without notice. I got word that my donkey was in distress. She was left for too long in the empty lot and had a bad case of whooping cough. I had to tend to her and teach her a lesson on throat care. There are plenty more lessons to be taught. Please tell me your problems!

tad said...

In case you are stuck at work and

Just in case you’re having a rough day, here’s a stress management technique recommended in all the latest psychological texts. The funny thing is that it really works...


Picture yourself near a stream.

Birds are softly chirping in the cool mountain air.

No one but you knows your secret place.

You are in total seclusion from the hectic place called “the world”.

The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air with a cascade of serenity.

The water is crystal clear.

You can easily make out the face of the person you’re holding underwater...

See, you’re smiling already :-)

mountain man said...

Tad! Thank you for that technique. How many people do you think I can hold under water at a time? I am very tortured and pug is following me again.

kitty said...

Runt, are you okay? Did you find the empty kiosk?

mountain man said...

Ginger. Thanks for your reflections. I agree that it is unwise to impersonate other bloggers. Whoever is perpetrating such bad behavior needs to fess up and stop it so that we don't lose friends. I'm worried and I don't have enough drugs to numb my distress.