Friday, January 20, 2006

Jesus Plus Toast Equals Something



Can you see his face I mean my face in the burn marks on the toast? It's a birthday miracle. Also born today:

Lorenzo Lamas

I feel myself becoming more loving, in the way of Jesus, just as I suspected I would. This is the year for me. I am going to emerge big time, in high-quality gender-neutral style, and then disappear, making you all feel guilty for eternity that I martyred myself for you. Or something like that. I forget. I am part Jew just like Jesus, so I never really read that much of the Bible. At any rate it promises to be a great year of observation, ecstatic frenzies, embezzlement, bastardizing and tearing up inappropriately, etc.

Happy Un-Birthday to all my fellow bloggers.

54 comments:

Shitayed said...

this year I'll prolly get re-burned, looking forward!

mountain man said...

Hey Shitayed. I can't seem to get out of bayed. Jesus is not lifting me up.

Gorgon said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MM. I am glad this toast has no butter. Butter is so awful.

postmoderndebunker said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MM!!!!!!! I am sending butter and jam your way to soften the rough edges of your toast. I am also sending heartz, with a z.

love, love, love,

Corny said...

Happy Birthday MM, U R superexcellent and if my eye had an apple you'de be it.

Corny said...

MM what will you be doing on your bday? 8 hour long spa treatment, cucumber wraps and black sea mud dips? me hopes.

Corny said...

I wish I could throw a big chocolate cake clear across manhattan and into your window, landing on the bed right next to thee.

postmoderndebunker said...

Send it to me, Corny. I'll make sure mm gets it.

Painter said...

Happy Birthday MM.
Hope you have a great day.

Corny said...

Pd, I'm suspecting you're not being compleatly above board with your intentions for my cake.

bobo said...

Also born today:

Director David Lynch

Doctor Who Tom Baker

Also-Ran Astronaut Buzz Aldrin

Musician Slim Whitman

Adult Film Star Monique

Hacky Actor DeForest Kelley

Director Federico Fellini

Drummer Ahmir '?uestlove' Thompson

Holocaust Denier Skeet Ulrich

Execrable Musician Edwin McCain

National Treasure Melissa Rivers

Sickening Troll Bill Maher

Kiss Singer and STD Factory Paul Stanley

Corny said...

Now There's a dinner party

Thumbody said...

Skeet Ulrich and Sickening Troll Bill Maher will have to sit at the kiddy table in the other room

Mountain Man said...

Corny, thank you for your best wishes. Your love is my love my love is your love our love is here to stay. I knows it.

PD, I trust you with the cake. On your honor, you must bring it to me. I will trust you until you give me reason not to. See? Honor.

Bobo!!!!! Delight upon delight, my darling brother Bobo. Thank you for your list. Hey everyone, Bobo is my brother!! Don't you love him? He is especiale.

Mountain Man said...

For all those who are interested in what I am doing today for my transformation into Jesus:

I will be filming my first adult video.

postmoderndebunker said...

Well, I was gonna carve a hole in it and hide. Like a hidey-hole, see and then jump out--all bloated and chocolate-smeared, yelling "Surprise, baby bejesus!"

fairy butler said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESUSMM! please tell me that the title of your adult film is Jesus....mmmmmmmm.

postmoderndebunker said...

MM: have you forgotten about that time we set up the digital camera.....?

fabeebles said...

i gotsta Krunk you up mm. Less mix it up ho-time. Snap crackle pop to yer King yo.

Mountain Man said...

Nice title FB. Very nicely done. PD I want to see you smeared in brown.

Voice of Reason said...

I suggest using caution during the filming of your adult video, MM. Caution and dental dams.

w.w. said...

happy birthday MM
my bday was yesterday

Mountain Man said...

Hey WW! Funny!!! Happy Birthday to you too. I am glad to meet another double consonant, especially one that I resemble upside down.

magix man said...

Happy Birthday to you, MM. I will make a hat jump out of a rabbit for you.

sloth said...

MM! Big squishy kisses and hearts on your birthday!

Pee Ess: will you allow other species into your adult video?

Mountain Man said...

All species great and small, furry and smooth, animal, vegetable or mineral. It's very inclusive. Meant to instruct. Meant to be a container of interpoking between the formats of life. See?

fairy butler said...

Noah's ark theme.

lamb of doG said...

Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

crown motor said...

Keep them dogs at Baaaaaaaaayyyyy.

AlsoArthur said...

MmmmmmMmmmmm burthdei.

I may have to stop over at Colony and peruse their karaoke collection for an extra disc of joy and howling.

sloth said...

No lambs allowed... this is an ADULT inter-species video!

Mountain Man said...

AA, we are on the same page.

Lammykins, it's ok, as long as you have the goods you can be in the video. Something tells me, if you are from doG, then you have got some high quality grade A XXXXXXXL goods.

eddie money said...

MM:I got two tickets to paradise...

2 Tickets to Queens Blvd. said...

I am ready for playtime.

Heart As Arena said...

Mountainous Mandibles. A million hundred birthday wishes unto you, you smutmeister you. A stag film? Full on with salt licks and everything?

Unca Stinky's Beau said...

Dear MM:
Happy birthdaysss, best wishes...
Unca Stinky has forgotten, but sends his love via moi...Kitty sends...well never mind, she means well too.
Worried about that cake landing next to ya on the bed...could be a great shot though on the video!
Are the candles lit? Could be HOT!

sloth said...

ems, you will surely be heaped with prezz-wezzlers and sexual favors on this birthday. there is one waiting at the Log for you right now...

AlsoArthur said...

ohhhhh shit!

I hope you like hits from the 80's.

Arthur went a bit nutters.

AlsoArthur said...

I claim this song:

David Lee Roth: Just A Gigolo / Ain't Got Nobody

Krixfort said...

MM I wrote special haiku for you!

Anno Domini
is OVER. Make way for the
year of Mountain Man.

Hooray! Happy birthday!

Mary Kate Olson said...

I claim this song: "I ain't got no body"

pd said...

My dream is to perform "Under Pressure" with FB.

krixfort said...

PD, which part will you sing? Freddie Mercury's or David Bowie's?

Mountain Man said...

PD are you feeling ok? Me hopes.

Mountain Man said...

Haiku makes funny feeling in pants.

doctor pants said...

please describe this funny feeling Mr. Mountain Man.

postmoderndebunker said...

I am looking to be Bowies, as FB would be a great Freddie M.

postmoderndebunker said...

I am guzzling Emergen-C in order to get better by tonight.

Mountain Man said...

Funny ringing feelings. PD!!! Come on over and take a nap in my ringing lap. It will soothe.

lamb of doG said...

Baaaaaaaaaaaaaut, I want to nap in yer lap. Don't fleece me now; I've got the goods. I am rapt with the thought of a nap in your lap. I'll be there asap.

krixfort said...

here are the tasks I accomplished after MM b-day.

Took out the trash.
Did the dishes.
Took a shower.

I was reminded of these tasks when I woke up with a towel around my neck. I was a very industrious drunk person. I should be drunk more often.

sloth said...

GOOD krix... much better than the slothly Sloth. Throat scratchy and hoarse from shouting Flock Of Seagulls lyrics drunkenly & at top volume, and god knows what else. Please don't tell... it's much better to remain blissfully ignorant of such things.

MM, thank you. You are made of special-sweet stuff... Many happies!

Speaking of which & out of curiosity, who ate Sponge Bob's penis?

fairy butler said...

wow krix. very impressive. arthur and i ended up on subway to shuttle bus scenario. it took forever. normally i wait until the morning to hash out the most embarrassing weird moments in an evening (that I brought unto myself) but the shuttle bus ride gave me ample time to consider these things in glorious detail. ugh. i am not a wild and unsteady raccoon normally. i suffered from too much un-selfconsciousness that now i must pay.

pd said...

Nothing can make me feel better--now that I missed MM's music fest and celebration. I am sad, sad, sad. And I can't believe I missed Sloth doing Flock O' Seagulls. Not fair.