Friday, January 20, 2006

Jesus Plus Toast Equals Something



Can you see his face I mean my face in the burn marks on the toast? It's a birthday miracle. Also born today:

Lorenzo Lamas

I feel myself becoming more loving, in the way of Jesus, just as I suspected I would. This is the year for me. I am going to emerge big time, in high-quality gender-neutral style, and then disappear, making you all feel guilty for eternity that I martyred myself for you. Or something like that. I forget. I am part Jew just like Jesus, so I never really read that much of the Bible. At any rate it promises to be a great year of observation, ecstatic frenzies, embezzlement, bastardizing and tearing up inappropriately, etc.

Happy Un-Birthday to all my fellow bloggers.

45 comments:

Anonymous said...

this year I'll prolly get re-burned, looking forward!

Mountain Man said...

Hey Shitayed. I can't seem to get out of bayed. Jesus is not lifting me up.

Anonymous said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MM. I am glad this toast has no butter. Butter is so awful.

Corny said...

Happy Birthday MM, U R superexcellent and if my eye had an apple you'de be it.

Corny said...

MM what will you be doing on your bday? 8 hour long spa treatment, cucumber wraps and black sea mud dips? me hopes.

Corny said...

I wish I could throw a big chocolate cake clear across manhattan and into your window, landing on the bed right next to thee.

Painter said...

Happy Birthday MM.
Hope you have a great day.

Corny said...

Pd, I'm suspecting you're not being compleatly above board with your intentions for my cake.

Anonymous said...

Also born today:

Director David Lynch

Doctor Who Tom Baker

Also-Ran Astronaut Buzz Aldrin

Musician Slim Whitman

Adult Film Star Monique

Hacky Actor DeForest Kelley

Director Federico Fellini

Drummer Ahmir '?uestlove' Thompson

Holocaust Denier Skeet Ulrich

Execrable Musician Edwin McCain

National Treasure Melissa Rivers

Sickening Troll Bill Maher

Kiss Singer and STD Factory Paul Stanley

Corny said...

Now There's a dinner party

Anonymous said...

Skeet Ulrich and Sickening Troll Bill Maher will have to sit at the kiddy table in the other room

Anonymous said...

Corny, thank you for your best wishes. Your love is my love my love is your love our love is here to stay. I knows it.

PD, I trust you with the cake. On your honor, you must bring it to me. I will trust you until you give me reason not to. See? Honor.

Bobo!!!!! Delight upon delight, my darling brother Bobo. Thank you for your list. Hey everyone, Bobo is my brother!! Don't you love him? He is especiale.

Anonymous said...

For all those who are interested in what I am doing today for my transformation into Jesus:

I will be filming my first adult video.

fairy butler said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESUSMM! please tell me that the title of your adult film is Jesus....mmmmmmmm.

Anonymous said...

i gotsta Krunk you up mm. Less mix it up ho-time. Snap crackle pop to yer King yo.

Anonymous said...

Nice title FB. Very nicely done. PD I want to see you smeared in brown.

Anonymous said...

I suggest using caution during the filming of your adult video, MM. Caution and dental dams.

Anonymous said...

happy birthday MM
my bday was yesterday

Anonymous said...

Hey WW! Funny!!! Happy Birthday to you too. I am glad to meet another double consonant, especially one that I resemble upside down.

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday to you, MM. I will make a hat jump out of a rabbit for you.

sloth said...

MM! Big squishy kisses and hearts on your birthday!

Pee Ess: will you allow other species into your adult video?

Anonymous said...

All species great and small, furry and smooth, animal, vegetable or mineral. It's very inclusive. Meant to instruct. Meant to be a container of interpoking between the formats of life. See?

fairy butler said...

Noah's ark theme.

Anonymous said...

Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Anonymous said...

Keep them dogs at Baaaaaaaaayyyyy.

sloth said...

No lambs allowed... this is an ADULT inter-species video!

Anonymous said...

AA, we are on the same page.

Lammykins, it's ok, as long as you have the goods you can be in the video. Something tells me, if you are from doG, then you have got some high quality grade A XXXXXXXL goods.

Anonymous said...

MM:I got two tickets to paradise...

Anonymous said...

I am ready for playtime.

Heart As Arena said...

Mountainous Mandibles. A million hundred birthday wishes unto you, you smutmeister you. A stag film? Full on with salt licks and everything?

Anonymous said...

Dear MM:
Happy birthdaysss, best wishes...
Unca Stinky has forgotten, but sends his love via moi...Kitty sends...well never mind, she means well too.
Worried about that cake landing next to ya on the bed...could be a great shot though on the video!
Are the candles lit? Could be HOT!

sloth said...

ems, you will surely be heaped with prezz-wezzlers and sexual favors on this birthday. there is one waiting at the Log for you right now...

Anonymous said...

MM I wrote special haiku for you!

Anno Domini
is OVER. Make way for the
year of Mountain Man.

Hooray! Happy birthday!

Anonymous said...

I claim this song: "I ain't got no body"

Anonymous said...

My dream is to perform "Under Pressure" with FB.

Anonymous said...

PD, which part will you sing? Freddie Mercury's or David Bowie's?

Anonymous said...

PD are you feeling ok? Me hopes.

Anonymous said...

Haiku makes funny feeling in pants.

Anonymous said...

please describe this funny feeling Mr. Mountain Man.

Anonymous said...

Funny ringing feelings. PD!!! Come on over and take a nap in my ringing lap. It will soothe.

Anonymous said...

Baaaaaaaaaaaaaut, I want to nap in yer lap. Don't fleece me now; I've got the goods. I am rapt with the thought of a nap in your lap. I'll be there asap.

Anonymous said...

here are the tasks I accomplished after MM b-day.

Took out the trash.
Did the dishes.
Took a shower.

I was reminded of these tasks when I woke up with a towel around my neck. I was a very industrious drunk person. I should be drunk more often.

sloth said...

GOOD krix... much better than the slothly Sloth. Throat scratchy and hoarse from shouting Flock Of Seagulls lyrics drunkenly & at top volume, and god knows what else. Please don't tell... it's much better to remain blissfully ignorant of such things.

MM, thank you. You are made of special-sweet stuff... Many happies!

Speaking of which & out of curiosity, who ate Sponge Bob's penis?

fairy butler said...

wow krix. very impressive. arthur and i ended up on subway to shuttle bus scenario. it took forever. normally i wait until the morning to hash out the most embarrassing weird moments in an evening (that I brought unto myself) but the shuttle bus ride gave me ample time to consider these things in glorious detail. ugh. i am not a wild and unsteady raccoon normally. i suffered from too much un-selfconsciousness that now i must pay.

Anonymous said...

Nothing can make me feel better--now that I missed MM's music fest and celebration. I am sad, sad, sad. And I can't believe I missed Sloth doing Flock O' Seagulls. Not fair.