Friday, August 12, 2005

Hole



I have found a hole big enough for Krakow and I. We will sit there and play jacks until the time is right to come out. There are beers in there, enough for both of us, at least for the morning, and pieces of beef jerky, with which we will tantalize each other. We are on a stationary mega-transport into the zones of push and tether.

77 comments:

Judd Specter said...

Please say hi to Krakow for me. I will bring him some kibbles next time I see him.

Sammy No Hands said...

I will bring you an aspic later, MM. You will get hungry and thirsty and aspic is good for both.

Anonymous said...

Aspic is for sissies.

mountain man said...

Thank you Sammy, an aspic will be most welcome. Worms in it would be good.

sloth said...

Sammy, how will you bring the aspic if you have no hands? Just curious.

GAS said...

Wormwood.

Sammy No Hands said...

Sloth, I have a board that I balance on my stumps. I carry it tray-like. It is peg board.

Sylvia said...

Hi Gas.

Mountain man said...

I am shaving with olive oil. Pimples are coming. There is a frydaddy in my hole. I will make popcorn shrimp later. Foods are for the frying.

Anonymous said...

I have a hole that needs a sexual plugging up.

Dilapidated said...

MM, I hope you have a nice time in the hole. Anonymous, I have a hammer that I can plug you up with, if need be.

Pete said...

Try to re-establish context after you get out of the hole. Don't lose sight of the signs.

sloth said...

dilapidated, would you plug the hole with the hammer, or would you use the hammer to whack something into the hole, like a hot dog or some other type of object?

Dilapidated said...

I was thinking I could plug up the hole with the hammer. I don't care about blood, I have towels with me.

Puke said...

I am all over Sammy's no hands. I feel guilty about having soiled his what's not there.

clefty said...

The winds of time blow my follicles in different directions. I am unsure of my path. my disfigurement is my charm.

Puke said...

Disfigurement is almost always charming, I find. There is no path that is not covered with puke, this is what I am learning. Physical defects outweigh mental. Mental are shunnable. I am damp and smelly. I am accumulating on all surfaces.

Anonymous said...

only physical disfigurements get the respect. That is why I formulated my own.

Puke said...

Maybe I can fashion a path out of puke. You can follow it to the area of poison purging and have ritual explusions of your innards. Innards are the proof of something, I forget what.

Puke said...

What does it look like?

blow hole said...

i to have a hole that needs sexual plumbing

Dilapidated said...

As I have already mentioned, I have a hammer. Or would you prefer a tool with a less horizontal shape? Like a plunger?

clefty said...

anonymous, you stole my post. My self-fashioned disfigurement is my cleft. hence the nick-name. I am a very literal person.

Sexual Plumber said...

I have a set of screwdrivers in my tool belt, access to an air compressor, and much in the way of rubber tubing and implements of push.

Anonymous said...

Where are you cleft, Clefty? In the palate? The lip? The tush?

Puke said...

I too am very literal.

Anonymous said...

I have a fear of details.

Anonymous said...

I think I may require anesthesia.

clefty said...

I have a cleft ear. On the left side. I thought about the palate but that was too obvious.

krixfort said...

Clefty, I saw you on the train today. I hope you don't mind that I stared at you.

Puke said...

Hmmm. A cleft ear. Trying to picture it. Must be a blight on some conversations. What does it feel like? Does it hamper your hearing at all? Can I puke on it?

clefty said...

puke, I understand you. I am feeling a connection between us.

blow hole said...

i too am ashamed of the extra tissue on my ass sphincter. sometimes i must be very attentive when i whipe

clefty said...

The cleft has amplified my hearing of all things left. I am somewhat liberal.

It feels like an ear, albeit a somewhat ragged one.

Krixfort, I would prefer that you didn't stare. Although I did this to myself, staring still makes me feel somewhat self conscious.

Puke said...

Cleft, I am touched. I am feeling a connection for sure. Blowhole, did you know that puke is an excellent lubricant? Perhaps I can help.

krixfort said...

Sorry clefty.

The next time I see you, I will fashion a fake cleft palate appendage to wear, that way I can help divert the staring.

Anonymous said...

Clefty you sound fascinating, I think I am falling in love. Do you play an instrument?

Sexual Plumber said...

Krix, there is only one problem with that, cleft palates are hard to see on the street. You have to have your mouth open, don't you? Maybe if you use a vise to open it (which I have) or perhaps a cleft forehead, making your forehead look like an ass?

Mountain Man said...

I have a closet full of forehead-mounted ass masks. Call me.

blow hole said...

puke, yes please. if i lay down with rump in the air, will you puke on my pink eye? no corn in the diet please.

clefty said...

Oh yes, anonymous. I am quite musical. I used to play the clarinet when I was younger. I still like to play the zither from time time.

moose said...

i have a wall mount for the forehead ass masks.

Puke said...

I had some corn last night, sorry. But I may have already gotten it out on my mom. I am ready, blowhole. Bend over please, you rotten sicky!

Anonymous said...

The zither is a magical instrument! Into the zone of nether!

Puke said...

Moose, I am getting ready to cover you in the tan chunks.

Puke said...

Moose, are you a head of a moose or a whole moose? Stuffed or real?

nether lips said...

I am in disguise. I am wearing wax lips.

krixfort said...

puke, you are a little raw.

Dilapidated said...

Wax Lips are sexy. Are you related to Spittle Lips? I am so upsetting.

krixfort said...

I heart wax lips! can I give you a kiss?

Puke said...

Krix, puke is part of life. Get into it. Smell the smell.

Clefty said...

I will kiss too.

puke said...

i am only a head puke, I do have mounts tough. would you mind?

Dilapidated said...

Is there a hole between the top and bottom wax lip? It can be hard to eat when there is no hole. Blowhole, would you care to weigh in on this?

blow hole said...

The Uvula of my anus is tingling puke! don't knock, just come right in!

Puke said...

Ummm, Moose, are you assuming the identity of Puke? Careful. My trajectory can be quite violent.

Yeah, Krixfort, I would like a little kiss too.

Puke said...

Wow, Blowhole. I don't know now. You are too eager. Play hard to get a little and maybe I will spew on you.

Anonymous said...

Anal nuggets and vomit. Lips that can't kiss. This is traumatic.

Corn Diet said...

Can I help in any way?

nether lips said...

There is a small hole in the wax lips, but not big enough for chunks, I'm afraid.

Anonymous said...

yeah i'm a little uneasy with all this below the belt action. blow hole do you need a pacifier? perhaps just a time out?

clefty said...

It was nice to meet you all. I must leave now and distribute pamphlets.

blow hole said...

Nether you are my kind of region. Puke I will have to refer to you as bile now. you led me on and i got hurt.

nether lips said...

I am peeking at you through the wax-lip hole. You are all very attractive.

echo said...

speaking of holes, i have a question fo rmountain mans ear hole. MM, what are your favorite bands, or music?

mountain man said...

Hmmm. Echo, that is a very pleasant question. Lately I have been listening a lot to

Bryan Ferry
Architecture in Helsinki (Thanks to FB)
Clap Your Hands Say Yeah (Thanks to Arthur)
Out Hud
The Cars
Early Reggae (like Toots and the Maytals)
Public Enemy

but anything that rolls around on my iPod is usally welcome.

mountain man said...

But as for favorite, probably my favorite of all time is early David Bowie. I heart glam rock. Also Aphex Twin is a favorite. Other stuff too, I can't think. How about you?

Anonymous said...

I heart David Bowie.

Puke said...

I think there should be a band named after moi. If only I could sing or play an instrument like Clefty, then I could start it myself.

Dilapidated said...

MM are you listening to your iPod in the hole?

Mountain Man said...

I am shining my silvery moon boots. Preparation for a journey into spank craters. Have placed antennae on head. Must divulge nothing. Stay in hole.

echo said...

excellent MM, i like your style. Personallly I'm stuck on Neutral Milk hotel, the unicorns, clap your hands, animal collective,the features, and clinic. david bowie is fantastic!

Anonymous said...

help I seem to have lost little boy blooming bottom

Anonymous said...

little boy?

Puke said...

Do you mean blowhole or someone else?

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