Thursday, August 25, 2005

Countywide Baby Show




These are the top three winners in the County Baby Show!!! Congratulations to you. (Baby Denim and Chewed Up Baby, I was sorry to hear you didn't make it to the final round.) The babies were placed on a pedestal, with their caregivers behind them to prop them up, if need be. The judges came around with clipboards and ballpoints, making notations and scoring according to categories like Best Brisket, Longest Haunches, Smallest Tail, etc. Then the tabulations were made...and these are the winners! I hope you will be able to make it to next year's show.

Yay for babies!!!

54 comments:

Anonymous said...

Ha.

fairy butler said...

number three!

Crotchgoblin said...

If I had known about this competition, I would have definitely entered. I am not technically a baby but due to my unusually large head, I can pass from time to time.

Abomination, I would love to rest my cards on your beef tallow bum. You can wrap my head in a do-rag anytime you like, I am not aversive to the touches. As long as it's not bad touch.

mountain man said...

Number three is the most exciting. He won a cheese tray, from what I recall. I heart small babies with tails.

PD, is this close to how you looked as a baby? Did you ever win any baby contests?

Chewed Up Baby said...

THESE BABIES ARE DISGUSTING!!!!!!!!! ESPECIALLY THE TOP TWO. YUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

mountain man said...

Chewed Up Baby...I smell sour grapes. Now, now. be a good sport. Congratulate the winners.

Large C*ck said...

I am so bummed I missed the baby show.

Anonymous said...

Large C*ck I suggest you stay away from babies.

tammi said...

i am scared of babies. i am scared of their toothless gummy smiles, their poo, their noisy howling. i hate them.

krixfort said...

babies are like tarantulas, fascinating to look at but I do not like to touch.

abomination said...

baby number two is getting ready to punch punch you LC. but i say, hey, take it easy little baby big mama A is here to protect. I bet I lure it away with my oily pheremones.

abomination said...

mm, it's time to get this party started. I've got my hawk cane back and a new batch of jello setting up in the fridge. partay. do you know my man fabeebles? he was asking me where he can buy some mountain attire.

Mountain Man said...

Fabeebles is welcome to borrow any of my clothes - I have dungarees, overalls with patches and paintings of old men on them, tambourines and swatches, MM's love swatch watches. I have straw hats and coon caps. I even have assless denim chaps for the more swinging nights out, for the feeling up and mesmerization of the hussies with fine fine MM ass cheeks on display. One at a time, ladies.

abomination said...

you are stoking my oily flames MM. I am sitting in a big tub of crisco thinking of bingo and beans.

Mountain Man said...

Abomination, you have a way with words. You are a darling. Now don't piss in the Crisco! Wait for me! Try to hold it in!!

pd said...

Hey now, MM. Number three is not me! I was not that cute and huggable as a wee lass. And I had a tail sprouting from my ass....

Is your nephew pictured anywhere???

endoplasmicreticulum said...

Are these babies spewing anything?

Mountain Man said...

I should totally post a pic of my little nephew guy. Have to find the right one...

Mountain Man said...

Spewing was not part of the contest, as far as I know. It was more about observable features rather than behavior. Number three is clearly the best one.

Fran said...

Babies depress me.

abomination said...

uh oh. sorry mm but fabeebs showed up and we had to mix it up.

reticulum major said...

I like the spew...especially green, lumpy spew.

Gorgon said...

I am diseased, does Crisco assist with this?

F Me said...

Yes, Crisco works for that.

Puke said...

I am reigning spew champion. Today it's purple due to a box wine in the morning.

ABDOMINALATION said...

There is a swirling inside. A hateful churning. There are flies. Please little babies, don't poo outside of your diapers.

hammy said...

The tuber menace is behind me. Here is the phone conversation.
"listen to me!! You sit and I don't want to hear it. Keep saying it now. I am telling you. If you want to sit and do as you want I am not going to talk about it. No. No. I have to go." Crash phone down. After the incoherent phone conversation the tuber stomps over to the printer and says, "This walk is not going to keep happening." Ham Paw. Do me a favor. Grab those papers for me."

Fat Belly said...

Is she talking to her dog? What can this mean?

Barbara Callen said...

She is incoherent. Are her eyes bloodshot? Does she sleep through the night? She could have severe anemia.

krixfort said...

hammy, she should get together with Crazy McCrazyson, my uber boss. They would get along famously, like gasoline and matches.

Mountain Man said...

Hi Krix. Do you have fists of metal? Just curious. Wanna have a fist fight some time? Just for fun?

Mountain Man said...

The crazies are coming. There is a sugary taste in my mouth and I can smell lemons. I think I have the plague.

Precious Moments said...

I have an eye widener, if anyone needs to borrow it. Large eyes are the hope of tomorrow.

hammy said...

I am the dog around here. She just yelled out. "HUG ME. I'm not going to be in tomorrow." There was cringing.
Krix, they need to get together and procreate more monsters. These will be tied up and used as rodeo props.

MM, you will be okay. First try the cinnamin tablets. The kind you find on cakes. Then a lemon flavored gum. this is the remedy.

krixfort said...

today I have fists of putty MM but tomorrow I will have fists of metal with long sharp knives poking out, like Wolverine.

Mountain Man said...

I would like to assemble a large rodeo, Ham Paw. A rodeo of evil and snarly type violence. Much punishment, blood and drooling, much pants-wetting. Lassoes are coming. YES.

Krix, you sound fierce. I would like to fight you but just for play, out of affection.

Liquid Pants Suit said...

Good morning friends and colleagues. Please beware of the double dippers. Today is a day for wieners.

fairy butler said...

it has come to my attetion that we do not speak enough of rodeos and rodeo-related items - running with the bulls, waving the red flag, angering the beast. i like it so much.

liquid panty suit said...

hi, the light is bright this morning. i am searching for the crevices. help!

Liquid Pants Suit said...

I would like to have a party with you panty suit. You are my partner. Let's square dance in the rodeo of life and hope for sparkly tinsel to come to us tomorrow and the day after. Rodeos. Hepped up horses. I need to consider this more. Do some research.

Rodeo Expert said...

Here are the basic events in a rodeo:

bareback riding
steer wrestling
team roping
saddle bronc
tie-down roping
barrel racing
bull riding

I am deeply into bareback riding.

krixfort said...

rodeo expert I think you forgot calf roping, an event which I myself have participated in.

Rodeo related topics have not been discussed nearly enough, I am thinking.

MM, I will fight nicely and fondly with you and will not bring out the fighting knives.

endoplasmic said...

I like to spew while riding bareback.

spamgasm said...

i am ready to burst out all over this bitch.

liquid panty liner said...

what about me??? hey, wait up!

rodeo clown said...

Does anyone have a spare spleen?

krixfort said...

I thought for sure one of those babies would be Mister Pants, MM.

Mountain Man said...

Krix, I am meaning to post a pic of Mr. Pants but must get the thumbs up on the right one from Bobo and Chichi. He is much cuter than these 2nd and 3rd place babies. But not as good as No. 1. (Sorry Mr. Pants).

I am wanting to think more about the rodeo. But also: exciting news!!! Myself and Uncle Fritz are headed to a Demolition Derby tomorrow night. I am hoping to get some fine pix and post them on Sunday. FB has warned me rightly to bring ear plugs. I am excited for corn dogs and smashups.

PD said...

Where is the demo derby?? Sounds like fun! Be careful MM--no accidents before the wedding.

fairy butler said...

i hope you and uncle fritz will consider your outfits wisely. (for spying)

Mountain Man said...

PD, we are wearing full-padding protection to ensure safety. No hurties. Just spying and picture-taking.

Hot dogs are the ideal that I want to consume tonight.

krixfort said...

That sounds like so much fun MM! smashes and crashes!

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