The rotation sensor devices are in correct alignment. The beige carpet provides pre-sanctuary before the bots come to smooth out the tangles and pick the pustular weedy nodules. Dig, pull and dump - these are the ways of the bots. The visitors have left, the landscape is tumbly with gunshots. I am off to collect more critters for taxidermy.
67 comments:
I keep imagining that a large ogre with one eye and a chainsaw is coming to knock on my door. To defend myself I would call the small but wily orange newts to battle. Hopefully their large numbers would distract and eventually consume the ogre, disappearing him. Perfumey lozenges would be the leftover spoils. Throat-soothing lozenges.
I am in a tangle that is like a yoga tangle but also unlike a yoga tangle in that I cannot undo myself.
Hmmm. I believe I must prescribe an orthotic brace and pressure hose for both of you. Lumbar support and thrombus prevention is a priority in these fetid waxy times. Please visit an outfitter as soon as possible. Pretzel, you may need someone to wheel you in a wagon if you cannot ambulate on your own.
Kisses,
Dr. W
Pretzel, I will come get you with my wheelbarrow. Sadly I have no wagon. But if you are small-ish, you ought to fit in the sunken area of the barrow. I will delight you with bird calls during our journey to the outfitter.
Hi!
which bird calls do you know MM? Do you know the call of the raven or the song of the speckled hen?
Krix, I am not familiar with the call of the raven. However, I am an Xpert at the call of the thunderbird as well as the whipoorwill. I am still learning. My calls are very much more gutteral than the real thing.
What is a thunderbird?
The thunderbird is a notion from the heavens that soars broadly with wide wingspan. I don't really know what it looks like, I just hear its infernal bellowing all day and night. It may be a figment.
I am collecting Mars Bars in my hope chest. This chest represents hope for the future. I felt that chocolate bars with a mysterious name could be the beacon of symbolic hope. The bars I would collect if I lived in England would have spicier names like:
Topic
Liaison
Tiger
Minstrels
Bounty
There are others but I cannot recall them now. I wish I was a British Mountain Man living on the rabid moors with unsheared sheep.
You need to calm down. You've had too much candy already today, I can tell.
You may be right, anonymous. I will practice yoga, being careful not to alarm myself into a pretzel shape. Then I am off to the orthotic specialist.
I can mime bird calls. They are the gestural calls of the wild.
Sammy, I truly hope to meet you one day. Please help me not to stare at your stumps.
I will provide my stumps with puppets for your entertainment. It will be mellow-dramatic.
sammy, are your stumps poisonous?
I am oiling my snakeskin belt.
I am chewable like the baby aspirin from days of yore. I help nothing yet I continue to hover.
Chewable Effluvia can be hard on the stomach, from what I understand. I would like you to hover in spite of this.
MM, may I borrow your bots? There are tumbleweeds in Log that need herding. They are growing in size every day, and are taking on animate qualities. They are beginning to overwhelm Wandee and her implements of order.
Yes my darling Slothers. Bots for you, bots for all. The bots are eager pickers, pokers and cleaners.
slothy please send the bot army over when you are finished with them. I have an assignment for them. It is a secret.
10-4, oh Krix. They will be ready for action when they are done with Roomba duty.
I itch. Thunderbird, please scratch me with a sharp talon until I am bleeding from multiple lesions.
Moustache I give you my sharpness to cut and cut. The multiple wounding, lightly scratching will be rejuvinating, like a surgery.
Thunderbird. Does this scratching stimulate hair growth? I would like to dangle ridiculously.
The scratching is stimulato of the follicles. Yes! You will dangle and curl at your ends in no time. A long swooping elegant moustache.
May I have the bots after you, Krix? The poodles need continual shuffling. It is tiring work.
How excellent, TB! I will need to fashion some kind of winding-apparatus, a kind of a reel, for auto safety. I don't want to pull an Isadora Duncan.
It's definitely important to shuffle the poodles. It keeps them off-balance and reduces the chances of a coup.
Moustache, as for winding, perhaps you need the bots as well. Winding is easy for them, they have a secret stash of pinwheels.
Sloth I adore you. You are calming, like a balmy breeze of the days of yes.
poodle shuffler, you may certainly have the bots. They are for everyone!
Thank you Krix. In the meantime, do you require any poodle shufflement?
I am in love with the dark side of love.
I am in love with the rough and tumble side of love.
MM, Slothy has heart-eyes for you, too.
Hellow... . Nice to see ur blog :D
www.armandoz.blogspot.com
Thanks for the offer poodle shuffler but alas, I have no poodles. You are sweet.
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Why does Ham Paw never write anything?
eye am addicted to bots. they are my best friends. it is eye who cleans up after them because they undercharge themselves as they siphon potent liquids. eye am thinking of putting up a bot rehab center for their future.
Anonymous, Ham Paw is on leave, shoo.
Monster Spank I am glad to hear of your intense bot-relationship. Any wisdom you can share would be of great interest to me. A rehab center is a timely idea - the bots are getting a workout in these last days.
have the bots hit bottom yet? (this one is for pd)
schnarf schnarf schnarfs is all i can say today. SCHNARF
schnarf schnarf!!!!
I only want to rub an open FACED LASAGNA SANDWICH BETWEEN MY THIGH'S
yes schnarf, very much so
hiya MM you sexy beast!
have you bound and waxed any hussies lately?
Hi Krix! I have 2 hussies bound and suspended from the rafters in my shed. They will not stop thanking me. The waxing has not happened yet but is on my list for tonight. Until then, may the blood rush to their hussy heads. I am in heart with these ragged girls. I may teach them to speak the Schoonmaker.
ohhhhh the schoonmaker is a double tipped tongue talk! that could backfire
Gord...is that short for Gordon?
unfortunately I was named after my deformity
oh dear gord, are you possibly related to clefty of cleft ear fame? please describe your deformity.
Oh my god! Like I am so mad. I am ignoring you now.
seventh grader, isn't it past your bedtime?
Gnarly snarleys are crawling up my calves. I shaved my calves this morning. I am dancing and drooling, so happy and fiddlesticky.
7th grader, you must take a nap permanently.
Hi and sorry to the one who knows about it.
おはようのmountaian 人
uomo della montagna di buona mattina
de goede mens van de ochtendberg
My international posse and I would like to wish you "good morning Mountain man!"
I'm opening up a bottle of tequila MM. Want some?
Good morning goblin and international children of time in the universe! I am drinking potions already, as is my way. I am communing with the delightful visitors, we are making a trek into the woods to caarve old man faces in every tree. It could take a very long time. Drunk, we will think we are working faster.
hey MM, what kind of critters have you collected for taxidermy?
any hoot-owls, or razorbacks?
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