Friday, July 01, 2005

the formula

Here is the formulation. The temperature of the half brain should be above normal, That is considerably hotter than the temperature of the anus and the intestinal passage. The artworks are conceived in both parts with the brain as the conductor and the anus as the brush. Here are the moments of grandeur. There is a figurative cape and wand. This is a temporary art state, which is traded in for panic in the making which is then traded for listlessness. The relic is best when beyond reach, not falling into repetitive pile. The common pile is biggest. Listlessness is here and the intestine is cold.


mountain man said...

Hi Ham. The listlessness is phase 1. Please be patient and await the meditative qualities of phase 2, they are coming for you, as you deserve them greatly. Let's all intuit Happy Birthday measures for PD. Waves of gumdrop energy through the ether for her and her tail.

Corduroy Heart said...

There is no common pile near Ham. Ham only has uncommon pile, not to be confused with piles which are painful, which I hope Ham does not have.

Anonymous said...

Ass Art, like ala Keith Boadwee?

Street Fighter said...

HP maybe you need a doggie rumble to remember your powers.

Corduroy Heart said...

Ass Art may be part of the equation, anonymous, but perhaps less directly than Mr. Boadwee. The ass is part of the origin myth but not part of the result in terms of brown-outs. I am unsure.

Jasper Janx said...

HP cold intestines are good with rice crackers, maybe unravel yours out your tum and eat them just for a change of pace. I'm just saying.

Anonymous said...

Good luck HP with your relic-making.

ham paw said...

Hi MM, Good Morning to you. I am in the eye of the illness, but I hope for phase two. I will sit with my anus and work anyway, hoping for no ruination. Corduroy has good point on the creation myth. I will believe in the ass-centric position for a few days and report back. Cordy, are you and MM dating? Please beware of candy.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PD!!!!! May gumdrops and oxy pleasures erupt from the earth before you in happy clusters.

ham paw said...

jasper, are you a lion?

PD said...

thanks for your B-day wishes MM and HP! I am presently trying to chase away another migraine that began last night. But I think it is going....

I am going to enjoy the pleasures of fine dining throughout the day...without a thought to the intestines or anus. I will pay later.

ham paw said...

little B-day girl, I have many migrains too. I call out to the gods to take this one away. may your birthday be food rich and free of the headache!!!!

fairy butler said...

Pre-birthday migraine no fair! I will send my butler to keep any others at bay today. He will also bring a large basket of edible flowers for you PD on your birthday!!! They are multi-flavored; onion, peach blossom, corn, licorice, mint, soybean, turkey, etc.

My panicked relics are all falling into the repetitive, common pile as of late. Therefore I destroy. It is best for all of humanity this way.

pd said...

Cake is needed post haste

fairy butler said...

PD, can we dedicate a desert item as offering for your birthday at the tent jamboree on Monday? Happy Birthday PD and USA?

krixfort said...

PD I am baking you a fancy cake made of ones and zeros and butter cream frosting. I hope you are not lactose intolerant.

ham paw said...

Fb, Don't toss your relics!!!!! Wait please. there is salvaging and the panicky feel is temporary. the intestinal tracings are sometimes blocked and will open later. The half brain is just warming up.
Today I am stepping away from the relics. If I can. The not making is sometimes more difficult than the making. There is itchiness either way.

ham paw said...

definitely stepping away. they are taunting me.

mountain man said...

PD eat all day with no fuss or muss, this is the way of the birth canals. We should most definitely dedicate cake to PD on Monday. Excellent ideations. Ham and Fairy, your makings are sure to look better to you later, this is also the way of the fruity birth canals. It is time to be born in superpower form. Hi Krix. Turkey flavored gumdrops to you today.

PD said...

You guys are swell. Thanks FB!! The turkey flavored blossoms are my fava-flave. (speaking of is fabeebles?) Thanks for the Krix-Kake! I will hold you to the Zeppelin tune you promised.

I am relaxing to the sounds of Fleetwood Mac right now.

Sushi Blameful said...

Dark now, no sun. Inside moon reflects luck. One. Only. Waiting mind.

Producer said...

Mountain Man, I want you to know I am working on a plan to rid my blog of the mean people. As of now my first blog won't accept comments from anyone but soon I will find a way to better my blog and get rid of the evil. I will find a way to defeat the evil people who attack me and others on my blog.

I will find a legal way or I will just leave my A.J Speaks Out Blog behind as a decoy and will use one of my other two blogs. I don't want to lose you as a friend Mountain Man, and if we stay strong We will defeat those who would attack the innocent.

Mountain Man, and any other person who wants to contact me please e-mail me use

Mountain Man, please send me an e-mail so that I know you have read this comment.

Goblin said...

Dear Troll,
I have not heard from you for awhile so I thought I would write. I am living in limbo and have not been able to come out and play. My Twister mat is torn and faded. My cribbage board is covered in dust. I have discovered every way possible to cheat at solitaire. I hope you are well. I miss you and I want to play monopoly.


P.S. send me an email if you read this comment.

fairy butler said...

Hi MM & HP! It is glorious singing skies today. Relic shack awaits. No human contact today. I am done puking now.

Troll said...

Dear Goblin,

What a relief to hear from you. I have been troglodytish, hiding in my cave near the stump by the dead tree behind the bog in the woods. It is tres lonely there, although very beautiful. I am staring longingly at my stack of games and wanting very much to resume play. Please meet me by the shed and we will tromp deep into the woods to resume important playtime range-energies. I am half a troll if I do not play.



Play said...

Play is very important. Say "Yes" to play.

mountain man said...

the decision is that i am leaving and not coming back. i am disappearing into the woods and ether and merging with moss. i cannot bear another second of the shitsmear. it is final, like the fly on the windscreen. motherfucker.

Gertrude said...

I am leaving too. I will hold your hand during the slow descent to the stinking underslabs. I am desperate to leave and want the mixed up end times to begin now.

Anonymous said...

i would like to come too. i will leap off the precipice with a juice carton attached to my lips. i like juice.

'Thought & Humor' said...

We work like a horse.
We eat like a pig.
We like to play chicken.
You can get someone's goat.
We can be as slippery as a snake.
We get dog tired.
We can be as quiet as a mouse.
We can be as quick as a cat.
Some of us are as strong as an ox.
People try to buffalo others.
Some are as ugly as a toad.
We can be as gentle as a lamb.
Sometimes we are as happy as a lark.
Some of us drink like a fish.
We can be as proud as a peacock.
A few of us are as hairy as a gorilla.
You can get a frog in your throat.
We can be a lone wolf.
But I'm having a whale of a time!

You have a riveting web log
and undoubtedly must have
atypical & quiescent potential
for your intended readership.
May I suggest that you do
everything in your power to
honor your encyclopedic/omniscient
Designer/Architect as well
as your revering audience.

Please remember to never
restrict anyone's opportunities
for ascertaining uninterrupted
existence for their quintessence.

There is a time for everything,
a season for every activity
under heaven. A time to be
born and a time to die. A
time to plant and a time to
harvest. A time to kill and
a time to heal. A time to
tear down and a time to
rebuild. A time to cry and
a time to laugh. A time to
grieve and a time to dance.
A time to scatter stones
and a time to gather stones.
A time to embrace and a
time to turn away. A time to
search and a time to lose. A
time to keep and a time to
throw away. A time to tear
and a time to mend. A time
to be quiet and a time to
speak up. A time to love
and a time to hate. A time
for war and a time for peace.

Best wishes for continued ascendancy,

P.S. One thing of which I am sure is
that the common culture of my youth
is gone for good. It was hollowed out
by the rise of ethnic "identity politics,"
then splintered beyond hope of repair
by the emergence of the web-based
technologies that so maximized and
facilitated cultural choice as to make
the broad-based offerings of the old
mass media look bland and unchallenging
by comparison."

'Thought & Humor' by Howdy
Cyber-Humor, Cyber-Thought
Cyber-Riddles for your divertissement!!!

Someone said...

I am angry to not be connected to the hose of reality, the hose I need to fill myself with sustenance. I am dying in the porpoise of negation. My hose is escaping even though it is a hose that states its loyalty to my sustenance initation problems. I still cannot believe the loyalty of this hose, no matter what this hose states. The problem is mine, not the hose's and I apologize, hose. Hose. You are too much for me not to have you wrapped around my torso and feeding me micro-enhanced waterstuffs. I succumb to the dirts and brownings. It seems as if you have gone limp in my accidental absence, although I know you are probably still a very green, very healthy new hose. Sadness.

mountain man said...

Hose may or may not want your encroachments. Hose may. Hose probably does. But hose may also have its own hose responsibilities and hose nepotisms and hose ideations that require hose to part ways with your lawn of tinkling needs. Good luck to you Someone. You sound thirsty. Hose offers drinks and wetness. Please ask properly for what you need. Maybe slowly unwind hose and turn nozzle. Maybe that is all that hose requires, all that hose wants from you.

Hose said...

Someone. Listen. You are an idiot. I have offered my hose qualities to you over and over. I cannot do any more than that. I must go play with my other hose friends and nozzles. I must retract and find favorites in the grasses. You are a pint of juvenalia. Please slumber for several years and by osmosis receive the decisive wisdom you need to continue living. You are a twit.

Someone said...

The hose of reality is back in alignment. MM you were right, the nozzle just needed jiggling. The hose is pumping its hosestuffs onto the grasses now. All is right. I am a twit but maybe less than I was yesterday.

Sushi Blameful said...

Much cycles, many suns. Inside strong if heard listening. Wall self with flowers, okay, like stone and many grasses. Wet knowledge converted blameless. Mountain develop grand.

Peg Leg said...

I hate yelping dogs who yap at my shoes and pee on them. I want them to drown in the deep waters that they have deepened themselves with their annoying pants and scruffy furballs. I am off on a raft trip that does not concern any dogs. It will be a solo trip with diseases and starvation maybe. This is as I want it.

Anonymous said...

Ok , that God is giving you the ok sign is for sure. Hot peppers on lips. Night.

goblin said...

Troll. I am ready to meet you by the shed. I am bringing an arsenal of games for maximum fun.


hopscotch and soda said...

I have some great games. How about "Blind Man's Bluff."

randy said...

How about "Bind Women's Stuff?"

mountain man said...

Randy, funny! Very tip-top shape funny. It is morning on the day of the explosions and bang bangs. I am feeling myself curdle already and it's not even 8. I am on an anti-curdle mission today. A war is being waged in my middle, the cowboys vs. the indians. See you later.

Anonymous said...

Have a nice cup of dark roast with frothy cream and make it the french and indians vs the cowboys.

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