Saturday, June 04, 2005

What I Hate About Puppets

Is that they come over for a snack and then they refuse to leave - they make themselves comfortable and stay for days. Last night, very late, three puppets knocked on my door. They have now taken shelter in my home. Their ever-wide eyes and stiff mugs watch my every move and penalize me with the wisecracking. Sudsy is sitting on the porch, while Bellows is nestled in the grass. Mr. Dank is by far the most menacing. He has opened his cloak to reveal his wares and sits alarmingly in my bedroom, making sleep impossible. I will have to come up with a plan to poison them and cause a dwindling that is permanent. These sketchy interlopers must be bashed.

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18 comments:

Jodi said...

Oh oh oh!!!! I AM SO ALARMING!!!!

Hairy Back said...

This is very dastardly, MM you need to watch out.

Sudsy said...

We are not leaving, you can be sure of this. We are here to eat your Corn Pops and menace you with constant jittery laugh attacks. You are to be fouled with MM, you are the source of much ridicule!!!

fairy butler said...

No, Mr Dank! No! Stay back! You made need to resort to Plan B. cuts.

Fred said...

Mr. Dank is the worst one, by far. He seems to be in possession of a false penis, much in the manner of the Hyena False Penis. What to do???

Urchin said...

I have met puppets before who stay for days in your house but have always appreciated their feedback-ful visitation. It is wise to absorb the crackings of the puppets, they know more than you about you.

mountain man said...

Mr. Dank breathes heavily. They are more like heaves.

krixfort said...

sudsy the puppet reminded me of a story about a pirate.

sloth said...

The puppets are easily manipulated, and could be turned against each other. Dwindle Mr. Dank first, Sloth thinks. Pour the poison in his eye-holes.

Hyena false penis said...

I am the false penis. Jeff Corwin can't leave me alone.

ham paw said...

MM, dear guy, you are loved. Lets coral the puppets and make them talk.

ham paw said...

Mr Dank saluted me with his member. He is not menacing, but talented. But he worries. he must take blood thinner for his heart and his member suffers. This is of grave concern to him and far worse than his grave illness and waning menace. Please lets give him a hand.

Anonymous said...

Like a hand job?

mountain man said...

Tonight I consumed ferret meat for the first time, It was slightly sour to the tongue but interesting seeming for sure. I had it sliced thinly on a toast I should not consider consuming but did anyway. Mr. Dank is still here, his member shrivels in the windy night air. He is unashamed.

I am considering the tubers tonight, as tangible manifestations of my love for the world. I think that the tubers need to enter me this night. Please do not be afraid, it is a nature/love axis practice that is very pleasurable.

Dirk said...

I am wanting to participate with tuber enhancements. Please call me.

sloth said...

Tubers are a deluctious accompaniment to sliced ferret grillé, MM. Sloth suggests a Medoc with that.

nardlet said...

Bravo, Ham Paw! Bravo, Uncle F!

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