Wednesday, May 18, 2005

My Henchmen

I would like to introduce you to my henchman:

.

From left to right, Phillipe, Charles, Bainbridge and Saphire. They are capable and at the ready. I conducted many interviews and found these four to be the most highly qualified for interspecies protectants and anti-detritus foundation practices.

BTW I conferred with PD tonight on many topics. She was supportive and provided me with reams and dossiers of information on everything I could use in my conductivity training seminar breechments. It was good. And may I add she had the look of the fabulous about her. Zig Zag! is what I thought when I beheld her. That is good.

Goodnight until the morning, when it will be goodmorning. I will not say this to you then.

64 comments:

Partial Payment Plan said...

I like the tall one with the booby showing. Hot stuff. I want to caress him. Is he into bad touch?

Girth of Wideness said...

I am jealous of their lithe manliness. I belive they all delight in bad touch, you can tell by their perky smiles.

Nipple meter said...

I love these guys and their torn coverings!

postmoderndebunker said...

I had a vanglorious time conferring and conspiring over morsels of delectability. The seminar will be a success based on the diagrams and notebooks you shared with me.

Thanks for the vote of confidence about the Zig Zag maneuver.

left nip said...

pinch me! I am like a tiny pink fried egg.

ham paw said...

Dear henchmen. I have a job for you if your services may be shared. Pug is still at large. Please make it stop!

Henchman Bainbridge said...

I am available to do your bidding, Ham Paw. As soon as the others wake I will tell them of your requirements. Please consult us on all negative fabrications and/or machinations.

ham paw said...

Pug is insistent. A yeller with cropped hair and a shreaky bark. A magic muzzel may help. Otherwise a public worming.

Henchman Saphire said...

Yes Ham Paw. I am ready. Also I was thinking of stoning with snowdomes. I have a collection that I use as weapons when the circumstances warrant it.

postmoderndebunker said...

Ham Paw, I can get Luigi DiGiorno to take care of Pug for you.

Helpful said...

Luigi and I are eating cheese danishes in his pantry. When we are finished I will release him to do his worst on any offending party. Luigi is allergic to lactose and gluten so these pastries are not the best for him. Don't mind him if he walks with a crouch and a limp due to stomach cramping. He may have foul smelling emissions as well.

stigma said...

i am adhering to some of you.

postmoderndebunker said...

Luigi sounds a lot like another friend of mine--poor guy.

ham paw said...

yes. pug is deserving of these treatments. Luigi please spread your warm emmisions!

Luigi DiGiorno said...

I do nota hava warm, how do you call it, emissions. I hava a super sharpa deli slicer. Thisa will fix him good.

krixfort said...

I know of some hookers who need to be slain by the henchmen. I don't know if slaying is in their jopb description but surely they could come close? Close enough to prevent hookers from bothering any longer? yes? no?

Henchman Bainbridge said...

Yes Krixfort. We will come close to slaying. In fact it will be better than slaying, I can promise you such. Talk to me about her proportions and the fabric of her hooker outfit. I have some ideas about programming and taser-focused lancing and burning.

Thirst Quencher said...

These guys are as sexy as the day is loooooong!

Competetive Henchman Squad said...

This girly bunch of henchmen are not for real. We are the Henchman Squad whos headquarters is across the street from this Goon Squad and we happen to know our equipment and diagnostic capacities are more cutting edge and possess extra surges of power from wood sprites. Please. Saphire? He is too large for that little tiny booby. My booby is much more in proportion with the rest of me.

Spectator said...

Maybe a Hench-off is in order?
Perhaps competitive, that is with an "i," Sprite Throwing and a Wormhole Obstacle Course.

Competitive Henchman Squad said...

Spectator, please excuse the spelling error, we were anxious to shout out our prowess and forgot to take the care we needed with letters. We are busy fortifying our sensors. We are more secretive than the lousy Goon Squad pictured above.

Henchman Philippe said...

Do not pay any attention to these competitive tree-huggers. Their equipment is faulty and they do not take the risks necessary to accomplish the proper ratios of doom to fear. They maneuver with lackluster technique and have no "ins" with the sprites. This information is misinformation.

Spectator said...

CHS,
I understand. Speed and Stealth are highly prized in competition, but accuracy wins the day, as does sexiness and yearning.

Thirst Quencher said...

This fight could get sweaty!

mountain man said...

These Henchmen are not sexy. They yearn for violence and vengeance, yet sex appeal is something they will never succeed in. CHS, I am afraid I will stick with my original henchmen. I have established trusting bonds with each one and happen to like their out of proportion boobies. Please stop soliciting my business.

Wacky Waffler said...

I am glad you are so well protected Mountain Man. These are the times that try men's boobies.

Anonymous said...

Do your henchmen have any superpowers or special talents, besides henching?

krixfort said...

It seems that henching is all they would need to focus on although I thought I saw Bainbridge bar-backing at Ned's.

mountain man said...

Henching takes up most of their time. Yes Bainbridge barbacks at Ned's. He is a mole there, watching, waiting, just in case a perpetrator comes in to foul our fun.

Pitoyard said...

Hello. I am from faraway. Do not fear me, I am not Dutch. I have jam smeared on me and a lazy attitude. I have come to say greetings and good day.

flinch said...

"barbacks"... or "barebacks?"

thirst quencher said...

I like the drinks at Ned's. They all come with fancy multicolored sticks and straws.

Nicotine inhaler said...

What is there left in this world that is sane and wholesome? Things have changed so much since the days when all was moral and cigarettes only cost $1.00 a pack.

mountain man said...

Pitoyard you are smelly, a Frenchman, in my estimation. Nicotine Inhaler I think you need to go screw yourself.

Nicotine Inhaler said...

I already have screwed myself by starting this nasty habit that threatens to block my blood vessels. I'm sad. I'm doomed.

Nicorette said...

Chew me!

sloth said...

I tried the patch once, but it stuck to my fur.

Nicotine Inhaler said...

Well you need to shave a spot so that the patch can transderm.

sloth said...

NI, is it true that you make for more smartness, or is that a myth?

Nicotine Inhaler said...

'tis true, 'tis true.
I am smarter than the average intoxicant.

sloth said...

Sloth will try the transderm, then. Sloth is ready for a smart patch.

smart patch said...

I will transmogrify your mind.

krixfort said...

can I be a henchman? I am always looking for new undertakings.

ham paw said...

YES you may. Also I will watch the spectacle. I am a watcher and a slayer in one. I am like Buffy.

ham paw said...

Lets cross out the meanies.

slayer said...

You are not like Buffy. How dare you, you meat fisted one. Buffy is lithe.

Slayer, the band said...

Rock til you drop.

mountain man said...

Ham Paw, you are a chronicler of days, a channeler of messages. Tell us again about the puzzles on the wall and the dead one.

ham paw said...

who is the dead one if not myself?

ham paw said...

The puzzels are the imagery of Satan. be clear headed and walk away from the nightmare of your inner eyes of the intestinal tractlings. It is not right. I am looking at it and it is not. there must be an organizing prinicle, an orderly functionary to approach and parcel. To form long lines and put the morsels into a complete and wholesome placement. I am the answering one when there is not answer. My friends. Please learn the new organizational principle.

chicken dancer said...

Your principles are hogwash. Go away HP. YOu are a tool.

ham paw said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
krixfort said...

no chicken dancer no. Ham Paw is not a tool in the way you infer. He is a tool to help you attain higher knowledge and much wisdom.

ham paw said...

I am very sensitive. I have just emaerged from the photocopier.

follower of ham paw said...

what did you copy? Was it double sided? How about collated?

krixfort said...

ham paw, you didn't use the stapler did you?

ham paw said...

I did use the stapler. It was alarming. My hands are very large. They get stuck sometimes in the paper drawer.

krixfort said...

ham paw, meet me for a drink. I'll get you one with an umbrella.

I suppose that doesn't work with your holistic teachings though.

I want to talk about the cleansing.

ham paw said...

krixfort. i would like that. Alcohol is cleansing for many things and wants. you are cherished.

krixfort said...

oh Ham Paw. I forgot to give you the location. My mind. It's going.

Iguana said...

What's the deal with these guys?

ShedThosePounds said...

I definitely like your site, bookmarked!

I've got a quit smoking related site. It covers quit smoking related articles.

Drop by when you can.

unixlinux said...

Nice blog. Check out my stray cat blog.

ShedThosePounds said...

You have a awesome blog!

I've got a quit smoking site. It's about quit smoking related info.

Come see when you can..