Tuesday, April 19, 2005

Try

Try to remember the paw of the mind reaching out for FUN! Because today is a harrowing journey from start to finish. The weeps are coming on strong. MM has to move this way and that through the tunnels and around the pylons. He will try to stay within his assigned quadrant but he can make no promises. A visit to the rotund of foul one is part of today. MM must not chicken out again as he did on Friday. Focus!!! Make counting part of the day. Choose something strange to count and play a game of C*NT ALERT without the C*NTs.

MM is running late. He needs to trim his nose hairs.

157 comments:

Modernista said...

I am counting the hours til we meet again.

fairy butler said...

My butler is creating a forcefield of protection around you. It will not be easy but the rotund one must not win! Once he is vanquished then the jubilations can begin. Think of this joy!!!! Have your jet pak ready mm and count clouds.

krixfort said...

yes MM, jetpacks and signalling flags are called for today.

squirrel said...

Tease your chest hairs up real high, a thick 'fro of Mountain Man to meet the rotund skittish one, bushy your tail, he cannot bounce you. Hold him forth, lock his arms behindst him, make eye contact (this always afears the evasive) and speak slowly, don't answer right away, make him dart and scurry.
Otherwise think of every lightpost as the Paw of Zogg, every tree branch soft kitty love, and prance your way through the muck and mire that surrounds you today. Glory be our choices...
Good Luck!

Elizabeth Bishop said...

Poetry will preserve you.

bob said...

Alcohol will preserve you better.

GAS said...

Rasberry.

Semaphoric Poesy said...

Krixfort knows.
"From Brooklyn, over the Brooklyn Bridge, on this fine morning/Please come flying."

Bleet said...

Bob, alcohol may pickle you but it will not ultimately preserve you the way you may want.

I enjoy poetry from time to time.

Sam Sheepherd said...

Fall in line Bleet.

Anonymous said...

I like to tease squirrels. I am in one nation under paws. There is someone I know who is hurting me with their malformed hammer hands.

Bleet said...

Contrary to what certain people seem to think, I am not a sheep. I am a person who lives by a lake. I have a boat that I row with spiritually damp oars.

tousled hair said...

i am good as distractant. it feels nice.

krixfort said...

I like you tousled hair. please come live on my head!

tousled hair said...

i will come over as soon as i am done with mountain man. he has loads of hair to tousle. he is getting very much more relaxed. you are next krixie!!!

mountain man said...

I have, in the last 15 minutes, developed a dangerous addiction to morphine. I am fully out of control.

Hey Krix, is there a semaphore website? There are a few words I don't know yet.

Bleet said...

I know a little semaphore MM. I will try to compile a dictionary for you today.

I am comprised of only myself today. It is downletting.

Sushi Blameful said...

Downlet no, Bleet. Self much luck. Only self get good sun.
Mountain, careful about pill; drug no luck. Try soy.

mountain man said...

I love my morphine dependency. It is so next to me and all around me. Love!

mountain man said...

I am allergic to soy.

Sushi Blameful said...

Much sorrow.
So sorry, Man Mountain, no good sun, I must blame you.
Must count now.

Sushi Blameful said...

sixty-seven, sixty-eight.....

Sushi Blameful said...

nine and hundred, ten and hundred....

Sushi Blameful said...

two and twenty and hundred, three and twenty and hundred...

Sushi Blameful said...

five and forty and hundred, six and forty and hundred.....

Sushi Blameful said...

seven and seventy and hundred, eight and seventy and hundred...

Sushi Blameful said...

one and two hundreds, two and two hundreds...

Sushi Blameful said...

four and thirty and two hundreds, five and thirty and two hundreds...

Sushi Blameful said...

nine and fifty and two hundreds, sixty and two hundreds...

Sushi Blameful said...

eighty and two hundreds, one and eighty and two hundreds...

Sushi Blameful said...

four and twenty and three hundreds, five and twenty and three hundreds..

mountain man said...

Sushi, this is tremendously intense. Why are you counting? WHy are you so blameful?

Sushi Blameful said...

seven and ninety and three hundreds, eight and ninety and three hundreds...
many counting.....

mountain man said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Sushi Blameful said...

No dispraise, Mountain. Much remedy and luck; you count soon and pink sky come.

happy jappy said...

sushi - you county so high!

mountain man said...

He county so high it touch the sky.

Wineskin said...

MM why has thou foresaken me?

Sushi Blameful said...

Duration bring much sun and luck. Pink moon capable bring delight. Much high count much repute.

happy jappy said...

soooooooooooooo high- yes- hi

W said...

hey jappy we fukin burned your ass in WWII

mountain man said...

W. WHo do you consider yourself to be? Are you W. for Wolf? Are you bigoted? Are you a Welshman?

W said...

i was fucking riased by wolves! and i can count better than that piece of shitcock burn victom sushi. i'd eat her raw!

fabeebles said...

me so horny

mountain man said...

Wow, W, you sound angry all grrr like. You have to admit though, that sushi counted very interestingly. Honestly I don't think I've seen that type of counting before.

Hi Fabeebles. Would you like to get engrossed with me in the overalls I am wearing beneath my jumpsuit?

hmmmmm said...

i could go for some nice strawberry shortcake

Bleet said...

W. We still would like to know what this is short for. Whining? Warlike? Wang-tastic?

mountain man said...

Strawberry shortcake is for tard-whiffs. (No offense).

Chud said...

It is too terrifying to wonder about whether or not people like this drink sweet juice or the sugar free kind. I think it is unlimited. It is two for one today.

Slobbering Boss said...

I am draining out my mouth on your neck. Watch yourself.

happyjappy said...

i loved the counting, made me feel like i was counting my steps up to the top of mount Fuji

i heart mountain man said...

tard whiffs! i love it!!

Vulgar Blogger said...

I am going to smear rat poo all over my anus. I know you are all tired of this brown territory but I think it's great. I am going to smear someone's mouth on it. Who wants to go first?

fabeebles said...

I waz jus singing my favorite rappity rap for today in honor of sushi's counting. She's gots some class that one.

Smear said...

Stop misusing me. I am of another level of terminology, much smarter.

fairy butler said...

W, I know who you are! Arthur!!!

mountain man said...

I would like to hear this rap Fabeebles, you sex machine.

Vulgar Blogger said...

MIss Fairy B, I am afraid it will have to be you, first up to have your face smeared in a rat poo tainted anus.

W said...

fairy buttler I have to pistols poised to blow your inner asshole out...carefull where you slur your slander

mountain man said...

My goodness! What alarming talk. How has it come to pass? I like. I am slipping into the whirlpool of indignation and righteouslessness.

W said...

and i got a plate of warm bukkake waiting for you vulgar

mountain man said...

what is that W? i am afraid to know. i am frozing.

fairy butler said...

vulgar, please direct your poo to some other. i am currently being tortured with artifical freon breezes and dry eyes. There must be another who is willing to smear. take pity, have a hear. I cannot feel my face.

fairy butler said...

W. I am going to tell mom.

mountain man said...

my nose is cold too and my eyes are dry!! also my mouth and it is not quenched by sody pop. i hate the shivery cold, FB. it is unfair.

Vulgar Blogger said...

W and I have just smeared things on each other. No offense to Smear. Smear is a snob. It was fun, we are too smelly and brown for words. It is deep inappropriate.

fairy butler said...

my sody pop machine is empty except for gingerale. no! The candy dispenser has only dry pretzels, almond joy, and fatso tootsie rolls, plus a fruit cup. Double no. I am tortured.

mountain man said...

Some dummy wants me to work more hours. I have turned cold. I will take a hostage.

mountain man said...

The tootsies will gel in your dry mouth. You will never scrape it off. That is not good. Also, fruit cup is probably made of wax and slime. Dry pretzels make me want to heave just thinking of them. ALmond joy could be a possibility? With coffee maybe? That would be my choice. I am going to get some coke to have an annoying burp fest at my cube.

mountain man said...

The cube is suffocating me. I am cold, dry, and hoary. My beady eyes are attatched to the objects of ridicule. Those around me.

Bleet said...

MM you may take me hostage if you like.

mountain man said...

I just ate one half of an almond joy. I made a special trip to the bottom of the tower. My soul is still empty and my intentions are foul.

mountain man said...

The almond joy turned bitter.

krixfort said...

I volunteer to be your hostage MM if if gets me out of my jail for a few hours. just don't kill me. by the way, if you need to brush up on your semaphore, here you go:
http://www.anbg.gov.au/flags/semaphore.html

mountain man said...

what can I do to you, bleet?

Travis said...

Your joy is always fleeting MM. You are truculent.

Sushi Blameful said...

No say good this talk. No sun and no luck. Why so hate? Just count if need repair. Pink moon come.

mountain man said...

Thank you Krixie.

mountain man said...

Krixy, you are my hostage already. We are tied together by hammy pawlet.

Bleet said...

I will allow you to pin prick me, MM. You can tie me up and force feed me cans of rotten tuna. I do not mind botulism.

mountain man said...

Krixie is the same as Krixy. I am incantatory.

mountain man said...

Can I stuff you in a pill box shaped like a pig?

Bleet said...

Where is Ham Paw? WHy will he not tell what happened in the ritual?

Bleet said...

yes you may. i am leaning to teh shape of a pig already. in anticipation.

mountain man said...

Bleet, you are so sweet and little now. Now you are round shaped and curve around yourself in a cramped pill box form. I push your cute baby eye balls in.

pinkeye said...

a sheep in pig's clothing, nice...
very american

ham paw said...

I'm so tired. The energetic pressures have emptied me.

mountain man said...

Pinkeye you are so Dutch. I know you are. I can smell you through the ether.

mountain man said...

Ham Paw this is frightening. What do you need to replenish? Baby eyeball poking? A glass of freshness?

fairy butler said...

i will settle for caffe mocha from strange machine. free. almond joy is still there as it pay day bar.

ham paw said...

I must restore my energy first. This weekend another initiation will be performed.

Sushi Blameful said...

Be not full, Paw. Mindful and empty ocean.

ham paw said...

There was crushing, yes, but the eyeballs are intact for the witness. pushing is instinctive, but not instructive in this fashion. I have pushed energetically into a maintenance level without use of hopscotch. I am in wait for restorative juices.

W said...

aweohmy, showering in the trailor park after vulgar smear. loved it.
shut up sushi before i part your labia with a tuna roll!

Chunk of Drunk said...

I am so drunk up from cider expulsions.

mountain man said...

Yikes. I was just pressured into going to the hospital with a coworker who is barfing A LOT! I dodged the bullet, but now everybody is mad and thinks I'm a bad man. Not tough enough and so on. Vomit turns in on me. It makes me scared.

mountain man said...

chunk of drunk. You scare me. Stay away from the temple.

Anonymous said...

You are a bad man MM. Weak in your gullet, to the core of you. For shame.

Chunk of Drunk said...

What you should fear is your own curdled heart, not me. Look at you, with your wineskin betwixt your plush leggies. Fatty!

Hoarse Voice said...

MM i am speaking directly into your ear: you are perverted, a twist on reality that no one wants.

Bleet said...

That is awful of you. Lay off MM, he may be twisted and perverse but he is furry. I love the furry ones. I am his hostage.

mountain man said...

Cuddly not curdled. How is your pill box bleet? YOu are warm in my pants pocket.

Bleet said...

I am oink shaped.

Chunk of Drunk said...

I wish to drill under your finger tips Mountain Swine.

mountain man said...

Anonymous. If you're so strong, you should pick an identity. you are puny

Hoarse Voice said...

I am anonymous. This is my identity. I was so hoarse you could not hear me. Listen to me, I am telling you: puny people are perishing from lack of love. You are love-lacking and in service of vomit. You better get used to it.

Growly said...

Gnar I am so angry. I want to spit in your overalls MM.

mountain man said...

A hater is

someone who won't go to the hospital with someone who is throwing up in the car even though there are others who wish for the special brownie points for compassionate service.

silent one said...

shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

haunch said...

i'm foaming over with murder all this anti MM! I'm going to cut tendons with my fingernails, throw you in a bath of my own mucus then set you out in the sun to crisp dry...all of you cowards!

Wise and Wicked said...

Ah yes, the old I-will-ignore-your-disease bit.

Aunty Em said...

I am not anti MM!

Marshall Mathers said...

I am Emnem

mountain man said...

I am foaming over too!! Stop hating me. You know you love me.

I think it may be my inner demons poking at me.

Modernista said...

I love you MM!! Please pick me. You make me all weak in the nether region. I have crazy-wet dreams about you.

hot chick said...

i'd like to play with your inner demmon MM. how big is it?

Maidernista said...

Yes, I am sick of changing her sheets!

clitoria said...

MM i hope your balls are as hairy as your back

Labia Minor said...

I would like to shave your balls, MM.

kin said...

I love you mm. Your foibles are heartening. You make me feel better about myself.

cool cat and what not said...

I dig this vibe.

pubic hair said...

I feel so abandoned.

mountain man said...

Hi balls and everyone. I know you love me, I am not worried about anything. My foibles are ok. I hate vomit, so? Vomit is grody.

pretensia said...

I love only myself and my kick-ass art.

clitoria said...

why don't you get fucked pretensia

Pretensia said...

I only fuck if there is a show in it for me.

clitoria said...

pretensia you can millk my vommit shit in a cup and drink it. and MM's balls are mine, thick and furry

Modernista said...

Oh pa-lease Pretensia! Your art is definitely not worth it!

PD said...

C**T Alert! C**T alert!! Modernista.

mountain man said...

I am trashy. Who loves what? What is art? I count 48,008 c**ts.

mountain man said...

Pretensia, are you ok?

clitoria said...

i love your rolling bushy balls mountain man

mountain man said...

one just walked by. it is fleshy.

mountain man said...

it is enclosed in padded underwear.

mountain man said...

thank you, fella. you have a whiff of the stick about you, despite your naame...it's ok, i like to have the boy fun sometimes. yay for us stick-havers.

mountain man said...

It has a wattle.

mountain man said...

there is a nose job involved.

mountain man said...

There is a tuber on the boob.

Pretensia said...

Who has a whiff of the stick??

Master Poole said...

Stand up straight, all of you. What is this? An abomination, I say. Mountain Man is by and far the most upstanding, chest forward, honest speaking, centered and beautiful of all men. Handsome, yes. Carefree even. He can say, "I am beautiful." Who of you can say such a thing? Who can stand naked to another and repeat, "I am so beautiful." Be humble and love the Mountain Man, lest we all fall prey to squalor.

krixfort said...

I fear that I have fallen prey to squalor. I am soaking in it, Madge.

mountain man said...

Krixfort you are not as squalorous as you think. To me you are gorgeosity disguised as a tutu-robot. I adore you. You know that. Let's go back to the watering hole and speak schoonmaker.

krixfort said...

I have been practising my schoonmaker. I have awaited my time in the sands with you. It is almost midnight MM. ALmost time to meet at the oasis.

Hoo hoo hoo said...

Squalor.
Filth.
Grub.
Poverty.
Neglect.
Dirt.
Foul.
Nast.
Sord.


Debase.
Let's all go to Da Basement.

mountain man said...

yes yes hoo hoo hoo. i understand. Also, hey Master poole, you are very mysterieux. I like. Je t'aime. In case you are francais. hearts.

Sushi Blameful said...

Mountain open yes?
Much soiled talk here.
Much confusion.
Is there sun Mountian Man?
How can be spotless?

mountain man said...

Oh sushi spotless is misnomer. Open is sun for trying. I talk like you, like spacemaker, like immigrant. I know nothing now. I sponge. I am open to the truancy.

Master Poole said...

Je veux votre obediance rapide, mais je vous demanderai avant. Vous êtes très beau et vos cheveux de coffre chantent.

sushi Blameful said...

Much torment in truancy. Much vexation.
Open heart and open mouth will correspond.
Find sun and luck.

mountain man said...

Ah bon. Tu parles francais. Ca c'est tres digestif et les choux sont fous et inoubliables. Felicitations! Je suis ton homme de terre. Oui!

mountain man said...

Hahaha. Sushi! You are tres de sexe-joyeuse. Tu es une femme avec le visage formidable. Je t'aime aussi et aussi. Probleme n'est pas probleme, si?

Master Poole said...

Les la plupart ouvrent des victoires de bouche l'offre de poulet. Le sauvage obediant gagne un tour truant.

mountain man said...

Je ne te crois pas maintentant. Je suis mal et je voudrais dormir en six ou sept minutes. Merci pour ton information important. Oui! MERCI BEAUCOUP!! JE T'EN PRIS!!!! CA C'EST VRAIS!!! IL PLEUT DANS LES CAVERNES DE MY SOUL!!!! IL PLEUT!!!!!

mountain man said...

What I meant to say was je ne te comprends pas. Je suis tres stupide. Bon nuit, M. Poole. Bon nuit and sleep well.

sushi Blameful said...

More special your speak.
Fortunate self. Mountain is high, very up, and luck.
Most sun come soon.

mountain man said...

J'aime le gaingneau et l'ananes!

Master Poole said...

Le sommeil restful à vos cavernes. Ayez les bains dans votre âme. Vos montagnes sont hautes et au loin. Lune au-dessus d'elles.