I found this growing out of my left thigh this morning. I removed it with dull scissors and now I think I am in trouble.
Sunday, April 03, 2005
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A blog about the New York artworld, body modification, mythical beasts, getting high, and wanting to die.
A blog about the New York artworld, body modification, mythical beasts, getting high, and wanting to die.
102 comments:
This looks bad MM. You can't just cut it off and expect everything to be ok.
In my opinion you have been invaded by snarling enemy trolls. They were told to attack you based on your trangressions and insults. It is time for maiming from the inside out. Your only means of defense is to drink juice.
I had this once, except it was on my neck. I was told it was not cancerous but a large fruitful boil that caused rampant pillaging over my organ territories. I was unwell for weeks. You must take some pills with your juice. I am not sure what kind, maybe some blue ones.
I hate to say it but this is an image that gives me thrills on the bathing suit patch. I like scum.
MM I hope you will be well for our out of town day trip to New Jersey. Please get this checked out.
This bodes ill for all of us. We must run for cover of the night.
Warning Sign, I want you to stay out of this. There is no need to get alarmist.
That is not so strange.
Hmm, let me put it in the radeon 8000 hybrid disease defunctor.
I think you have spinal menengitis.
Doctor Who you must stay out of this. You know nothing of these corporeal-spiritual dialectic tissue additions.
It's so cute!! I want to play with it. Do you still have it?
Hi Paul!! We went to neck meteor removal school together.
Transparent neck meteors are the wave of the future shock. I can't wait until we all have access to them. Bulging meteors can appear anywhere on your body but the neck is most special as it is most apparent.
My face has been replaced by a smiling face. I do not like it one bit. I am dogged.
not a smiling face MM. That's too creepy.
That's nothing that a good leech wouldn't take care of.
I think you need a tincture MM.
Hey Postmodern Debunker, are we related somehow?
I need a tincture to be applied to the roof of my soul. I want it to be slightly creamy in texture. I sawed off my smiley face and am feeling much more like myself. Much more understandably twisted and full of neck.
One thing I can say is that this is a very glamorous growth. It is very "in" and will go nicely with this season's colors and textures. You should not have cut it off, I think. Perhaps you should have it reattached to your neck or lower back.
I love this growth, it is fairly the most beautiful thing on the wooded grassy plain. I hope there will be more of them to come, on all of us, if we are lucky.
I like your name, Blue Sock of Mourning. Where are you from? I am from North Hampshire.
Thank you Girth of Wideness, I am from Crooked Bend.
Hi PD. Frankly I am not sure what is the best for me now. My future is opaque.
I am small and evil inside today. Earlier the Bee of Death came on my shoulder and buzzed some puzzling words.
Don't worry MM, this thing was just a last ditch attempt of the Pope to remain on earth. You were chosen because you are virile and strong. It looks as if it was completely encapsulated, and you chose the correct course of action by removing it, although you would have probably been better off using Beth's surgical manicure scissors. Do not bake this into a pie, as tempting as it might be. Wrap it in a clean diaper and send it to the Vatican (COD). PD's oxycontin cream is a good idea for the wound. You may drink my juice with or without the blue pills. The bee of death was just that hideous pope soul crying in its beer.
ZzzzzzzNot true. You have mizzzzzheard Mountain Man. I only zzzzzzzzzpeak of our zzzzzzzzpecial timezzzzzzzzz.
The bee said zzzzzzzzzzzzzi am special in your zzzzzzzzzzzear. You have spiralszzzzzzzzzzin your head. You arezzzzzzzzzzzzzrunning around in circleszzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
Hi Bee!
Hi Juicy!!! I love you Juicy.
Juicy I can't stop thinking about you. You are sooooo neat. You never tell me what flavor is your juicy.
Tiny little circlezzzzzz, pushing from zzzzide to zzzzzide.
Honey dew.
Yum.
I love the honeydew flavor. It is quite integrated in my tongue.
There is a specialness to this tumor. I don't believe it's a cyst. I do believe it's a meteor tumor. I think it bodes well rather than ill.
i lovezzzzzzzz when the tastezzzzzz mingle and turn in on each other making it all so inzzzzzzeperable. No beginning no endzzzzzzzz.
Bee of Death! You are not scary to me. You are welcome in my ear.
The bee is good.
Do not fear. My zzzzzzzzting is warming.
Hi Bee of Death. Can I help you?
That dependzzzzzzzzz on what you think you can help me with.
bee of death you are weak. I am strong. I am opting for world domination.
I can make sounds similar to yours, they are soothing, but without the zzzzzzz. THey are closer to the sssssssssssssssssss. This is an echo of emphasis for your message.
Bee and Hornet, do not battle, we are all together in one encasement. It's ok to be friendly with each other. We can all have dinner by the pond together later with MM.
Postmodern debunker I knew it was you! You can self medicate all you want. I am not like my brother, postmodern judgement.
zzzzzzzz bee of death zzzzzz I think we have zzzzzomething in commonzzzzzzzz.
Super language skills, exciting levels, increasing fermentation and unswerving intensity and uplifting motions. This is good for all of us. I am glad we are together.
sigh.
I HATE YOU PMA!!!! YOU ARE SLIMY. A LIAR. Please go back to your pointless tinctures and burn your hand.
Hi Krix!
The roads are bumpy in my part of the country. I barely made it home this evening. I am very stressed. Thank Goodness I picked up some KFC on the way home. Who doesn't love that spicy chicken!!! YUM!
ohhhh pm judgement, just because mom liked me better doesn't mean you have to be so bitter.
judge not lest ye be judges.
hi MM! how are you? I ate a piece of pizza with crushed red pepper on it. One of the pepper flakes got stuck between my teeth and seared a hole through my upper lip. I cried a little. I want to go to Neds.
Come to Ned's tonight! It will be a slice of magical goodness, better than pizza. I'll meet you there at 8. Prepare for an exuberant evening. You may lose a digit or two.
Mountain Man and Krixfort sitting in a tree...
doh! PD I invited you to meet up as well. I wanted to gang up on Beth a little. I'm feeling kinda bratty.
nyah!
Is it two for one night on green drinks?
i smell funny.
I want to meet all of you tonight. PD don't defame my precious name. Self Defecator you may like to come too. But please take a shower first.
PMD,
You are a pussy. You wouldn't know what to do with me blindfolded.
Krixfort,
Watch your back, Mountain Man is mine.
You know, properly prepared leeches taste rather like chicken.
PD, Beth!!! What is going on. Beth, you must heel. PD you must heel too!!!!
holy cow! PD! way to state it!
girlfight! girlfight!
Ohhh mother, I can feel, the soil falling over my head.
I smell a catfight. MM you sure know how to stir it up.
I am sebaceous
A little paste in the form of white flour is good from time to time!
Ok. Keep me out of this. Whoever is impersonating me needs to take it easy. Eat some fruit. This blog is ridiculous.
I'll be at Ned's at 8 sharp and I'll buy the first round. I'm ready to pound a couple back.
I will take Krixsnot and PMDumb down.
Beth is cool, if troubled.
what's everyone drinkin?
pinkeye, you can step off anytime, you sty.
oops, I think PD just had an attack of Soul Angina...nitroglycerin--STAT!
Pink Eye you sure know how to make friends don't you?
Wait, did I just say Beth is cool.
Sorry I've been huffing.
But Krix and P'diddy are lame today.
I have some sugar cookies for her if they will help.
She's flatlining...we need to defrib.... STAT!
Pinkeye, and you are so fabulous, right? You are too aggressive. You bring nothing but stink, pink one.
...and a scalpel in her apple!
What are you huffing on PE? And PD, you better wake up girl!!! I am meeting you in an hour.
Pink Eye. You are an aimless eye. You need to turn a darker shade and lighten up. You are a disaster. But I think I understand your poisons.
Pinkeye doesn't last long.
I am mute.
I think we need to give her a shot of pork drippings to stabalize her! Stat.
PD!!! Smarten up!!! I know you are only faking. You are a good faker of illnesses. I am looking forward to seeing you later. If you do not show, I will enforce a flatline upon you and you will not heal very quickly I assure you. I was defending your honor from the nasty pink eye. You are too fragile!!!! GNAR!!!!!
PD!!! WAKE UP!!!!!!
Where the F**& did I put my kazoo?
PD??????? PLEASE SAY YOU ARE OK!!!! I AM SORRY I YELLED AT YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
PD I thought you were just singing along with Soul Angina?
I'm sorry. Are you doing better? Did defib work?
Listen up stink-eye. THis is all your fault. I'm holding you responsible and you will pay for any and all medical bills PD may incur.
I know PD. Pink Eye made us fight. I am sorry. Youare right.
whew! PD. Thank zogg. I was gonna have to get all litigious on pink-eye's ass.
My wife, the hairdresser said: "Honey, sometimes you make me fo angry I want to_____________(blank)
Correction: SO angry.....
Snip!
Cut your balls off.
curl up and dye
Skip.
PNI, Philadelphia Inquirer/Daily News
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