Tuesday, April 26, 2005

In Honor of Ham Paw

I bought this new bag. All I can think of is Hammy Hammy Paw Paw Paw. More accessories are needed to honor him in every way.

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101 comments:

Fofoca said...

Ham Paw is lucky. I wish you could buy a bag in my honor too, even though you barely know me. I don't know what that bag would look like.

krixfort said...

that accessory is honorific.

Crux said...

Just paint a pentagram on it and it will be the coolest!

Sushi Blameful said...

Much beauty on bag. Like cloud I see in mind. Carry everything that bag. Mountain much generous.

pez dispenser said...

yes i like this bag. no pentagrams though, how about tic tac toe board? crux, don't take that personal-like.

it is a wonderful bag within which you may carry your ideas.

Bleet said...

I LOVE HAM PAW!!!! I HOPE HE IS OK!!!!!!!!!

mountain man said...

I am really worried about Ham Paw. He got hurt yesterday by meteors and some of his lovely carvings were damaged. It is not fair for such a delightful personage to be harmed in any way. I hope he will show up today to let us know he is healing.

krixfort said...

that is bad news about Ham Paw. Please let him know my thoughts are with him.

Tonic said...

I am warming Ham Paw right now. Krix, I can warm you too if you want. Very rejuvenating. Very intoxicating.

krixfort said...

oh tonic, you sassy little elixir! I know all about you, in fact, didn't I run into you last night? Or was than your friend soda? All I know is that vodka was close by.

ham paw said...

Thank you for your kindness MM. I love my bag and can imagine many uses. The color matches my arms which are my best feature I am told. I will carry in this bag some totemic items for protective entities and also for the combinations of the tolerance focus communities. I am afraid I will be envied. For this I will tie it to a stick and carry it over my shoulder.

Truly said...

Yes Ham Paw, you will be envied, but this is as it should be. Yes. No more of wounding terminology directed at your head. I am unearthing again. I have found a set of jacks, five peanuts still in their shells, mesh underwear, and a bottle of ranch dressing. i have plans.

hammy pawlet. said...

what are your plans truly? The ranch dressing may be used as an elixer with the addition of seltzer water and the added cushioning of the shoe pad.

Truly said...

seltzer was in the plan! how coincidental. or perhaps not. perhaps there is a divine intervention happening. i am about to put on the mesh underwear and play jacks. i will never, ever eat the peanuts. they are sacred.

Anonymous said...

I am painting in my studio today and having a wonderful time. Thank you for letting me. Hail to Ham Paw.

krixfort said...

yes! All hail to ham paw!

mountain man said...

I just got in trouble again at work. Perhaps the wine skin is seeping. Can't do it. Can't pretend.

mountain man said...

must sip whiskey, pretend I am in the whore hut.

mountain man said...

The whores are washing my feet. They are constant complanions in these last days.

kimmy said...

Don't let them do it unless they wash with their hair.

latoya said...

Don't worry MM. YOu are not mean to sit in the cubical. You should run away now.

mountain man said...

This is the tribulation. I saw a pale horse yesterday.

chelsea said...

cut the meanies. with snippers.

mountain man said...

I'm fine now. I'm tender footed.

Rhonda said...

Don't worry MM, you are not really there. You are really elsewhere, with me. I am protecting you in my plump generous boobs. There are no tubers here.

fuzzy bunny said...

I am so happy about you mountain man.

Anonymous said...

yikes rhonda.

Rhonda said...

Are you afraid of tubers, anonymous? Or a plump bosom? Or that it's so big that I can hide a 7 ft. man in it?

kisses,

Rhonda

mountain man said...

Thank you for being happy fuzzy bunny. I want to take you by the scruff of your cute neck and slam you into the wall. As a form of affection, of course. But I am sure you already knew that.

Treacly Mess said...

For shame Rhonda. You sound sketchy.

octagonal said...

I am a mess, truly out of tune. I miss my true self.

mountain man said...

Thank you Rhoda about the boobs. Believe me. I want to be with you and I need the protection. The tubers endlessly call me and shamelessly pretend not to yell. They attempt to knock me around. I say no with a pin and the hope of a puncture wound. But the smell is intolerable I can tell you that.

ham paw said...

your true self is inside the borg. Follow as directed up to a certain point of my precisions and advice columns for the tendered vittles among the gatherers. Your identity is restorative in this landscape of subjective positionings.

mountain man said...

the tubers are vigilantly marching past in 15 min intervals. I fear them.

Anonymous said...

Are they moist inside? Are they gelatinous?

fairy butler said...

ham paw, mm, what is this about the body bag and shattered glass?! The moon caused some nasty treats it seemed. I will speak with her later for you do not deserve such treatments. Please, the body bad was not squirming, right?

I feel borgian + anxiety + personality disorder = badness again. Butler! Get me my shrimps.

Crux said...

I have tubers on my weenie

fairy butler said...

My butler must be beaten.

postmoderndebunker said...

Hi Ham. I hope you are better today. I'm sure that bag made all the difference. MM can really turn on the charm when he wants to?

ham paw said...

the trama is lessening. the bag was not squirming. Instead it was still with a trim shape inside. Thank you for your concern. I am embattled from within and without.

mountain man said...

yo PD! you are the charmer!

postmoderndebunker said...

oh MM, I see you have taken your gravy pills today--THANK YOU! I like it when you are like this--all fuzzy and what not. Let's have a rub now...shall we?

ham paw said...

Fairy Butler, There is an overflowing for wisdom expression in you. I saw the PS1 show and could not express myself as you have. You are right.

mountain man said...

PD, lets visit the whore shack together. I want you to meet my galpal cynthia. She has long hair and shapes it into animals with wire reinforcements. What do you say?

postmoderndebunker said...

You know I'll do it, MM. I love animals and I love you. Besides, Cynthia sounds like sweetness personified.

Crux said...

I've been to a couple of whore shacks myself. Tasty morsels there.

Preston said...

What it is this PS 1 thing people are buzzin' about? Some kinda secret society?

tulip eater said...

It is a secret society, Preston. You must be very youthful to join.

Preston said...

I am an old man of 34. I guess that won't work.

tulip eater said...

Perhaps you have special oral skills.

mountain man said...

cynthia is a dummy. her skills involve blood, goo, and excrement eating.

Cynthia said...

My teeth are brown from eating so much excrement. I am bad breathed. But fun with my pigs coming out of my hair. I can soothe with my hands.

Truly said...

I am sopping wet from inducements. I have not seen the PS1 show yet. I should. This is shameful. I am shame-faced. However, I like to be by myself, is why.

mountain man said...

I am stroking my furry legs with a cat brush. It feels nice.

mountain man said...

I want to see Crux's tuber weenie.

Anonymous said...

are your legs red now?

Bleet said...

I have been waiting with my damp oars of friendliness and leaky boat in the blue zone, waiting to pick someone up for enticements under the covers at my house in the woods but they have not shown up. Who would like to come with me? I am shy and I dont' bite too hard. I have a bluish tint.

whore said...

YOUR FEET SMELL!

mountain man said...

No they are still brown, my legs, from all the hair on them. It feels nice. Do you think the skin will get chafed?

mountain man said...

My feet? They smell fragrant. I have been soaking them in Mountain Dew, Mountain Man's favorite beverage. Whore, You are a foul one.

Dirty Whore said...

Hey WHORE you are not a real whore. I am the true whore. I am basking in MM's tresses. Please bow down to him. He needs you to.

Anonymous said...

Poke your legs with a pin.

Libby said...

Don't cause him to get hurt. He is not feeling well already. If he pokes himself with pin he will bleed like a martyr. It will be beautiful but inappropriate.

mountain man said...

Thanks Libby. I am farcical. I want to do wheelies on my bike. I don't have it here.

kitten of splendor. said...

very chafed. It is an exfolient, similar to a sandy rubbing. I am in a foul mood. I hate all.

Preston said...

I have great oral talents.

Crux said...

uh, i am ashamed of my tuber weenie. Maybe i can show y'all one at a time.

Anonymous said...

pin the tuber.

postmoderndebunker said...

So MM, we still goin' to the shack?? We don't have to see Cynthia if she is grody to the max.

Chichi said...

Hey Preston, may I be your partner and allow you to accomplish oral missions on me?

fierce said...

tell me about your oral talents Preston.

mountain man said...

Yes PD. I want to go to the shack now but I can't yet. Let's get rubdowns from delicious whores. It will be painless and lovely and part of the wealth of communing in the darkened hours of sniffing sexuality. Lots of limbs moving around, lots of prime behavior.

kimmy specialty said...

kimmy wanna share oral talents!

mountain man said...

DOn't be ashamed Crux. Just show it. It needs adoration I think.

postmoderndebunker said...

Just say when, MM. I'm into the limb action and I wouldn't mind some of Preston's oral fixations...and I'm not talking flossing.

Chichi said...

I am fierce too. Fierce like gnashers.

Chichi said...

I want to come too PD! Let's kidnap Preston. Maybe Bleet will come too. He seems glum.

mountain man said...

Chichi do you like to be told what to do by tall men? I will rule over you with PD. Right PD? She can come if she wears a dog suit.

Anonymous said...

I am lurking. Watching.

Fatty said...

I have a rash all over my front and back. I am anxious.

mountain man said...

I have a rash on my brain.

postmoderndebunker said...

Chichi is welcome. I do think the dogs are needed for some discipline. Preston, please bring the tuber weenie for our inspection and predilection in the hopes of an erection.

mountain man said...

Stop lurking and visit. We only eat predators.

Anonymous said...

There is someone I know who is rude and selfish. I hate this person sometimes.

mountain man said...

what makes them rude and selfish? Example please.

Preston said...

Uh, okay, but Crux has the weenie with the problem...not me PD. Pay attention.

Percy said...

Chichi is a good friend of mine. She likes to wear dog suits. I like to wear catsuits. May I come too?

Crux said...

Well, I'm coming too--so I'll bring the weenie with. It sorta follows me around.

mountain man said...

please come percy.

observer said...

Fairy Butler is shellfish, but not rude.

mountain man said...

Oh yeah, Preston has the oral skills. Do you perform your skills on boys too?

Preston said...

Only once, when I was pledging. But I may be persuaded to try again...if it'll get me into PS1.

postmoderndebunker said...

I don't know MM. A frat boy at the whore shack?? Not with me, uh, uh.

mountain man said...

are you a fratty Preston? If so I will facilitate a group thingy for you. It will take place in a circle. There will be fire. There is no need to be scared. Blood letting is for sissies.

Anonymous said...

Shut up MM.

mountain man said...

Hey! I know who you are anonymous. You are the one with the tired eyes.

krixfort said...

don't be afraid of the frat boys PD. Their barf is worse than their bite.

mountain man said...

you are the one with the scabs on your scalp.

Anonymous said...

You are the one whose face is putrid.

Stunk said...

There is so much hate here.

mountain man said...

Shut up! Skankiness is obvious with the assistance of extra intense vision which I have. i can see your weaknesses.