Sunday, March 06, 2005

WOW

Let's go back to the magic. The magic rules are: (maybe you should write these down)

1.Eat a lot of candies.
2. It is hard to be alone with yourself when you wish you were sweeter. Instead, pretend to be sweeter. It's ok to fake smiles.
3. Tell yourself that you can lick things out in public. Anything you want is available to you to lick.
4. Make sure to run around a lot. An increased heart rate leads to more fun and happiness. It's ok to drool.
5. Lie upside down on benches and look around. Everything will look weird but better than usual.
6. Breathe deeply and remind yourself to look shifty. Dart your eyes around.
7. Be patient.
8. Act unwisely and forget your responsibilities as much as possible.
9. Do drugs if you really need to (only in emergencies - this is up to you).
10. Don't overburden your object of desire with too much love. You will only end up hating it and yourself.
11. Always listen to Mountain Man.

28 comments:

mountain man said...

I am back on track to achieving inner peace. There is only charm around me. Fine and exciting charm. I am hopeful for the future a/k/a tomorrow. Perhaps it will be delightful.

problemchild said...

i wanted to tell you that i am making these really nice drawings of fountains and mouse traps. i thought you might be interested. they are for sale. $5 a piece. would you like to buy one?

mountain man said...

i believe i am way ahead of my time.

your drawings do sound nice. however i can't afford to buy any art right now. i am collecting george washington commemorative plates. it's going well.

chaz said...

hey mountain man, i would like to go down on you.

GAS said...

Down.

Barf said...

Gas makes me barf.

stone said...

I take exception with #9 #9 #9 #9.
Do Drugs whenever you want.
Don't OD.

mountain man said...

I said in emergencies. An emergency could be anything. You just have to need them bad enough. It could be every day though. It's up to you.

Heather said...

I need to lose a few pounds and get into better shape. Then I will be able to do the things you suggest on your list.

stone said...

Crystal Meth will help you shed the pounds, dude.

Heather said...

Can you send me some in the mail? I am too scared to buy it myself. I am shy.

pinkish purple eye said...

i need to admit something. i am a hooker.

Chubby said...

Mountain Man, can you help me with something? I am too jealous and angry all the time. What should I do? I am so dastardly angry.

pinkeye said...

My real name is John.

pain said...

Fat little playtoy is j-j-j-j-jealous.

What's wrong Chubby? Lose your temper again. Ask Skinny for the Low Down.

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