Thursday, March 24, 2005

Something Nicer

Here are some kitties to look at if you are too harshed out by the previous posts. I am going to get some work done now. Yes I am.

.

42 comments:

fairy butler said...

how many times can I say this?

kittens are the answer - - always

don't forget this.

Beaker said...

They are so cute! I just want to squeeze them. I want to get a kitty.

bobo said...

The second one from the left looks like the ringleader. Look for him to eat the others at the first sign of trouble.

ham paw said...

hey bobo, would you like to play "toad" with me some time? or are you too fascist.

Grassy said...

These kittens seem off somehow. Something, I am sure, is wrong with them. I will figure it out.

Crematorium said...

Send those kitties over to me, please.

Titus said...

I am starting to want to eat kittens. I want to destroy the little things. Why?

helene said...

i am so disgusted with everybody and their kitten fixations. Come on. They are vile little animals, very close in nature to rats. I'm sure you wouldn't be cooing at rat babies. this is some sick little fantasy for all of you. I happen to eat kittens but that is my own business. I find the bones so fine that I can actually chew them. What is the difference between eating a pig and a kitten. none. Only that kittens are less inteligent. They are noisy and their mewing reminds me of a death rattle. Wake up.

helene said...

And another thing. I'm not some crazed homeless person. I am a librarian.

bobo said...

I won't dispute any of the above, except to say that I personally have never witnessed a pig or a rat licking its own hindquarters. Not sure if that's good or bad. Maybe I'm not looking hard enough.

bobo said...

I've never seen a librarian lick its own hindquarters, either.

bobo said...

Or a homeless person.

mountain man said...

helene, you make a fine point. however, i for one would certainly coo over rat babies. i happen to find rats very very cute.

i will not inform the authorities about your kitten eating. however, you are right about the inconsistencies in which animals we choose to eat. it's just hard to eat the lovable cuties. the cuddly ones. i have never cuddled up to a cow or a pig. but i guess i do eat lamb...puzzling.

thanks for your input.

mountain man said...

i like a good hindquarter. all women should wear dresses that show off their hindquarters.

helene, you may not be homeless, but do you smell homeless? this is the real issue.

helene said...

I don't appreciate your imput. I despise it. Cute? What is cute? I don't find children cute. I don't find adults cute. I don't find hindquarters cute for obvious reasons. I see sweat, sebum and excrement. Nothing to my liking. I am very clean and a user of purell. Books are fine so long as they are new and untouched. Sweaty hands, wiping of noses then turning the page. This is why I eat only the pure and the young.

helene said...

Oh and hypocritical Fairy butler. If you are so repelled by piles, then stay away from the kittens. Are you aware of their piles?

bobo said...

Helene, you are fraudulent.

My understanding is that kittens are not wont to develop piles, so long as proper attention is paid to their anal glands.

That said, I'd imagine that a kitten with a full-to-bursting set of anal glands makes for a none-too-tasty snack.

Peripherally, what is your preferred method of preparing kittens for eating? Do you roast with the fur still on? I would imagine that would make for the crispiest crunch, but it would also fill the apartment with a bit of a stench.

Please advise.

helene said...

Foolish BOBO the clown,

I remove the fur. I have a kitten coat which is slowly becoming an afgan. I cook it in a crock pot with a can of creme of mushroom soup and fried onions. The bones are really soft by the end of the day.

helene said...

And another thing. The library has a potluck every friday night. i take great pleasure in this. Suckers.

mountain man said...

helene you are full of venom and spite. may i suggest an intervention on your behalf to improve your outlook?

helene said...

what is an intervention? I need kittens. Would you like to play cards with me?

mountain man said...

i will only play with you if i can scratch your face and stick things in your bum. that is my rule.

helene said...

too bad. I've got hamsters clogging my ass and I wear ski masks on principle..

hippy said...

what gives Helene? you're harshing my mellow

ham paw said...

This is a consideration for the type of people who are distressed from a lack of compassionate discourse. I would like to recommend a type of bathing for Helene. It envelopes the bather in warmth and the vibratory motion of the water consumes unregulated experiences. It is punishable for kittens when the bathee is uncomfortable in their principles and wishes to wear a ski mask to cover the identity crisis of experience.

helene said...

What are you talking about Ham Paw? are you on drugs? As I said earlier I am very clean and I use purell. My advise to you is to not speak.

juke box said...

Dude. What is this thing? Who are you people? I don't get it.

helene said...

Not cute. Not cute.

kitten said...

I hate you helene

2nd kitty said...

I hate you too.

kitten #3 said...

I will fight you! I will tear your anus with my claws.

stray said...

I can find your eyes

krixfort said...

ham paw, sometimes I don't understand you. It is because I am common.

ham paw said...

It is not that you are common. It is that you are a commoner. I am a commoner as well, but touched with a fire that will never go out, as spoketh Morrisey. You will never wak from your slumber of innocence until you bath correctly and become self reflective regarding proper diet and exercise. This is where the "hop scotch" enters the dialogue. It is an adventurous project for those among us with difficulties in the cranial cortex. I for one had many of these difficulties before the hop scotch pattern. It is a way of alligning the inner and outer. The exterior. the interior. The fever and the calm. Please do not trivialize it by calling it ying yang. It is not eastern, nor is it western. It is above. So please pay attention from now on.

krixfort said...

WOW HAM PAW! That is intense. You should have your own blog too. I feel that if I read your teachings on a daily basis, I would become enlightened. eventually.

pudding said...

pudding says that you ought to call your mother. Please.

ham paw said...

enlightenment is for the few. You must get in line behind me. I am close to an enlightened state during my morning constitutional. The bath salts and the cleansing enemas and clearing of the toxic natural forces. Some say that natural is better. I say no. Out natural state is slovenly. I would not bath if I were in a more natural and less enlightened state. The hop scotch and the other techniques have sheltered me from my own wanton natural tendencies. It is a daily practice requiring celebacy.

krixfort said...

hmmm ham paw, that is sounding less and less appealing now.

Bernard said...

Reading this is so confusing but spiritual still, somehow, I feel. The hopscotch pattern. Yes.

ham paw said...

You may begin your journey with the enema.

Anonymous said...

i love these kittens so much!!! i want to get some more.

Damian said...

aren't those evil kittens?