Tuesday, March 15, 2005

A MESSAGE FOR MOUNTAIN MAN FROM THE ETHER

MOUNTAIN MAN!!!! I want you to listen carefully. Since Blogger is misbehaving I have had to magically break into your blog and send you this sincere and true message. Your toast tower is not 90's!!! It is painfully unique, like you. If you were good at your job, you would never be the kind of person who would sway this way and that, bind hussies, drink from a wineskin and pray to Zogg!!! YOU ARE TOO SPECIAL FOR THIS WORLD!!!! I am communing now with powerful art critics who are telling me that you are bound for greatness. Death would not be a good idea for you at this time. Think about the wild grasses. Think about french fries. Maybe you should get some.

I will be watching over you. Today is a difficult day, but I beseech you not to forget about your pan and scissors idea. IT WAS A VIOLENT AND GOOD IDEA. AS WAS THE GUM CHEWING. CHEW MORE GUM!!!! ATTA BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

30 comments:

mountain man said...

Thank you ether man. I am trying to smile. The sweat is drying a little, but I am still afraid to stand up. My bum is damp.

Porno Director said...

I would like to extend an invitation to you to be in an upcoming movie I am making. I love a damp bum. You sound perfect.

Anonymous said...

Do you have any meds on you today? Sounds like you are tightly wound and being tortured. Where is your donkey?

Sally said...

I work on the same floor as you. I wanted to tell you how pretty you look today. I am sorry you are having a hard time.

mountain man said...

I am feeling a little better now. My butt is not always damp, Porno director!! But I have always wanted to be in the movies. I have some special "features" that would impress you.

My heart is still beating hard, but my wish to be hit by a car is gone. This is progress.

Sally said...

I knew you would pull it together.

mountain man said...

Can Beth and Tammy be in the movie too? That would be so hot. I am feeling better just thinking about that. Could we eat pie?

Porno Director said...

Yes you can all be in it and make pie. My idea was that I treat you like dogs and train you. I feed you dog food and you have leashes. Then you scamper around like dogs and lick each other's bums.

Bob said...

I am upper-case Bob, not to be confused with lower-case bob. I have had my larynx mysteriously removed in the night. I AM SCARED.

base said...

i love eating pie, pie with vodka on top while she moans softly

Gunther said...

I had my larynx removed too. Instead there are highlighters. I can't speak either.

base said...

i would soak the laranx in vodka till you could drink it down smooth

ball said...

hey base, have we met before? i like vodka with my sweets too.

Toy Tool Kit said...

That vodka larynx idea sounds totally grody. I want to fix something inside your head.

mountain man said...

Please try to fix my head. It is so broken.

base said...

ive just ben dranking, some ideas just come into my head !

mountain man said...

base, what have you been drinking? nail polish remover?

base said...

mountain man maybe you just need good oral head and vodka to fixs your head

mountain man said...

you sound like a tard. i worry for you. eat some walnuts. i am eating some, it is helping with my anxiety, paranoia and depression. nuts are good for the soul.

Penny said...

I like macadamia nuts.

Terri said...

MM, I hear turnips are good for dandruff. FYI.

mountain man said...

I want to snorkel. I want to put on some snorkeling gear and go down beneath the floor and explore the creatures.

mountain man said...

Thanks Terri, but turnips, although tasty, give me gas. That's no good at work. I have already messed things up enough today.

these nuts said...

i like almonds.

base said...

my buyfriendsnuts get stinky in htee summer tuime

mountain man said...

base, honey, that is really gnarly. you sound like a fool. no offense.

Iggy said...

I like pine nuts best. This is a fun nut conversation.

these nuts said...

i like Italian pine nut cookies, yummmmmmmmmmm

Gorman said...

I like nut n' cheez balls.

base said...

i like my boydfriends cheexznuts