Tuesday, March 15, 2005

Hurry Up!

The tummy is rumbling. It is time to escape into the hinterlands where wild green grasses grow. There are worms slithering all over my sweaty, pale, indented forehead. I am a boon of oafish proportions, as most of you already know. I play knick knack on thumbs of strangers. I am gummy and selfish. The sweet pastel-colored candies are calling me.

Today I thought I would dress like a woman. People are eyeing my strangely. I have lipstick on and a dress with cowboy boots. A hairband. I combed and styled my hair as carefully as I could stand to. I am speaking with my hands more today, caressing files with tenderness, as I am sure a true woman would.

12 comments:

Courtney said...

How dare you generalize about women and their hands? I hope you are shunned. You will not be invited to the work pepperoni pizza party later.

peggy said...

You sound like a nasty monster. Gross me out the door. is Tammy disgusted? Just so you know, my cat is named Tammy. I don't think it is a coincidence, do you? I wish I could work with you so that we could pass notes.

mountain man said...

peggy, i like that you would want to pass notes with a nasty monster. that is precious. this is like passing notes. maybe we can giggle a little.

mountain man said...

oopsy!!! my ear is bleeding. i accidentally jammed several paper clips in it all at once. i think someone saw.

Terri said...

You keep making type-o's and spelling errors on your blog. I HATE THAT! Get it together. Take some time to write what you mean. You stink. What is a "my strangely"? Loser.

Juniper Berry said...

What kind of hairband are you wearing? Is it plastic or cloth? I like the pink plastic ones. I smell piney.

mountain man said...

I am starting to plan something.

Penny said...

What are you planning? To grow teats?

mountain man said...

Teri, spelling is for dummies. I am in the middle of a flow. Don't cross me.

Anonymous said...

What kind of flow, dummy? A urine flow? A menstrual flow?

mountain man said...

Does anyone want to start a choral group with me? I like singing.

mountain man said...

HELLO! I'm a man. I flow and drop the hot shit. Don't you listen to rap? Get smart man.