Wanting to Die

I don't understand gallerists. I feel so puny today!!!! I am trying to have a career and really be someone but it isn't working so well. I feel like slime when dealers talk to me. I have no sense of pride, I just feel like a small bug under their shoes. I didn't think it would be like this, that if they liked my work and wanted to put me in a show, I would feel important and special. But instead I feel like chow.