Tuesday, February 15, 2005

My Hair

is really quite long. It is light brown and a bit shabby, if I am to be honest. This blog, as you know, is all about honesty. I do not have a beard yet. I am waiting until my hair turns more grey. That is the appropriate shade for a mountain man's beard to be. I do not live in the mountains as my name suggests. I live here, amongst you all, in the the complicated urban vista. I am hemmed in by society. However, my mission is to be a mountain man of mystery! I do not clean my clothes very often. I do whittle from time to time. Thanks for your interest.


Anonymous said...

Admit it, you are a dirty hippy. Let me guess.

you smell.
You wear open toe sandals.
You refuse to bandage your wounds.
"Let nature do her work" you say

mountain man said...

dear anonymous,

i smell like a goat, it's true. however, i prefer close-toe shoes. i am not a hippy. i do not conform to these simple stereotypes. you have no idea what you are talking about when you talk about my appearance. i am somewhat of a hotty. if you want to imagine what i look like, you will have to guess again! i bed scads of submissive women. they will never give up their goods to a hippy.

fairy butler said...

But how?

do you let the ladies chew on yer cud? do you lure them to your den with goat's milk? is there magic involved? enchanted wounds? A special bound with Nature?

mountain man said...

why hello fairy. your comments are strange if you do not mind me saying so. are you only half human? i lure the ladies in with my innate eroticism. that's all i can say about it. it's a mystery. perhaps nature is involved. i do like magic. i will have to think more on this.

fairy butler said...

I am served by a fairy butler, morning, noon, and night, but sadly I am a mere humanoid. Sometimes my fairy butler takes on my form and "doubles" for me in my day-to-day life and I know much of the other realms.

My butler is not endowed with private parts of his own so therefore he cannot fufill all my needs. I wail to the moon and sing to the stars but to no avail. I am not lucky with the fairer sex. I have had minor success with goat's milk - which is why i bring it up. Goats are sexy beasts.