Saturday, February 26, 2005

Merman

I am thinking of Merman now. It is time to cry.

.

68 comments:

Bruce said...

He looks like he is focusing very hard. He must be a thorough type of Merman who practices his jumps every day.

kitten said...

runt, i think you will like this photo. you are earnest just like him.

Merman said...

I am trying to show off for someone I am deeply in love with.

Merman said...

I am nothing without this person whom I deeply deeply love. I hope you know you are.

gwendoline said...

Someone has cast a spell on this image. It will not form. But I feel confident that your love transcends idoltry and that the recipient of your love is graciously swooning for you. Mountain Man, Merman you are beautiful

Merman said...

I am sorry you cannot see me, for it is you that I am murderously in love with. This is so sad. Please visit the following address to try to see me another way:

http://www.worth1000.com/entries/10500/10706_w.jpg

gwendoline said...

I felt your love, but was not sure it was for me, and I did not want to assume. Your intensity is flattering. I would like to swim with you. Gracious Merman, meet me near the pier at dusk. I have a palm frond for you.

Taffy said...

Merman you are a manwhore. You said you loved me yesterday. Are there no honest beings left in the world? I feel diseased and crushed.

Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr said...

Taffy
You are.
You are a disease ridden piece of candy stuck to the bottom of my boot. You would stick to anything that gave you the time of day.
Needy Whore.

Merman,
Don't even respond to this wench.

Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Merman said...

Rrrrrrrrrrrr, you are so mental but I like you for protecting me. Taffy is unfortunate. She is delusional.

Dirty Whore said...

I resent that people are insulting whores on this site. I thought you were supposed to be more open-minded.

Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr said...

It is not her whoredom, it is her neediness.
Taffy is sticky and problematic to all she clings to.
I can't ever wash my hands of her enough.
We are openminded....very. Libertine in the best ways.

Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Dirty Whore said...

Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, you are just the last straw. I have seen the defaming of whores on this site before now. I appreciate your explanation though. Whores are not to be shunned.

Alan Greenspan said...

Whores propel every economy.

Salt Water said...

Taffy's temperature runs high; she is not to blame. Merman scales attract her.

Orca said...

All this talk of whores has made me sleepy. I will nap now in the kelp beds.

Merman said...

Orca and Alan Greenspan? I am honored that you are blessing me with your good tidings. You must also be attracted to Merman scales. They smell briny.

Salt Water thank you for understanding.

Jed said...

I have quite a large collection of whores. It ought to be worth a lot of money by now.

Cavity Search Squad said...

There is nowhere for us to inspect you for drugs, Merman. How will we get into your cavity when there is no opening?

Merman said...

I am not in possession of drugs. You cannot search me. You will never catch me. Why don't you search Mountain Man if you are looking for an opening.

Bruce said...

I think Randy the dog killer might be interested in your whore collection, Jed. He is just that kind of bruiser.

Anonymous said...

Merman is not for real. His fins are totally fake. He must be murdered.

krixfort said...

Merman SEEMS kind but he fills me with nervous trepidation.

kitten said...

me too. people really fall easily for the magical entities, but i think they are suspect.

randy said...

Krixfort
I have not known you to be so trepidatious, except concerning the previous night's activities. Mythical entities are gay, by nature. Remember, Oblivion is rarely farther than half a bottle away.
On your Maker's mark, get Percoset, Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

christian said...

Check for drugs in Merman's dorsal vent. It is not where you think it is.

krixfort said...

Randy, you are a danger to me and others.

mountain man said...

Did someone say percocet? GIMME.

tang said...

Merman is a drug. Like a cane toad, you lick him.

mountain man said...

We are all very dangerous individuals. We need ventilation.

ginger said...

Mountain Baby
I will give you anything you want.
ANYTHING.

Merman said...

I never thought of that. I am going to lick my own tail now. I am getting ready to feel real good.

GAS said...

ventilation

mountain man said...

Mountain Man has an itchy back, Ginger. Mountain Man would like his Mountain Man stew, a couple of meds and a nice big pitcher of margaritas.

stone said...

Onanists rule.

Anonymous said...

What's an onanist?

chad said...

Mountain baby is a pussy.
He would not know what to do with ginger if she showed up.

mountain man said...

I'll tell you something, Ginger, I need some fellowship right about now. I am tempted to put on my man fairy outfit and roam the streets.

chad said...

THAT is why you are anonymous.

mountain man said...

I have learned from experience that anyone named Chad is missing gonads. I know exactly what I want from Ginger. I am just playing it real cool. I am real chill today. I played catch by the river, in the snow, with my friend Arthur today. I am elated.

ginger said...

Mountain Love
I know of a party where absolutely anything might happen....come with me. Pan will be there.

mountain man said...

OK I just didn't want to admit I don't know what Onanism is. I a little baby puss puss. Chad is right.

GAS said...

elated

mountain man said...

I think I know which party you are referring to, the Fireman's Ball next week? I can't go. I will be downsizing.

timmy said...

I love puss puss

mountain man said...

gas you are a menace. that is fine.

Frail Old Man said...

My bones are brittle. I hate cats.

Hussy said...

What party?

gwendoline said...

I know of what she speaks Mountain.
It is the Sprite's Celebration near the pond. Orgiastic, Bacchanallian revelry...Nymphs and Satyrs...and Grog, fine Meades and Grog...Oh I wish I could go. Alas another spell has been placed on me; for the moment I have no legs or neck, but I will wobble to my Book of Incantatins and undo this evil spell soon.

gwendoline said...

If perchance I cannot, will you cart me there fine Mountain. I should love to see them dance tonight.

krixfort said...

Do not downsize too much Mountain Man.

GAS said...

Fire

mountain man said...

Sure I can cart you. I have a wooden cart. I will take excellent care of your haphazardly assembled physical self. I will make you a neck and legs from marzipan.

mountain man said...

Krixfort, thank you for your concern. I plan to downsize only somewhat.

krixfort said...

Good. I was troubled over that.

gwendoline said...

Psylociban mushroom marizipan and nectar of agave will restore me. I am sure of it. Bring your wooden cart with its wooden wheels and we will go to the pier to swim with Merman. Joyous moonlit fun.

bob said...

If her legs are not restored, she will sink like the stoner she is. You had better bring a collar just in case.

stone said...

I resent that.

Ira said...

Bob, I think I know you. Do you have brown hair and a limp?

krixfort said...

Bob, I looked all over Avenue B for you the other night. If you would have shown yourself you could have saved me the pain that ensued. What gives?

krixfort said...

I was going to explain the secrets behind the tat.

krixfort said...

I had to look up Onanism. I understand you more now Mountain Man. Somehow I feel closer to you.

mountain man said...

Krixfort, is it cuz you now know what onanism is? or xuz you so totally respect me for admitting my shortcoming. I better look it up. Bob is definitely the limper.

mountain man said...

Yeah, OK. I get it. I love you too K.

bob said...

wow
aow

kitten said...

bob are you ok??

bob said...

it hurts.

puff puff said...

bob you sound dismantled, much like Mountain Man's toast tower.