Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Pork Martini? Anyone?



I infused my vodka with some delicious pork bits. Now I have pork and vodka breath that I will unleash upon everyone I encounter. Delighted and lubricated from the porky liquors I am now contemplating certain things. Is it be important to add more depictive elements to my paintings? How much weight do I really need to lose? How do I make the most of every day? It is best to ask these questions when you are unlikely to do anything about them, that way anything is possible. Both everything and nothing is possible and you delude yourself into thinking this is ok. Please help me be better tomorrow. Thank you. Love, MM

30 comments:

USB said...

Dear MM: Something tells me that this drink is not kosher..hic..but damn good..
Pardon, but that was the vodka speaking... personally I prefer a gin accent..

lupiss said...

Porkahol!! You are a wizard and a statesman MM. will your brother travel north to sample your sorcery?

mountain man said...

Hi USB! The drink is not kosher, no. However I hope for redemption anyway.

Lupy, thank you for you vote of confidence. I am running for wizard and statesman so it is good to know I have at least one vote. I am working on my brother to come to points north. I miss him and his rancid family deeply.

sloth said...

you are a wonder and an inspiration, ems, & you give me an idear: with a razor blade and some anaesthetic, I will gradually whittle down my winter pig butt whilst infusing Dr. Martini. bottoms up!

lazy eye said...

Please add the following depictive elements to your paintings:

1. A hammock attached at the upper corners of the canvas
2. Big legs with orthopedic shoes
3. Banners & pop-up windows
4. Collaged-on lottery scratch tickets
5. Yin-yang symbol

Thank you.

mountain man said...

Lazy Eye, thank you for the free ideas, I am grateful. I will get started today. I particularly like the scratch off lotto ticket collage element.

lazy eye said...

thankyou. Scratch tickets are not so much depictive as connotative. They connote "man's inhumanity to man."

mountain man said...

You are so right, Lazy Eye. Smart. "Man's Inhumanity to Man" was one of my favorite subjects in charm school. I think a used ticket is especially connotative that concept.

mountain man said...

That concept is an open concept.

pd said...

Please add the following depictive elements:
1. A merkin
2. two little fat babies joined at the nose.
3. Britany with shaved head
4. Pig feet

Animal Cruelty said...

Can I be represented by a scratch and sniff sticker of a dead dog? I would like to be on your painting.

pd said...

MM, you need not lose a pound. You are gorgeous.

mountain man said...

PD I am willing, if you are willing, to put all of these items in my painting. However they may not be rendered with grace. They may be rendered with clumsiness. If you are ready to have your ideas mal-rendered, I am ready to mal-render them.

mountain man said...

Thank you PD. Chances are I will not lose a pound at all! My propensities towards pork and cake are more overwhelming than my propensity to shrink.

fb said...

mm, big legs with orthopedic shoes win my vote. also the pop up windows. i am wondering if you could include somehting akin to that ubiquitous ad banner with the dark shadowed dancing couple?

or maybe just a dancing baby?

i am not eating enough pork.

fb said...

or enough of the liquors. i have been kind of sober lately. ?

mountain man said...

FB I can assure you your pork intake is very low. I can see it in your smile (lack of pork between teeth).

mountain man said...

Sobriety is for suckers.

pees said...

I don't mind MM. I am working on my sketches now.
I have been way too sober lately too and not enough sugar.

pd said...

Yes, I said Pees.

mountain man said...

Pees what a nice new name. Pees. I like it.

Corny said...

pork martini's are disgusting! try this for a taste sensation

Corny said...

(it's called Weiner On the Beach and The Park mixes a mean one!)

Corny said...

also I like Pees too, it reminds me of something relaxing and warm. Ok Pees?

pees said...

ew! Corns, that drink is a little grody.

Poo said...

shut up pees, what do you know?? you're just liquid waste.

lopis said...

yesh!

sody pop said...

Hi. Hi. I get myself into trouble. I just do.

cola said...

Trouble is fun; it's where it's at and all.

coca said...

bubbly