Friday, May 19, 2006

Fresh Steps Towards Less

Hi everyone. I am asking for mercy in the form of a painless euthanasia. Think of ways to murder me without consequence and I will plan a funeral party that you will not soon forget. I can entice you with green bean casserole and plenty of gummy worms, moist beer and well-iced cups of cake. I am no longer interested in life, there has been an ebbing, a dip if you will in my desire to bring productions to the earth. This is not meant to be melodramatic and no one should worry. Please leave fun, creative ideas for dying in my comments section. I will see you sometime later in the lessness of everything. Farewell!!!!

81 comments:

sloth said...

MM, this may help:

http://www.attractivecorpse.com/

although the idea of a field of bloody chunks is also appealing...

mountain man said...

Thank you Slothy. This is perfect, just what I was looking for. Seriously.

Push Push in the Bush said...

Hi. I am ready to assist in a pleasurable killing.

PD said...

Rage against the dying of the light, MM!!

But if you can't do that, might I suggest death by boiling vat of tomato sauce?

randy said...

Wood chipper, yeah a wood chipper....oh and glue!

mountain man said...

I want the push in the bush before the tomato sauce, then the wood chipper. But what is the glue for?

mountain man said...

I am going to do a short stint as a street performer before I die. Screw this artist bullshit.

Derek Adams, Fine Artist said...

But why? Art is so fulfilling on every level. It brings soothing feelings of love for humanity.

mountain man said...

I have made appts. with a hair remover in anticipation of my attractive corpse.

mountain man said...

I have so much hair, it will be a series of trips.

Stan Liebowitz said...

I am desiring to rape someone's hellhole today. Any takers?

artgirl said...

uh, hey guys, where should I go to graduate school? huh? Or SHOULD I even go?

PD said...

Or rage, rage, rage against the machine!

A push in the bush is worth three in the hand.

mountain man said...

OMG artgirl HI!!!!! Come closer. I want to rip your cunt out.

no-where man said...

shut up, artgirl. bend over.

mountain man said...

Sorry, I meant BOX.

Vapes said...

Oh my god. Laughter--artgirl--laughter.

You need to let go of this grad school idea--ya hear? A good round of chicken finger rapes is all anyone needs to release the creative juices.

Precious Moments said...

The box talk is sometimes offensive but today it is very lovely. There are hatchets on my hands which I am using for some soothing chop-ups. It is precious.

Lacking in Character said...

I have to get back to making YES album covers.

Corny said...

I'm all for suicide by bow and arrow. I just think it'll look fantastic and terribly dramatic right in the old ticker!
I might also recomend SELF CANNIBALISM. start at the feet and see how far you can get. it's weird but I've tried it and it makes a lasting impression

sloth said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
artgirl said...

vapes, are you the one who will be administering the rapes? I want to make sure I choose EXACTLY the right program; someone who will mentor me in the manner that I deserve.

mountain man said...

I have started by salting my toes. Very earthy tasting, now adding mustard. Yum. I can't wait to get to my box.

Corny said...

Art-girl, I rape grad art students all the time, they're no better then the BFAs. Hope thats helpful.

mountain man said...

Corny, you better run, you better hide. I have a hankering to rape you right now. RUN!!!!

Boxed lunch said...

Save your box for lunch MM! It just makes sense

Corny said...

WOOOOOOOOAH! I running right towards you and I'm not fucking around, if your going to rape me it's going to be like raping an oncomming bullet train


A french bullet train.

mountain man said...

I am sailing into the diseased tidal basin. I am switching my channel to zero and going sub-human.

mountain man said...

WAIT. I will wake back up for that. I love French bullets.

PD said...

Yes, Artgirl, I will administer the chicken finger rapes. Unfortunately you must prove yourself with the fried mozzarella stick rapes, and the pickle rapes. Are you ready to take the challenge?

Vapes said...

I wanted to do it!

artgirl said...

Professor Corny, your program sounds demanding. I like a good formal clit.

artgirl said...

I mean crit!

Corny said...

ok! I'm excited now. you got me all amped up and I'm really willing to rape and kill today. How about we do special Chinese 5 way killing method

Cheese grater to the face
Crush by a falling refridgerator
Chainsaw in half
Drown in a toilet
Microwave testicles

sloth said...

I like your suggestions, Corny.. they're so DIY. There oughta be a tv show.

mountain man said...

ALL OF TEH ABOVE CORNS. But first please let the happy rape come over us. All together in a bucket of pills.

mountain man said...

I MEANT THE NOT TEH. I am over-excited.

Corny said...

Art-girl. can you please have another name? That will be required before we proceed with the 'tough love". Sorry, but it's just the way it has to be.
How about:
a) Rat-hurl?
b) Fart-Furl?

artgirl said...

Hey, how'd you know? "Rat Hurl" is my mom's pet name for me!

Frat girl said...

Hey, are there clit notes available for the class?

Corny said...

OMG, speaking of buckets of pills, I am building a hot tub on the roof of the mounds RIGHT THIS SECOND with hot bubbeling pills to soak in. Every pill at once! Then towle off with a giant transdermal patch!

Stacey the Temp said...

can I come? I have a quilt of transdermal patches I wear toga style, but I'd like more medicine pleas.

w.w. said...

mm, i will push you into a train if you want. i will hold you head under water and force a bile rape from the rear.

Mountain Man said...

YES is the operative word of today. YES to everything.

whore said...

yes to a punch in the clit?

hammy said...

hey! i don't want you to die. If it must happen, there should be a group suicide.

lamby said...

mm, don't die. you give me ladywood. i need you.

sloth said...

Yes, Hammy! A group smother, like a Who concert... nice.

crankshaft said...

Artgirl! you are still here? go home so I can shove some raw bacon up your ass while you puke toenails on your dorm room van gogh stary night poster.

artgirl said...

I just pulled my panties down infront of a mirror and my beef flaps are hanging so low. Regardless, I love Jackson Pollock, and I'm so well read. Has anyone ever read Clement Greenburg? He's brilliant!

whore said...

another punch in the clit. you too, artgirl.

no-where-man said...

hold still, artgirl, I'm gonna jam a Yes album cover up your ass...

no-where-man said...

Hey! it's playing... how'd you do that?

hammy said...

I love the group smother idea slothy. It sounds comforting in the face of such hardships.

The Capt'n said...

All this talk of rapes and killings has me all worked up...and now I must trudge off to work as a "healer." Perhaps i can channel the energy into the sessions, and get big cash tips for it, too. The takers won't know what hit them, they'll only know they want to pay big for it.

The Capt'n said...

How 'bout a friendly group drowning with Team Shredder? It kills two birds with one stone because it takes care of the burial at sea.

artboy said...

has anyone seen my girlfriend around here? She's late for our daily ass-rape/humiliation session...

krixfort said...

I am draping myself with raw meat and diving into a shark tank. I want to get chewed up.

I would try corny's suggestion of self-canabalism but I'm trying to eat vegan.

krixfort said...

MM, after you're done dying and getting raped and stuff, why don't you join in the shark tank? it's a fun way to go.

sloth said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
artgirl said...

sorry artboy, I was busy today making an ass of myself on PaintersNYC. I really, really didn't get that painting they posted today; it took me hours to write my response, and then the rest of the day to read the rest of the thread. I just don't get that painting, or really ANY painting. Sorry, I'll let you fuck my eyesocket tomorrow, K?

sloth said...

whoops, I did it again...

sloth said...

MM, I saw your paintings again today, and may I say: they blew me away again. love love love.

Mountain Man said...

Thanks Slothers... I very much appreciate.

I spent the day packing up my shack. Bye bye little shack. I will miss you greatly.

Frogs said...

Capt'n I been missing your ways and means like something that misses something else very badly. My pluses are minus and in spite of the coma I am perpetrating inclusion on your uniformm.

Frogs said...

That's uniform with one m, excitement brings misspellings onto the webbed feet of those who know.

Corny said...

can we plaese all join paws now and get over the shame of speling mistakes, real or imagined, together? ... lets all apoligisze rite now for all future misspelings and typhos and just get that out of the why..

I'm not going to be so nice sbout it next thyme

Mountain Man said...

Yes Corny! I say YES. Joining the paws, no more cares or worries about the misspellings. They are fortuitous and part of our nation. Love.

Corny said...

guh'morning sunshine.

Mountain Man said...

Morning Corns. I see we are on the same blog schedule here. Very comforting.

Frogs said...

Frogs is delighting Corny's scale shifts that dig penumbras in his bugged out pupils. Here I am speaking of your paintings.

Good morning to all sunshine inhabitants.

lupis said...

good morning frogs, I want to lick your back and get high off your oily secretions.

The Capt'n said...

Frogs, always always know you have inclusion on my uniform.

pd said...

FROGS!!!! I wanna kissa you.

dubz said...

mornin mm.

Frogs said...

Greetings PD Lupy Capt'n and WW the queen of Uranus. I am the queen of the stone of Uranus, at least if you allow me to be. I miss everyone today, I was hoping to get munched by paper fish but instead I am intoning the guests of reality. Collisions are what I am wanting with you. Must come up with new post for MM. Thinking. Not easy.

dubz said...

i hope you think of sumthin mm... i miss you too and want to collide.

Vapor eyes said...

Sweet Frogs, collide with me. I have insurance.

sloth said...

Frogs, i almost killed your cousin Toads today with a shovel. he's okay, though. no decapitation to report.

miss you, froggggggs.

Mountain Man said...

Brain succumbing to the mouse poo problem. Mouse poo clogs the drain, eats the pipes that were once supposed to make ideas. Ideas gone in favor of food fights.

Frogs said...

Ok, so I have been doing research into invisible thrashing phenomena and I think I have come up with a post for tomorrow. MM will be pleased with the focused reading and eating I have done in anticipation of small audience publication. From here until tomorrow I will be enhancing confidence in order to take over the posting. I am scared.