Wednesday, March 30, 2005

despicable thoughts

My cublings are as follows:

PUG: Bad energy person. eats small children.

Alien: From country close to Holland. Wears stamped ring with insignia to burn into flesh.

Cutes: Fake foreign accent. Daggers hidden in bun.

Red Cub: Changes into a baseball cap at 5 pm each night. Carries a gun.

Ear cleaner: Strange coughing tick. The tick is a demon locator.

Tuber boob: As mentioned earlier, the liar. She is an enemy to herself.

This is all I can say now.

45 comments:

kitty the kitty said...

I saw the tuber boob and punctured.

PUG said...

Small children taste great and are less filling--is that so wrong?

HELENE said...

Pug, I would like to meet you. I would like to move forward, up and onward, beyond my dependence on kittens. Where can we meet?

mountain man said...

Good Helene. Lure the Pug to your mouth. Pug must be eaten and his bones chewed.

PUG said...

Let's meet in MM's cubicle when he goes to the wrangler's room. He is still recovering from the weekend of chocolate baby heads.

HELENE said...

I am a prim vixen. I am a pin in the balloon. I am the first beast in the line of beastonia. There will be a fight in the future to determine your outcome.

HELENE said...

Sounds good, pug. Can you share your secret for perfectly sharp teeth?

PUG said...

Okay. I watched Xena Warrior Princess...is that what you're like?

Janice said...

I have just made a grievous error. Jacques Derrida has invited me to see a play with him. I said ok but what I meant to say was no. I felt as though I didn't have a good enough excuse to say no. Ugh.

mountain man said...

Helene you are doing very nicely.

PUG said...

You gotta put your teeth to the grindstone...every day...no excuses.

ham paw said...

PUB and JELLENE,

Please consider your choices. the pub and the jelly are obvious choices of playmates, but the continuation of the intimacy involved in imbibing of flesh is too close for these companions of sharped teeth and straight hair parts. I would like to introduce an alternative lifestyle.

PUG said...

I do enjoy jelly, especially when it is a byproduct of the golgi bodies and endplasmic reticulum. Otherwise, Wench's Jelly will do.

friend said...

Derrida is a piglet and related to pug. Please piglet, cease and desist. Pug. Why were you born?

HELENE said...

I would like this introduction ham paw. I would like introduction to jelly enemas so long as you take some kitten sausage. I use their little intestines. They resemble breakfast sausage.

PUG said...

Does anyone really know the answer to that question? I think it was a meeting of the interstitial wigglets and the oblong pods in the womb of a rabid fox.

HELENE said...

Bless your heart pug.

Oliver Sacks said...

Have you read my book: THE MOUNTAIN MAN WHO MISTOOK HIS WIFE FOR A SAUSAGE?

mountain man said...

PUG and Piglet are nothing but bad news, unrelated to pork and kitten sausages which are good news to my rumbling hungry tum tum. Good luck with your predicament Janice. If you are lucky then Jacques Derrida will realize that yes means no.

mountain man said...

I have not read that book! It sounds good except for the fact that Mountain Men nevery marry. NEVER. Beth, you know that.

Jellene said...

I am Helen's jellied alter ego. I am covered in green aspic resembling prell. This is good. I am nicer than Helene. I do not eat kitten sausage, I brefer lamb's womb sausage. I have seen you before PUG. In the womb of a rabid lamb.

Fatty said...

PUG you are a noisy yapper. Heel!

Janice said...

I left a message on Jacques answering machine when I knew he wasn't home. Some might say it was the pussy way out, but I just need to be myself right now.

Janice said...

I left a message on Jacques answering machine when I knew he wasn't home. Some might say it was the pussy way out, but I just need to be myself right now.

PUG said...

You're the one for me, fatty, you're the one I really, really love!

Oliver Sacks said...

Recent research suggests a new species of Mountain Men--a secret society of wedders that do not forgo the pleasure of codependency.

kitty said...

I do not appreciate all this joking, joshing what have you, at my expense. If this is for real, then stay away from my sickly intestines. Beat it.

postmoderndebunker said...

How long have I been sleeping?

Oliver Stoner said...

Oliver Sacks you are wrong. True Mountain Men will never marry. They like to harvest hussies and smoke the weed.

ham paw said...

For those of you who are concerned, I am male. I have the tools but will not report to duty.

mountain man said...

I wanna cut everybody's pants. I have my little scizzors ready. I will cut when they walk by on the way to the bathroom. SNIP!

Cheez Wizard said...

Be careful with your snips, MM! You might accidentally perform a circumcision. That is sure to be unwelcome!

plug ass said...

god i ate to much fruit and the gas is killin me. my work neighbors are getting suspicious, but i can't stop

Necklace of Fire said...

Jellene and Helene you are both evil and foolish. I can smell you from here.

mountain man said...

I don't believe you really ate fruit or you would not have gas like this. You must have had bread in the shape of fruit. Dummy!

Hot Cha said...

Where are you? Everybody's eyes are closed. I can't see why I miss you so.

Susanna Hoffs said...

Necklace of Fire you robbed my underwear drawer. Why do you think that is ok? That is so not ok!

mountain man said...

Susanna Hoffs, I used to have the mega mega hots for you? Where are you now?

One hit wonder said...

Say Captain...sat whot, say Captain, say whot, whot

mountain man said...

I know this Captain you refer to. I said Captain, he said WHOT? He is deaf I think.

mountain man said...

Red cub is closing in on me. His mouth is foamy. He is preparing his cap.

plug ass said...

god it really stinks, how do you get rid of gas this bad in an office? my coworkers are suspect of me

mountain man said...

charcoal pillows helped me for awhile.

postmoderndebunker said...

I use a vacuum cleaner to suction the stench

postmoderndebunker said...

Captain Stuben, of course.