HEY! I am awake and it's real real early, the sky is not even up yet. I have invisible meats as fortresses in my inner cortex, it is not my brain, it is more like a shrub that grows by the onramp near my tubular ortho-placement stratification. I am excavating worms from the pile-up of madness that never ceases to exist.
For one I am allergic to the winds that rustle the leaf/tree dialectic and create low-frequency hissing noises in the loyal background. I am stuffed up. For another I am rumbling of pipes due to overfast consumption of certain items that are bad for my groin-intestine axis. It is an axis of dread.
I have a message for the ether which is that the rotund one can no longer foul me. I sent him a telekinetic tap-tap that said I do not want you to do things for me anymore and stop giving me uncashable checks. He still is owing much in the way of funds, funds that, believe me, I and my henchmen intend to collect, but I said no to him, I will give you nothing, no satisfaction, no goods, no representational packages, and I am less than concerned about his reaction. He is leaving on a month long voyage and when he returns I plan to say a forceful clear good-bye in person, followed by many many harrassing gestures towards him by me that are aimed at getting my funds. I am very clear-headed, untraumatic and excited for the nameless future. I am asserting that this future will be manipulation-free. The only manipulations I will allow are the ones I ramify in my backyard.
Thank you for your attention to these matters. I must stop the dribbling.
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119 comments:
I hate my sister.
I know.
the beast is a toxic braggart. Needs gagging with intensive therapy.
Thank you PD. I am feeling confident, with my fists turning metal every time I consider him. I am looking forward to his return from Europe so that I may bash him.
Where is Europe?
Yes PD let's confer on this more tomorrow. The rolling pin idea may be just the painful ticket for this mass irritant.
Anonymous, Europe is next to Asia and above Africa.
i think europe is to the east
Hey, I willa make a pizza pie otta thisa guy ifa you want.
lotund man is vely, vely bad man and need to be spanked.
i would shave lotunds heavy balls , rusty blade and backing soda
Yes PD. Exactly. Thank you Luigi, but perhaps a pizza would be assuming that this man has tastiness capabilities. i think he does not. He is too virulent. Think more about the pizza cutter and its possible uses. He will be in Italy so you will be extremely helpful.
Hmmm. Backing soda. Not sure I know what that is, hate ape. Is it fizzy goodness for your back? Please tell.
This man is code for idiot. I am dying to smash him. Maybe I will descend upon Italy and help Mr. Luigi with his pound and cut plan.
PD I am entranced by this comment. What have you done?
Ah wella, we willa know him whena we see him, I cana assure you ah that!
My country issa known for taking outa the trash, ifa you know whatta I mean.
Don't forget Revenge of the Sith opens this Thursday. I expect all you jedi scum to attend.
uh, as if! I hate all that Star Whores crap.
PD what??? I must know. I just got a foul email from the rotund one. It is too ridiculous. I think I must not respond.
hmmmm me thinks the phantom and the vadar might fight. me thinks sushi blamefull might have wise words to sooth the anger mmmhmmmm yess
fuck yoda graaaaaaaarrrr, i'll chave your back
Hey all, what happened to all the sex talk we used to have here??
preston blaaaach puike i give you a dirty juanita , come here and pull yuouure pants down
sloth recommends:
1. take a nap.
2. go after the motherfucker with a blowtorch.
Look Ape, I'm a well-meaning guy who has a penchant for oral sex, that's all. No need to get nasty. I am good at it and love to discuss it. But if you wanna talk Darth Vadar and stuff, I can't help you.
Preston I would love to talk sex talk with you. But first, I must, naughtily, quote from the rotund one's email:
Showing your work at the gallery and art-fairs, exhibition expenses (shipping, rent, etc.) wining and dining critics and collectors all costs and I'm afraid currently the bank account is dry.
PD do you have a fauxhawk?
Please may no one link to or reproduce that quote anywhere for any reason. Please?????
poor, poor Rotundy
Let me just reiterate that that quote is from an email in which he says he is leaving for Europe today and will be back June 10th. Also he acknowledges owing me MUCHO FUNDS and giving me a USELESS CHECK!!!!! I AM SO MAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My fists are not just metal but metal and fire. I am focusing my slit eyes and they are turning black. I am perpetrating searing pain in his groin.
Yes, those trips to Europe are expensive. The dollar being so weak & all...
You could try a voodoo dolly...
Voodoo is good. I will try all of it today. Poison Anus may have to come out & help me enact worms in his raunchy fat gullet.
MM, don't despair. Artists always get the last word, never forget. Draw on your special powers and rally the troops. Then bug this guy until he gives in. Then the blowtorch.
yes yes i will get what i deserve from him and he will in turn get what he deserves from me. i am ok. it's just this email was galling to say the least. it is therapeutic to release my toxins here. thank you all for hearing me out.
ughssk the rotund one, has no penis does he! fruckg k
preston come hear, sit on my lap i will sooth your backside whsiper sex talk in your lower ear
strangling with the bare paws is best, to feel the life force ebb away - most satisfying. No mess, no fuss.
The lower ear is the same as the anus in some circles. Preston. I will give you what you desire. But first I am enflaming the Rotund One. He is not feeling good right now, let me tell you, and is taking mucho many trips to the bathroom. Incontinence is a word that applies here. Burning sensations is also an applicable term.
I hope his anus is on fire.
yes, with hemorrhoids the size of plums!
I hope this man suffers! Bring it on!
Jicama Hater is an interesting moniker. I like Jicama usually.
I hope his hemorrhoids grow to the size of grapefruits. Maybe canteloupes.
I am not so sure about you Hate Ape. I am not interested in your brand of sex talk, I think.
Preston, I would like to think of you without trousers. Is that something you would be interested in doing right now?
Sloth will send mole-rats to gnaw on his giant 'rhoids as he sleeps.
I would like you to take off your pants too MM and PD. Sloth, I am not sure a sloth wears pants. But if you do, will you also remove them? And Jicama Hater, you too. Also, hate ape, although I am afraid to consider what he may have in there.
Sure, why not? Just as long as Hate Ape doesn't see.
I will think about it Kelly. I am so at ease now with all of these dastardly suggestions and wishes from my precious fun friends.
giblets in the wind! yum!
I must warn you though, it is a lot to take in at once.
Preston are you that well hung? Is it like a porpoise?
Okay Kelly, I am stripped down to the bone.
Preston you sound alarmingly sexy. And Jicama Hater, are you without skin?
sloth's bare bum is in the sun.
you are lucky PD. I wish I could get treats for blogging too. Yummy salad. I would prefer a corn dog though.
Sloth! Careful you do not burn!!
preston you shy boy, wehy not ? I thinking poison anus wants to join me with you. we can make some sooothing sensual times!
I am Mountain Man, I really am. I have trouble sometimes finding women to sleep with me, because it can get painful. So I turned to the tongue wagging and now everything is grand.
I am very florid right now.
Yes, I am peeled and exposed.
I wish we could all meet by the pier and show off our sexual wares. I will pay all of you for sexy time. I am a female john.
i want to inflate and scourge the rotund ones anus, look i can block the sun, an eclipse and he will not poo for days
kelly i have plenty of chest hair, well conditioned and i have a naturla nutty scent when i walk fast
Praise the roid!
Praise Jicama!
Dear MM, sloth recommends a trip to the spa to wash the toxic effects of the rotund one down the drain. And a session with the cuddlemonkey, too.
MM, this rotund one of whom you speak, I do not like him. He is of the type of person that krixfort hates. It brings out the meanness in kf. Tell Luigi to get out of the way because I need to put the hurtin' on this lame ass in a bad way.
Sloth is right. You go to a spa and relax. I will get you your moolah.
Thank you thank you dearest Krix. What a day this has been. I have been goaded and have doled out my fair share of goading. I am looking forward to satisfaction on all fronts.
feed me to the evil one. i will scratch his evil throat, and slice his innards to ribbons!
do it!
I just called my peeps in Italia, and they are ready for this joker...that is, if Krix. doesn't mess him up first.
We are cocked and ready for doom. We are like a brigade with uniforms and similar ideas all lined up. We have rocket launchers to blast with. We have him in our sights and we are marching heavily towards him.
a flesh-eating pox on tha fucka
I can see him too. I have a giant boomerang with 5 lb. Jicama balls cocked and ready to go.
I've got a vile of mad cow disease in my pocket and I'm giving it to the stewardess to slip in his Jesus Juice.
i've got a 5-lb cock ready to burst open the 'roids!
I can smell him from here. I think he's got the runs or something.
So do I! (maybe 6 lb)
I believe I see him waiting for his flight. I am going to contact the master brigade squadron leader and have him begin the emissions.
It is time for the most searing measures to begin. I think his anus is beginning to swell. I see it forming large bumps on the back of his pants.
I am waiting for him.
I see poo stains.
I am Dutch and waiting in line for the flight with him. I am rubbing up against him. He likes it. I begin to lick him. He doesn't like that. I bite his leg. He can't shake me off.
I see dead people.
Hey Dutchboy, be careful, he is a target. Do not get close.
We are hiding above his seat on the plane. We will invisibly emerge and rain goat poo and goat antics on his head while he sits for many many hours on the plane. He is too fat to fit comfortably in his seat. He is squirming from unhappiness, he is visibly irritated. This is good.
So glad to hear it Mr. Paw. I am very self-concious
I have a lisp too Ham Paw. It is embarrassing especially when combined with my stuttering. I hate the rotund one too. I want to join in the hates.
A lisp can be very alluring. I like lisps, I think they are sexful.
I am waiting for him to come to the netherworld (not the Netherlands).
I will brush mayo. and corn oil on his roids, along with lots of cadmium pigments.
Elixir Colonix--isn't that a band?
Oh I sense a rupture coming.
He is saving money on air fare by powering the plane with gassy bowels.
chimp. you are an idiot. go away.
I will scream in his ear during the whole flight. He will go slowly insane.
perhaps when the rotund one returns from his trip, FB can summon the rat army to perpetrate some war crimes against him. That is, if he hasn't already received enough torture from the goat poo and goat antics.
I will slice open his giant belly, and attach his small intestine to a big crank. I will slowly turn the crank until all of his insides are piled up on the floor. Simultaneously, my assistant will be peeling his skin off with a rusty cheese grater.
He is now vomitting from mad cow.
mmmmmmm rusty cheese grater. . .
yes i say lets throw a crown of thorns on his head for good measure
yes lets skull fuck him!
jesus christ? What are you doing here? Did you come here looking for dirty whore? She hasn't been around lately.
jesus christ!
we are awaiting ata the airoporto. He willa nota getta way.
please krix, no matter what she is still my mother. PS i know what you did last summer
I don't like all this Jesus stuff.
i don't either, it offends me deeply. someone please whipe my bottom
This is offending my litter box sensibilities
Yes, I am down with that, kitten.
Mine too! I am very unhappy here at work. people are weezing around me. And coughing strangely. They are taking away my happy healthy.
My litter was once clean. It is soiled.
Blogger #129. Who are you? Are you human or kitten?
Blogger #132 Says sheep
Blogger #133
white out
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