I am not a wife, nor am I a husband. I am neutrally inclined without sexual stimulantion. The hand job is the number one method for this nonactive actionary. There are migratory eruptions within the physical space inhabited by my smile. This is not a drifter's lament because my history is peopled with community team works.
Happiness is predicated on lack. Lack of fluids, intestinal fitness, deworm.
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71 comments:
Tell us more about the hand job eventuality. I am a motionless man, motion through the whirling movement of the arms.
I know you know the hand job Mountain Man!
I thought you were jumpy?
H. Paw. Why settle for a hand job? Unless of course it is the only conduit of pleasure.
Do I have a tickler for you, Ham Paw.
Or perhaps some joy beads would be more to your liking. Or the cast body-part of a porn star? Those are very popular.
MM, are you spinning spinning spinning?
Yes Sloth I am a whirl-i-gig of monstrously lovely proportions. The limbs and hair fly in circular motion. It makes pleasure and beads of sweat to form.
Hi Ham P. Tell the sirs about your poison arrow tongue. They will stand back.
Planks are the way out of any sinking where.
Oh MM, Sloth can see you spinning and it is an astonishing sight. Sloth's heart swells with the monstrous beauty of it!
Mountain Man
I believe I have seen you dance; you looked like a Dark Spiral. You couldn't stop.
I would like to whack the sirs with my flail? Is that possible. I am of a somewhat violent sect today.
you must obey me, slug!
Krix I am of your sect today. All violent acts are welcome on the sirs.
White Dwarf, I believe I know you from the petting zoo. The children all love your albino hump.
Sloth, I wish I could whirl as you tumble. Herky jerky to and fro motions on a stage of our setting. Choreographed to the post-music.
Krix, Mountain lets rumble. I am wearing the Berserk, Claw of Madness, and ready to fuck shit up....
Oh no, not the flail again! Drats.
I'll send for the pee-stick girl. She'll drill them with her laser beam!
but you said...
Yes get the pee stick girl to enact hates on all sirs. Hyperactive girl, what are you unapologetic for? You sound like you are having a tantrum in your own head. Are you ok?
i am filled with pus and malevolence. i cocoon myself in judgment of others, i am a martyr to nothing, i sit expectant, i aggress.
Oh Comatose boy, you sound angry. You and unapologetic girl should have a love connection with a bottle of tequila. Maybe you can find some common ground.
after we diminish the sirs, I would like to dance and flail with Sloth and Mountain Man. I will throw my arms akimbo and gnash my teeth with glee.
I have tequila hidden in my hanging bum folds. You can borrow it if you promise to give it back.
Yes to the gnash Krix! It will be a time to gnash and bash. We will consume the fortress of vengeance and spray it outward from the force of our whirling torsos. The dark spiral is allowable.
Comatose boy can't move or speak. He taps out messages in morse code with his penis. His private nurse sits nearby and transcribes.
Perhaps there is something to learn in the tao of the drifter? Odd drones are everywhere I turn. The eager dumdums who like to sit and waddle.
but he said.....wait, did you say tequila?
Fairy B, the waddle, as you may have found, is very ill pleasing to the bum aspect. It makes the bum more pronounced and diapery. The waddlers are a boon.
Quick, Hammy - bash them!
The tubers can be melted and made into a soup. Remember your poison tongue and the heating paws of ham. Turn the tuber to a smooth puree. Let's pound the sirs.
True, MM. Waddling leads to the mud-flap effect, which sweeps debris with forward movement.
I am hiding an angry small nibbler in one of my many belly floppers. With a great belch it will be released to create mayhem on the sirs and their ilk.
Fairy, if I give you a Fresca, will you burp? I want you to.
yes, and I will inhale as I swallow, building the gases incrementally.
So the strategy is this: Krix attacks with the flail, then FB releases the nibblers. The pee-stick girl goes for the eyes, and MM will spin and whirl, to create a helicopter chopping effect with the limbs.
i can squeeze your zit off comatose boy
and PD could come in and debunk the sirs. They won't stand a chance.
Sloth you are a master strategist!
I am practicing using the flail here on The Rogue, the hooker and all the rest of the trolls.
I used the flail and it was good.
I've got my debunking boots on... let's get at 'em.
haiku for Sloth!
oh Sloth! your log and
you are pleasant and welcome
in the land of blogs!
I have chopped the heads off 16 sirs. I never knew my helicopter motions could be this effective. Thanks for the target strategism Sloth. You are a Leader of Many.
haiku for Ham Paw!
Jelly sirs explode.
Flailing on the trading floor,
Ham Paw laughs with glee.
Yes Ham, I see the jelly seeping out, telling the woeful tales of all the sins in their histories. They are merging together into a sour and stringy rainbow pudding.
The pudding is searing burning painful. I cannot touch it or it will incinerate my hairy hand.
I am feeling so much better now after watching MM helicopter all the jelly sirs. I must anon to my drinking hole henceforth.
Someone just punctured my tuber penis!
Muchos love Krix. Thank you for your poems.
The nibblers move and dart about. They are lapping up the jelly, climbing up pant legs, munching ear tops and tuber breasts. Their song is wholesome but plaintive. They need to bite flesh. Their tiny mouths house numersous dental bits, cutting and shredding.
I got jelly all over my boots.
there is carnage to be sure but it is worthwhile. PD, perhaps Sloth's new cleaning lady can help you clean your boots.
Yes, Sloth will fetch Wandee to take care of the aftermath. She will love it!
Excellent job, critters. The jelly-shrapnel was flying so thick it was like a blizzard of goo. Truly delightful.
Here I am, sugar. Just hold still while I bend over...
Gotta scrub... those... boots. PD, Wandee thinks you have a wooden leg, meaning there is a stump up there somewhere. Is it in need of cleaning, too?
Ha, Ha, Ha. I just sold my stock in Smuckers.
Did someone call me? I've been walking in the woods. Wandee, come get this dung off my boots.
Hang on, one at a time. Gotta get rid of these nibbler droppings first.
We are astounded by the carnage and jam.
Whoa, what's going on today? This shit gets weirder and weirder.
Ham Paw, maybe you should bottle the minced sirs and sell it on the internet.
This is really gross.
Go away, up-chuck. Wandee has enough to do already. now scat!
mmmmm, minced sirs and jelly. mmmmm.
on toast!
We'll be a famous dessert topping, worth millions! We would rub our greedy hands together with glee, if they were not minced up into pulp...
Hammy, Sloth wonders if the minced sirs will be good for your internal workings.
Fruition of clobbering came upon you today. Nice team work, beautiful attituding and strategems.
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