Friday, April 01, 2005

TRY

to act normal. I have on some excellent pants and I want to make friends with my enemies from the men's bathroom real bad.

52 comments:

Mountain Man said...

There is a giant fireball coming towards me. I am tucking in my shirt and I forgot to wear deoderant. It is all so bad!

Anonymous said...

You musn't become a slave to your attackers. Do not be taken in by their luncheon meat ways. The fireball is trying to save you from them.

Anonymous said...

MM go into the light. This is a silly post. Couldn't you have made it a little longer? I am being mean. Sorry.

Anonymous said...

Oprah, I wish you would come back to me. I have been stuffing myself with mallomars ever since you dumped me. I am going to have a can of beer now.

Anonymous said...

Me and Janice and Jacques are having a great time up here. I am so glad I finally died. We are playing penochle.

Anonymous said...

My wife, she died. Is she there with you?

Anonymous said...

What does she look like Borat? There are so many dead wives up here.

Anonymous said...

She hada brown hair and a nice **.

Anonymous said...

Sted. we've been through this a zillion times....I love my best friend Gail now. But I will give you the numbers of my personal chef and trainer.

Anonymous said...

I will keep an eye out for her and tell her you said "hey". I will be on the look out for an especially nice **.

Anonymous said...

C'mon Oh!! You need me, you fat squatter.

Anonymous said...

Very niiiice. The afterlife, is it like New Jersey?

Anonymous said...

Actually it is not unlike parts of New Jersey. It may be more like Delaware. Very nonthreatening.

Anonymous said...

Dude, what can I say, I carried your sorry unsuccessful fat ass for all those years. I gave you enough money to buy a Malomar kingdom.

Anonymous said...

I have eaten too many mallomars too Sted. Let's go on a diet together. I always wished "stop the insanity" with Suzanne Powter was still an option.

Anonymous said...

Now you and the Sted. Man are in a little trouble, but there is no reason to gain weight over it!

Anonymous said...

My ass is cuter than your ass piggy piggy piggy. Betcha can't stay away from those white foods for long, delicious pasta and rice and potatoes and bread. You are weak Oh!!!

Anonymous said...

I like a little town called Camden--is a very much like Kazikstan.

Anonymous said...

Dr. Phil I wanna have a cut up war with you. I am funnier and nicer than you. I HATE YOU!!!!

Anonymous said...

I absolutely love Camden. But heaven is more like Wilmington, DE.

Anonymous said...

Sweet bejesus Sted, I just ate an entire Tombstone pizza 'caus of your whining!

Anonymous said...

What do you want on your tombstone?

Anonymous said...

Dr. Phil, just you wait for this cut up war to start. Your ugly puss will look like spaghetti. Oprah will want to eat you right up.

Mountain Man said...

Terri Schiavo!!! Yay!!! You are my idol just for dying. Well done, sweetie!!!

Anonymous said...

...and two McGriddles!

Anonymous said...

Clint, may I lick your balls?

Mountain Man said...

I love McGriddles. Don't tell Beth. They are the cause of all my gas.

Anonymous said...

I am here to help you fight the fires of evil. I have a long hose and a nice red hat. There are many more besides me who would like to help.

Anonymous said...

does the afterlife have outlet stores?

Anonymous said...

Oprah, I would like to go on your show. I think I would be a good guest.

Anonymous said...

hi firefighter. I'm bored. I'd like to see your hose and your hat. Meet me in my dodge caravan in the parking lot of Costco.

Anonymous said...

Hi Mountain-y! How are things?

Anonymous said...

I wanna show you my hose!!!

Mountain Man said...

I need to work out more, Krixfort. I need to do something with this malformed body of mine. Do you have any advice? How bout you Suburban Housewife? Chewed Up Baby?

Mountain Man said...

I am swelling from lunacy and perversions.

Mountain Man said...

Stay away from Firefighter's hose PD. I thoughta we had an agreement.

Anonymous said...

Stay away from my malomars Oh!

Mountain Man said...

I'm gonna starta to havea some Jack Daniels now.

Geekbird said...

what teh fuck is this site?? I'm confused and intrigued. I'm ruler of the world, who the fuck are y'all?

Anonymous said...

yeah, rebel helpers doin' it clean!

know what I mean?

Anonymous said...

MM, I do not have advice for the malformed as I am unsightly when I take off my phantom of the opera mask.

Anonymous said...

Beware of the cutter...who couldn't cut the mmmmmmmmustard!

Anonymous said...

Roll.

Anonymous said...

I'm on fire!

Mountain Man said...

Poison Anus? That's pretty grody. What do you look like? What color are you?

Hi GAS!!! How are you? Fine? A little nerdy? A broken substance?

Anonymous said...

I am cheerful. Bright and sunny! I love you.

Anonymous said...

I am blue and green like a milky algae.

Anonymous said...

Hi. You can call me Bob for short. This is a weird evening. I was hoping to commune online. There is someone in my life who I desperately do not understand. He is like a planet with no moons. He is a nice planet and then he gets to be an angry planet. He needs moons!!! You see?

Anonymous said...

You're right. I need moons.

Anonymous said...

I need planets. Hope to meet you sometime.

Anonymous said...

Roberta, I totally understand. I am very much like that. Good metaphor.

Anonymous said...

Roberta it sounds like your husband beats you. I am so sad for you.